Ouch. You might want to think twice about blaming parents who had a child OD.
As for spending money, I have one who is independent now, living in an apartment with a roommate, and working and going to community college. I chip in with some groceries and other supplies as needed, but mostly not, and they pay the rent/utilities/etc. My D22 has a job and has had it for a year so has a decent amount saved up. We will probably gift a little bit, but D22 doesn’t ask for money much now so I’m not sure why she would start asking for money at college when we’re already paying for the meal plan, books, housing, etc. I will set her up with some groceries for late night munchies, but she shouldn’t need to spend a lot I don’t think.
Sorry if it offended - I’m simply saying we hopefully have raised our kids to the point where they won’t make unsound decisions under peer pressure. I’m sure many, including mine do, but I was just noting there are dangers out there but hopefully our kids will avoid them.
I understand spiking happens without someone knowing…my intent wasn’t clear.
Reading this thread and others I am seemingly in the small camp of allotting much more of a food, clothing, Uber, etc budget than most.
I also agree that answers depend on individual family beliefs, abilities, etc. but just putting my atypical response out there in case others who differ haven’t posted for reluctance to be seen as too indulging or whatever adjective people will attribute to those spending or allotting more to their child each month.
Our intention is to give enough to cover the same expenses we have covered at home - haircuts, toiletries, clothes and shoes, school supplies, etc. Things I would consider day to day needs. And then have the kids cover their own dining out, movies, entertainment expenses, I-don’t-need-it-but-I-want-it type purchases. They pay for those things now out of money they earn or get as gifts. Our plan is to start with $200 per month transfer into DS’s checking account, but I’m open to that being too low, and if so we’ll increase it.
We preferred to give the kids responsibility for everything beyond what could be paid for out of the 529 (ie excess food, clothes, travel, etc.) and however you decide to pay for it, that figure may be more useful for budgeting purposes than simply asking about “pocket money”.
In a cheap city but with running a car, going skiing, and being in a sorority, D spent an average of $1100-$1200 per month over 4 years, while in an expensive city but without a car, fraternity or skiing, S spent about $750 per month until he moved off campus and the apartment and food costs exceeded the allowable 529 amount by about another $250 per month. Some of this money came from us (as a fixed monthly allowance to force them to budget for larger expenses like spring break trips) and some from their own earnings. Neither came home in the summer at all (except for 2 months during lockdown in spring 2020) but when they were here we would obviously feed them and pay for family activities.
