How much you "expect" the college students to work

Parents Forum
21

<p>It all depends on the household interactions and the personalities involved. I think your husband is being unreasonable, most people will say so, and I think you know it. Whether this is a point that has to be fought head on, or if some compromise can be reached is a relationship issue. </p>

<p>It depends very much on the kid and what else is happening as to how much he should work. In some cases, it doesn’t even make sense that he does, though in the vast majority of situations having to look for work, do it, contribute to one’s keep is a valuable growing up rite of passage. I’m not saying it is essential–I’ve known some very successful people, including young adult friends of my sons, who never worked a day for pay until getting a first real job out of college, and they are doing just fine, thank you. But IMO, and MO it is; no stats to back it up, I think for most kids, working is an important thing.</p>

<p>But if there are health reasons, study reasons, all sorts of other reasons, you need to weight them all into the equation. Example: my son changed his major, wants to transfer schools within his university. Found course load more than he could easily handle and the consultation and help hours conflicted with his job hours, and he had found a lucrative job he loved. What’s more important? Also, he did not work the hours he had planned this summer because he got a fantastic opportuity to go abroad with some friends for very little money, not something he’s ever been able to do, and not an opportunity any of my kids or I have ever had. So he took it. Cost was minor in actually dollars expended, especially for what he got, but the opportunity cost for making money, again at a lucrative job, was high. Plus his hours were compromised in that he took summer classes at the local state school so he would not be behind in his new major and could graduate on time. Permisson granted from his uni. Time well spent and in the end would save money and time since a 5th year or even extra semester would cost more. So you have to be reasonable, logical and flexible about these things.</p>

<p>He well knows the flexibility and benefits he gets in having his own money. He’s going in on an apartment with some friends and it’s really out of range for us, and for him to be able to swing it, he has to pay the excess. We’ve set a firm dollar limit for him on what we can spend for him, and have let him know it’s a stretch for us. I’d love to pay for that apartment but we just can’t without getting into financial uncertainty ourselves as the numbers don’t work for us.</p>

22

<p>Like others, we ask our daughter to work for expenses beyond tuition, room, and board. She works about 10 hours a week during the semester. Summer after freshman year she had a research grant through her school. I don’t know how many hours she worked. She is looking for similar work this summer, but it is possible that she will end up taking summer courses instead, or working some kind of non-research job on campus. I encourage her to limit the number of hours per week she works to about 10, as there are data to show that some work during the school year improves grades, but more than about ten hours a week can lower GPA. Because she is in charge of covering books & other expenses, it’s up to her to work out what she needs to earn over the summer and how to do it. If she came up with another great research opportunity over the summer that was <em>not</em> going to pay all the bills, we would probably help her out with that, because the career payoff will presumably be worth it.</p>

23

<p>

I work part time. H would certainly like it if I worked full time, or 80 hours a week even, but I have health issues and also have to do everything at home, as he is never here. As for D, I have no real idea, other than that S is much more like me in personality and D is more like H (not in the workaholic respect though!). </p>

<p>

Oh no. S uses his money for gas and spending money, and has amassed a decent savings account. D mostly spends her money on clothes and doing things with her friends.</p>

24

<p>There are a lot more opportunities in college for productive use of free time than just work, athletics and studying.</p>

<p>Your kids might as well be getting online degrees if they are not encouraged (or doing so on their own) to take advantage of the incredible non-classroom learning opportunities at a university. Symposia, conferences, world class speakers, performances, exhibits at the University museum/archives/libraries, etc.</p>

<p>It’s not just beer pong (although it might be if you don’t encourage your kids to go beyond their comfort zone.) My kids had opportunities to meet/hear/listen/participate in activities ranging from small meetings with heads of state, leaders of the majority party in several countries, art openings of blockbuster exhibits where the curators did a “student only” walking tour, poetry readings, premier of new musical works by avant garde composers, “tea” with the president of one of the world’s largest charitable foundations, and small dinners with Nobel prize winners, Pulitzer prize winners and the like.</p>

<p>Download the “What’s On Campus This week” schedule at a major university- it would make your head spin. Virtually every academic department has visiting scholars from other universities giving talks and virtually every performing arts organization has something exciting going on.</p>

<p>I have friends (and reasonably affluent ones) whose kids spend four years on campus running from class to slinging hash at the cafeteria or folding sweaters at the GAP at the local shopping center. If your kid needs to work to make ends meet- bravo. I’m all for having skin in the game. But don’t keep your kid so scheduled with a minimum wage job (if you don’t need the money) that they can never hear Yo-Yo Ma give a Master class (for free) or hear Cesar Pelli debate Rem Koolhaus on urban planning and design (also free) or meet Eric Cantor when he addresses the college Young Republican club.</p>

25

<p>Our son worked 8-10 hours in the tutoring center. He wasn’t the most sociable person in the world so the experience was good in that he met a wide variety of people and he got to learn about people and figuring out where they needed help and what their issues were. He also worked with a lot of other bright students.</p>

<p>He was also able to attend the guest lectures in his department with his schedule.</p>

26

<p>10-12 hours sounds to me like the upper end of a manageable work schedule for an on-campus job. BC- sounds like your son had a great experience (as did my kids with their employment.)</p>

27

<p>Blossom has some great advice. Thanks for sharing. Some of those opportunities are once in a lifetime events. I will bookmark that idea in my brain and share it with D.</p>

28

<p>I would rather my child not work during the school year unless it is a campus job. I worked off campus myself and the employer took advantage by scheduling me to work during class times and over 30 hours a week. I left that job, but it happened at the next one too. Knowing how much this happens (happened to my dh too, and others I know) I would like him to work a campus job. </p>

<p>I expect my child to work 40 hrs a week during the summers. He turned 18 this school year. I wish he had done it last summer, but, did not. I wish I had been harder on him over it. This is end of January and he has not done his part to get ready to pay for college. At the end of this school year, the day after Graduation, we plan to change the internet key. He will no longer have access to the internet until he is bringing in a paycheck and putting it in to savings. We are not wealthy people. And I am insulted by the idea that he sit around trying to play video games all the time while the rest of us work and pay his bills. He seems put out when I so much as ask him to do much around the house. I did offer to pay him what I pay the cleaning person (or used to anyway, we had to stop having her because we are saving money for college of course!). But he declined that too. He just does not “feel like” working.</p>

29

<p>Xaniamom, I feel for you. And your S. Your H is being unreasonable and is being too hard on your S. I think this will only drive your son away and resent his father. </p>

<p>Personally, I think you need to stand up for your son and this crazy idea. </p>

<p>My D had a work study job but there were semesters she could not fit in a job but when she could she worked. My kids worked in the summers and some summers they did work 40 hours but it was not a requirement. It sounds like your H is bein inflexible about this but only with one child. </p>

<p>I have no advice but really feel for you and this situation.</p>

30

<p>

</p>

<p>We used the Hunt Plan when D was still in college. She did not work during the school year, and during one of her summers home she could not find a paid job (depth of the recession in a hard-hit area of the US). That summer she took several courses at a nearby U where she could transfer the credits back to her school. </p>

<p>I also liked Blossom’s post. Unscheduled time can be a blessing. D is now an accountant in the middle of her first busy season , so it seems that those 80-hour work weeks arrive all too soon…</p>

31

<p>For us the “working during the summer” situation is linked to two things: the expected monetary contributions that the college estimates that students should provide and the student’s own need for spending money. </p>

<p>The student has the responsibility to meet those monetary expectations in the manner than she decides works for her. In other words, she is responsible for the behavior that leads to the expected result, not us. </p>

<p>That leads to two beneficial outcomes:
1- it leads to her financial responsibilites being met
2- it promotes autonomous responisbility from our student child</p>

<p>IMHO the OP’s H is trying to obtain what he thinks is proper behavior by imposition. Seems to me that at some point - sooner for some kids, later for others - the more important lesson isn’t getting the kid to do he right thing, it’s getting the kid to do the right thing on his or her own.</p>

<p>We’d rather teach the kid to fish.</p>

32

<p>I’m so sorry to hear you are and your son are going through this problem. I have to agree with some of the other parents that your husband sounds very controlling. This could eventually backfire on him when your son wants nothing to do with him. IMO, I believe that your husband needs some help. Perhaps the two of you could begin with marriage counseling and then perhaps he could see a counselor on his own.</p>

<p>We have never made any work demands on our D. She has a full academic scholarship, so she doesn’t need money to pay for college. She’s always been a saver, not a spender. I’d prefer that she not work during the school year so she can concentrate on her studies and extra-curricular activities. She worked full-time for the past two summers and this winter break as a software engineer making very good money. This summer she’s been offered a very exciting internship with a top tech company. I think that the experience that she’s gained from these internships is worth far more than the actual money she’s been paid.</p>

33

<p>My children have campus jobs for approximately 10 hours a week; the older child did not work the first semester, the younger child did not work the first year of college. </p>

<p>Younger child had a summer job following freshman year that folded by end of June (the business tried to branch out but the endeavor proved unprofitable) and she spent the rest of that summer reading and planning her next steps. She is now working limited hours during sophomore year and anticipating a paid summer internship in her field.</p>

<p>Older child began working second semester of freshman year but did not find a job for the following summer; I encouraged her to enjoy the freedom, read up on other fields and make sure of what she wanted in the immediate future. She has continued to work limited hours during the school year and full time (40 hour week) in the summer following her sophomore year; she has a full time paid internship out of state for the upcoming summer as well.</p>

<p>The school year work hours earn spending money and have helped secure more meaningful work for the summer because the college work references provided valuable input to employers. The paid summer internships, according to university career services, should help secure higher starting salaries…who knows with this economy; I do think this work experience will help secure a job following graduation.</p>

<p>I completely agree with blossom; there are many valuable experiences apart from classes, work and sports during the college years. We have approached work during college as a logical decision process with the children’s wefare and development as the primary goal - we assume they are doing their best and acting in their own best interest because we have no reason to doubt this presumption, therefore we do not feel an impulse to dictate requirements in advance of developing circumstance. If the work to be done is not gaining something besides a minimum wage it should IMHO be carefully weighed against other activities and uses of time for kids this young, 4 years of college is a relatively short time in which to lay the ground work for a lifetime.</p>

34

<p>College seems like a really amazing opportunity to waste by slaving away for 40 hours a week at what will likely be a minimum wage job.</p>

35

<p>Your H sounds like a control freak. S works to provide his own personal expenses. We don’t dictate when he works to make that money, nor how many hours. He prefers working FT during the summer and not working during the school year. My husband is a lawyer and he and his partner hire kids (HS and college) each summer so he knows he has a job in the summer.</p>

<p>If he has an opportunity to do a meaningful unpaid internship over the summer we would consider paying for some of his personal expenses. But we will not pay his personal expenses so that he can sleep late and got the beach daily over the summer.</p>

36

<p>My older son worked full time every summer starting when he was 16. He was well paid and I never expected him to work during the school year. He had plenty of spending money from the summer in any event. Our younger son has not always worked summers (he did language programs before and after freshman year), but he did work last summer. He’s supposed to have an unpaid internship as part of a study abroad program this term. (He’s interviewing this week.) The plan is for him to work next summer unless he gets into a free language program. Up to now he has not worked during the school year. From my own experience 10 hours was quite manageable and I even got better grades after I started working. But I am not sure that would be true of my younger son, who has a considerably more demanding schedule than I ever had.</p>

37

<p>And for colleges that have a flat tuition rate, encouraging your student to take an extra class (or two) each semester and it can ultimately save you a quarter or a year tuition when they graduate early or with a dual degree. They can then spend the 8-10 hours a week and devote it to that class instead of a job. I believe the net cost would lean in favor or not working and pursuing a larger hour load.</p>

38

<p>Does your husband ask for pay stubs each week? Or copies of your son’s time sheet? How would he KNOW when your son is working each week? Our kid got paid monthly for her job. I have NO IDEA whether she worked every week or not…and frankly I don’t give two hoots.</p>

39

<p>My parents never gave us an allowance. We did our chores for free! As we got older, we made money by working (my sister and I both had jobs on and off throughout high school) and helping our parents and uncles sell things on ebay. </p>

<p>I make extra cash (sort of) by reselling any books I purchase for school to Amazon. I get an Amazon gift card and use that to buy new books! Very helpful. I’m actually obsessed with saving money on textbooks. </p>

<p>Of course, our parents haven’t cut us off, either. And they’ve never mandated that we work a set number of hours. At the same time, they’ve taught us responsibility and the value of a dollar, and we’ve drawn our own conclusions from that.</p>

40

<p>So for those of you who expect your S or D to provide their own spending money and pay for books, which is what we anticipate doing next year when our son goes to college, what do you plan to do if they run out of money? I’m not that concerned if he runs out of spending money but if he has no money to buy books (due to poor planning with the money he has available), I’m not sure what we should do. I don’t want him to not buy books he needs for class and I don’t want him running up a credit card balance.</p>