@suzyQ7 I “made” my daughter apply to Penn State and Maryland as I felt she needed more coverage in the less selective school category. And I absolutely believe each of those schools could offer her a great experience. But the fact that she is accepted there is of little consolation to her right now. I’m hoping that may change as she recovers from this experience
We are doing an admitted students day at Maryland next Friday - hoping it’s a beautiful sunny day with trees and flowers in bloom. Her brother is at Ohio State so while she does like it there, and for a time even seemed excited at the prospect of going there, she now feels it’s too big and too far away. I can counter the too far away by telling her that we’d be happy to fly her home more frequently than her brother who only comes home for Thanksgiving, Christmas and Spring breaks. And I wouldn’t want her coming home any more frequently than once a month no matter where she goes. I can’t do much to counter the “too big” which would of course apply to Penn State and Maryland as well.
I feel for you guys, @adlgel. I hope if she is given time to sit with her acceptances she’ll get there, but I know it’s very painful for you both right now. I hope you’ll keep us updated.
Adigel…thinking of you and rooting for your daughter… What a painful process this turned out to be for your family. She does have great choices, just not what she expected. Just sorry for her and other kids in her position.
@twoinanddone We are already proud members of the Big 10 with our son at Ohio State. We have some good friends who are alumnae of and/or have kids at Penn State and Maryland and thoroughly enjoy our Big 10 rivalries. Don’t yet have any Michigan friends though, that could get tough
Before decisions come out its always a good idea to ask your DD/DS if there good with the safety school they got into or likely to get in…and then tell them you are definitly good with it as a parent.
The student should have been good with the safety school(s) before putting them on the application list in the first place. Parents also, at the very least checking that they are safely affordable.
I hope she has a good day at Maryland. There are certainly ways to make a big school seem smaller, including living in a specialized community, taking all courses in one area of the camps (at least the first semester), joining a fraternity or sorority, joining the marching band.
What I would like about Maryland better than Penn State is that you can do things that don’t involve the school. Go to DC for a museum day. Go to Baltimore to the aquarium. Choice of 3 airports. Penn State is Penn State. All the time. It takes hours to escape if you want to.
@twoinanddone even before all of the decisions were in, I was trying to sell her on all of those things that you mention about Maryland. DC was one of the things she loved about Georgetown so I keep telling her it’s just a Metro ride away from the Maryland campus. If she went to Maryland she’d be in the Honors College so that would definitely help make the school seem smaller. Hopefully her emotional wounds heal and she can start to appreciate these options. While she liked Bucknell a lot she wasn’t happy about the limitations of the area around it and Penn State is like that to a degree. Penn State gets a ton of kids from our high school so that can be a good thing or a bad thing depending upon how you look at it.
@CU123 and @ucbalumnus - I totally agree, However, when a kid doesn’t think they’ll have to rely on their safety school it’s easy for them to say - sure I’d be happy going there. And to be fair to her, my daughter really only said that about Ohio State as I made her apply to Maryland and Penn State. So my lesson learned is that we should have worked harder to find more safety options that were her choice.
The process is not just about qualifying – I think that at any highly selective college, it is also about standing out in some meaningful way. Obviously not every student can do that – I think it can be particularly frustrating for schools that were not so selective in the past, because they may be viewed as “matches” when they really are reaches. But Bucknell & Lehigh now both have acceptance rates of under 25%-- even lower when considering RD round alone. So your daughter’s college really consisted of safeties + high reaches + moderate reaches.
I understand that it’s small consolation now.
I just think that too many people make the mistake of assuming that if the student’s stats are in the top 25% of enrolled students it means they have overall top-25% standing in the applicant pool – and that simply isn’t true. Admissions is a lot more complicated than that.
@adigel - it may not be over yet. My kid did get off two WL by sending ing additional information (midyear transcript, more LORS, another essay). There is no guarantee Lehigh will got to its WL, but if they do you want to be the first one in line. I found out on CC that Cornell was going to its WL. I asked the GC to call Cornell to see if D1 could get off it. Adcom told the GC that they weren’t ready yet, but within few hours the GC got a call that they had a spot for D1. If your GC won’t do it then you can do it. If you have any pull with Lehigh now it is the time to use it.
Few years back I used to start a thread to post schools that are going to its WL (based on CC’er actual experience).
Your D could also transfer as long as she keeps up her grades. D1 was going to do that if she didn’t get off her WL.
I am so glad it worked out for OPs daughter. She wound up with excellent results, and great choice to make.
@adlgel I would feel the sting too. We all know that Legacy isn’t a guarantee, but would like to think that it would help an already highly qualified applicant. I agree with others that you should reach out to admissions and make some noise. I hope that the visit to MD goes well.
The admission process is threefold - if you can stand out in one area you have a chance.
Academics - GPA and scores (difficult to standout on these alone, in fact I don’t believe you can)
EC’s -much easier to stand out here with depth of EC.
Essays - somewhat easier to stand out here as it can be surprising how many academically strong students can’t put their thoughts to paper in an original and meaningful way.
I really wonder how you stand out. I can’t imagine reading thousands of files from kids with 4.0s plus, and excellent scores. Most of the essays are so short, it’s impossible to write much, never mind fully flush out a topic. My son got quirky. Maybe that ultimately helped. Hard to tell.
Some kids have "stand out’ qualities and some don’t. They don’t necessarily have to be major awards or accomplishments – it could simply be a unique interest or unusual life story. If they can identify their stand-out qualities they can use that information to target colleges that are likely to value those qualities. If they can’t – then they really need to develop more realistic expectations along the way and pay attention to admit rates.
@adlgel : did she get into the Honors program at any of the three universities? With her stats, I hope she got one Honors acceptance. It may make a difference. See if they organize honors tours.
(Note: for high stats kids, even if they don’t like the big flagship where parents “make them” apply, insist on applying to honors no matter what. If the big flagship is their only acceptance, then they can think that they didn’t “do all that work in high school” and “end up just like Anna who didn’t”, because they have their Honors perks and peers. It does make a difference to the ego and it does make a big difference in the experience, especially wrt the “large school” feel).
She can deposit somewhere AND apply to the NACAC list colleges she could be interested in. It may help her cope, at the very least, to think that she will have another choice in six weeks, if she chooses to.
ETA: I see she got into Honors at Maryland. See if they organize something for admitted students. Have her look through the living options (I think Honors students have various groups, did she get into something like GEMS or University Honors?) Deposit as soon as you can after the visit so that she can have a housing guarantee - the more you deposit into April, the less guaranteed that is. It’d likely be the last straw if she got tripled into a residence she hasn’t chosen…
@calmom I don’t think I have seen a single high achieving kid on CC who doesn’t also have strong ECs. For schools that interview, a positive review from the interviewer may carry some weight and “personalize” your application. I think its unfair to some of the really talented kids to make them feel that they didn’t do a good enough job of marketing themselves when in fact, I think it may be a bit random what catches the eye. I’m not saying you were doing that, but I keep seeing posts advising kids to make themselves standout when I’m not sure that it’s possible for them to do much more. I am specifically referencing @adlgel when thinking about an example of goodness, what else could you do?
I am also asking because I have offered to help a few folks I work with whose kids are going through the process next year. I told them to set up a lunch time and I’ll walk them through the process. Hopefully, my experience (which was largely positive) can help others.
