<p>It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
There is a place for everyone. Sometimes we reach for the moon, but don’t quite get there. Have a plan B. College is a stepping stone, where we continue to learn about life, about ourselves. This thread shows us a lot about the human condition, we are a resilient bunch. Everyone will find their spot and best of luck to all in your future endeavors.</p>
<p>Sometimes you don’t get want you want, you get what you need, it may just take a while to realize it.</p>
<p>
As cba pointed out…
What mdancer1996 did was a clear violation of the early action/decision rules. I have no idea whether this hurt the student’s admissions chances at either school. The guidance counselor at the student’s school should have caught this error.</p>
<p>[From</a> Duke’s website](<a href=“http://admissions.duke.edu/application/timeline]From”>http://admissions.duke.edu/application/timeline):
</p>
<p>[From</a> Harvard’s website (subheading “Answering your policy questions”](<a href=“https://college.harvard.edu/admissions/apply/application-timeline/restrictive-early-action]From”>First-Year Applicants):
</p>
<p>I applied to Duke Early Decision. I applied to Harvard Early Action, not restrictive early action.</p>
<p>Mollielie’s post a few pages back about being deferred from Brown and not being sure about her ED2 choice of Wesleyan prompted me to chime in here. I think applying RD to several schools (not ED2) is a better option if her first choice is truly Brown. You seem to want to ‘see the process through’ at Brown and not 'jump ship 'to another school. Apply to strong music schools (LACs) with few distribution requirements. I suggest a few more LACs like Wesleyan such as Vassar, Hamilton and Williams where your music will be valued. Make sure you have a fun safety or two for RD also. I hope this helps.</p>
<p>@mdancer1996, Harvard doesn’t have such thing as “Early Action” that isn’t binding; their only early option is restrictive early action, which–as pointed out–does indeed ban applying ED or EA to any private institution.</p>
<p>@mdancer
You were NOT allowed to apply to Harvard if you applied to Duke ED! The ONLY way to apply to Harvard early is through their RESTRICTIVE Early Action program!! As Bartleby said, that was a clear violation of Harvard’s EA rules. Your guidance counselor should also have never allowed it to happen.</p>
<p>I’m sorry about this guys. I had no idea there was only REA. I thought there was only EA. This is my first experience applying to college and the Common App didn’t notify me that there was a problem and neither did any of the colleges. I am home schooled and the oldest child in my family so my parents haven’t had any experience applying for colleges either. I’m sorry if I offended anyone. I honestly did not know. If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t get accepted to either of my dream schools. So I apologies again.</p>
<p>@mdancer1996:
It sounds like it was an honest mistake, so please don’t feel bad about it. I can imagine that, as a homeschooled student, it can be difficult to navigate the college admissions process.</p>
<p>Personally, I wish that colleges would get rid of the early admission process. It would greatly simplify everything…and level the playing field.</p>
<p>Do not depress by rejection because go with your interest, i suggest if your interest in golf so you should visit and has to take some experience by La Quinta country club by desert sprint golf club. I am sure you will be take a greate experience.</p>
<p>mdancer, no need to apologize to us. This, however, may explain the denials. If you had put down you applied to another college to either Duke or Harvard, they may have checked with the other school, leading to automatic denials.</p>
<p>mdancer- mistakes happen and I agree with SlackerMom that there is no need to apologize. I am having a difficult time figuring all this stuff out with my daughter and it is a difficult task and very stressful too. I applaud you for your honesty. That says a great deal about your character and you must be a great kid! Don’t focus on the rejections- focus now on your plan B. When a door closes, a window always opens. I truly believe that the window is always a better option! Chin up and keep going!</p>
<p>The violation was of Harvard’s rules, not Duke’s. Duke only restricts you from apply to other binding programs, which Harvard’s is not. So if it was a matter of a rules check, it was only the Harvard application that was affected.</p>
<p>I think that Bartleby is simply being realistic, and that it is a good thing that s/he corrected the false impression left by the other poster. </p>
<p>There’s no point in getting huffy about the fact that being an URM conveys an advantage in admission to some schools. It is a fact. It does not devalue the student’s accomplishments. Being a legacy also conveys an advantage. These are factors that help a student be selected from amongst a pool of very highly qualified candidates. No one is getting in “just” because they are an URM or a legacy at super-selective schools. Any tip or hook helps, and it is simply foolish to deny it.</p>
<p>Wow, reading this is a real eye-opener for a semi-geezer like me who went to college in the 1980’s. Fact: Getting accepted into an Ivy school, or Stanford, Duke, wherever, doesn’t guarantee you success in life. It means nothing more than: you got into that school. Anything more than that is UP TO YOU. Yeah, you can make connections at Harvard or Cornell or U of Chicago. But plenty of CEO’s and other successful people went to plain old State U’s. Lighten up, kids.</p>
<p>It sounds like you felt ambivalent about Columbia. But you may also be overly pessimistic.</p>
<p>If you are rejected, accept that it hurts, look it in the face, and decide to move on. Then move on when you can.</p>
<p>Life continues, the sun still rises. You will be OK, esp if you have some support. Besides, accepting disappointment is a big part of life.</p>
<p>I wish you the best of luck.</p>
<p>I am sorry to all who have been or will be rejected from their top choice school. We went through this last year. For both students and parents, it is a disappointment and loss worth mourning. Part of growing into adulthood is learning to move through adversity and challenge. Life can be difficult.</p>
<p>That said, there are many great schools out there and most are not on someone else’s top 10 list. Even if your GC is not helpful, there are books and online resources (including CC) that can help you create a customized list of compatible schools. Based on no studies but a great deal of life experience: the biggest factor in predicting your success in college and post-college endeavors will be the engagement and effort you put into your own life. </p>
<p>My son was waitlisted at his first choice college last year during the regular decision process and there was honestly no chance he would be admitted, largely because of our high financial need. He spent a lot of time working through his acceptances and financial aid offers, making a decision based on our resources and his heart. He is incredibly happy where he ended up and has thrown himself into every aspect of college life. If he had not engaged himself fully at his school of choice, the outcome would be very different. His first choice school had some things he was looking for that his eventual school of acceptance did not: a martial arts club, for example. Instead, he found students of like mind and applied for funding from the Student Activities group on campus – they started a new Martial Arts Club. Adversity can be a good thing. </p>
<p>You can be happy in many places. My advice to my own children is that seeking personal fulfillment and happiness is a more attainable end goal than admission to a particular school, especially in today’s admissions climate where nothing is guaranteed. </p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>Just so you know, I know a kid who got a 21 on the ACT and he got early acceptance to Stanford, so don’t lose confidence just yet. Of course, you probably already know by now, but you should keep applying. Especially if you have other amazing credentials! You’ll never know if you don’t.</p>
<p>Edit: I got rejected (not deferred, REJECTED) from Stanford on Saturday and it sucked, but then I realize that Stanford is a high reach for anyone and Stanford has a higher denial rate than most other schools for EA. I’m not taking it too hard.</p>
<p>jaxi101 - I toured UofT with my daughter and we loved it! Even though the student population is huge, they break it down into residential colleges so you get more of a community when you get there. Plus they have lots of clubs, etc., the two girls who led our tour were full of fun and encouraging info. </p>
<p>BTW I have a friend whose daughter attends Columbia and hates it. Talk about no sense of community - the students there are very serious, very into their studies, and not too into community. </p>
<p>You said your college counseling isn’t very good . . . I hope someone has encouraged you to include a few “safety schools” on your list? </p>
<p>I’m sure if you want to share stats and what you’re looking for that others can give you suggestions to look into (quickly! as the deadlines approach). Good luck to you!</p>
<p>URMs from afluent families are rejected quite often, there are so many qaulified appicants now that come through QuestBridge and teh money is available at HYP level schools, they will go for economically disadvantaged and URM. </p>
<p>I had an Hispanic attorney who worked for me who went to UVA both UG and Law, her alos Hispanic husband was a McDonald’s manager ( worked up form starting cooking as he learned English) after 25 years. Daughter went to privileged schools due to her mother, scored off the charts, and did not even get accepted to UVA ( as well as the Ivies) She was an incredible kid, bt I think the schools just felt there were so many more families that would benefit from the leg up they went that route.</p>
<p>No such thik as a shoe in where these schools are concerned ( although first in the family to attend college will be a leg us as well)</p>