<p>I know this is parents forum but i thought id get the best advice here. I leave for college that is 45 min away on thursday. I am not held together like most males, saying goodbye to family will probably be an issue... especially with my mom not holding it together. today my dad asked me a question about my dorm at lunch and she burst out in tears. ive been fine so far, but as the days at home dwindle I feel my emotions creeping up. Im only going to be gone 8 days before coming home so im not really moving out like some people so i dont know why this is so hard. Any tips to make this transition easier? I also have a nervous stomach so i feel that starting to act up too. My stuff is already in the dorm so it will be a quick goodbye at home, better than public.</p>
<p>It might be easier if you and your family all went to your dorm together --made your bed–wash the mirror…just all involved. LET your parents DO something. Say, “I need a fan” and then all go buy one. Involving your family and saying a tearful goodby–even for 8 days might be symbolic and build a bridge so that they can leave having been a small part of your life.
Our D is 28! and H and I went with her to RI from OR to help her set up for her next stage in life --and while she admitted it was “weird” she also wanted us there.
Let them pay for the fan…</p>
<p>I agree with oregon101, let them be a part of the move and txt them or call them frequently for a while just to be a part of their daily life. It does get easier, I am very emotional and this my D’s 4th year away. Before she left for freshmen year I sat her down and explained that I cannot say goodbye as it seems to final. Everytime we see her as we leave it is a hug and kiss with " talk to you soon". That sound weird but it is a part of my personality. My D actually txtes us every night when she know we will be going to bed just to say good night and I love you, it feels great as a parent and she says it gives her that feeling of being a part of our daily life. Good luck and it does get easier.</p>
<p>We moved our youngest one in this weekend. D2 tends not to be as expressive with her emotion as her oldeer sister. Instead of being emotional with her in front of people, I wrote her a letter few days before she left. I felt better after I wrote the letter. You may want to write a letter to your mom, let her know how much she meant to you and thank her for everything she has done for you. When you are in school, text and call her to let her know you are fine.</p>
<p>I left for college in the 70s, and I found that my mother would become snappish and pick little fights over nothing with me, shortly before it was time to for me to go (or go back after a break). I think it was her way of distancing herself emotionally before saying goodbye. Once I figured that out, I just tried to avoid taking the bait. Being optimistic and energetic through this transition, and staying in touch even if people are cranky or emotional, is a way of honoring everything they (and you) have done to get you to the place where you are a young adult, ready for more than high school. You will all be proud and happy once the transitional emotions have settled.</p>
<p>Your family will survive this but there will be some growing pains. It is normal to feel what your family it feeling. In time, mom may be able to handle you not being there. It is much easier the next year you go away.</p>
<p>Your feelings are normal! Being nervous, sad, anxious are all part of this major life transition. I think you will need to find ways to get you through the first few weeks comfortably, and keep your nervous stomach at bay. Some suggestions: stay busy, get involved in things you like to do, try meditation if you find yourself really worried. Reach out to others - the RA, school counselor. And know that the vast majority of freshmen have similar first-year jitters and homesickness even if they are hiding it. Take good care!</p>
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<p>I really meant to sit down and do that, but time got away from me and I didn’t get it done. Our “goodbye” actually got rushed as DH was dropping off D2 and her roommate to a function and an additional dorm mate needed a ride last minute. I gave up my seat in the car, told DH to drop them off and come back and get me. Right before he drove off I realized “this is it!” Just a quick hug and “I love you, have fun” and they were off.</p>
<p>Damn…</p>
<p>^^^It’s not too late to write that letter.</p>
<p>Men do cry. It’s just our stupid black-and-white Western culture that associates male emotion with effeminacy (and homosexuality, which remains a taboo), and tells males they need to “toughen up” or face ridicule.</p>
<p>I have never seen a move-in day without tears…from a parent, a student, a sibling.
It is a big moment, and we all feel overwhelmed sometimes thinking about that.</p>
<p>I think it helps to know you’ll be visiting home soon, and to have some specific activities to keep you busy during the first week.</p>