<p>i was wondering if any parents can give me some advice for this last week before i leave for college (i'm a first-year). any tips for packing? also, i was wondering if anyone could share any tidbits of info about moving in, getting to know people, and the atmosphere at most orientations and the first week since i am pretty clueless, as are my parents. i'm so excited/nervous about going off to college that i am trying not to focus on goodbyes and leaving my parents so i also feel like i need some advice on how to say goodbye. i'm also wondering if anyone could share a parents point of view about how parents feel about the going away business...i think my parents are sort of overprotective and will get emotional which makes me rather uncomfortable since i'm a bit in denial about leaving them soon. any responses will be appreciated!</p>
<p>Those vacuum bags (about $15 for a set with a 20% Bed Bath and Beyond coupon) are great space savers for bedding and lofy clothes like sweaters. </p>
<p>Say goodbye however feels right to you. There's no one way to start separating yourself from your parents. Remember that it isn't forever when they walk out the door, and you will see them again.</p>
<p>Estargrl, remember you're not leaving them permanently or saying goodbye, but, rather experiencing a change in the relationship. And it will change again in four short years when you graduate from college, and perhaps go on to continue your education, or even begin a career in a different city.</p>
<p>Your parents will miss you terribly; your daily presence at home will leave a huge void in their lives that cannot be filled by anything else. On the other hand, this is what they have always wanted for you, and they are certainly very, very proud of you, and very happy to see you heading off to college! </p>
<p>The best thing you can do for them is make sure to communicate updates about your new experiences - it can be via email, IM, or phone calls, or all three. Above all, what will make your parents happiest is if they can know that you are safe, happy, confident, and deeply engaged in your college experience, so any methods you can use to assure them of this will make it easier for them to adjust to your absence. </p>
<p>Re packing - lol, I don't think that's a clean process for anyone, no matter how well organized. You'll figure it out, and, if you forget to pack a thing or two, that's o.k. too because things can be sent to you later - parents love to pack things to send to their freshman in college, trust me. :)</p>
<p>Re getting ready: Make sure you know how to set up your own computer. Practice. Over and over again if necessary. There's never a tame comp sci major around to help you when you need it.</p>
<p>If you're going to a school in the northern half of the country, do NOT assume that you can wait until Thanksgiving to bring your winter coat and boots.</p>
<p>Some people will spend all of Orientation drunk. Do not do this. You will be so hung over that you will end up registered in Advanced Calculus for Engineers even though you are an art history major. Go to all the required academic events and some of the Orientation social events (the ones the college provides as an alternative to getting drunk) as well. Talk to the people on your floor. Go to meals with them. And if you hate Orientation, don't worry about it. Orientation isn't college; it's camp. It will be over in a few days, and normal life will start.</p>
<p>As for your parents, what I think they would appreciate most is if you communicate with them frequently. Send them e-mails. Tell them about the people you meet, the classes you're taking, and the weird stuff that happens. This makes it easier for them to communicate with you -- they have at least a vague idea what's going on. </p>
<p>Also, remember that just because you're at college, it doesn't mean that you can't use your parents as a resource. Of course, you have an advisor, an RA, and all the facilities of your college to help you, but sometimes people in your family can also be useful, especially if they happen to be online when the problem arises.</p>
<p>Re getting to know people at college:</p>
<p>Don't sit on your haunches, waiting for people to come up to you and introduce themselves and try to make you feel comfortable. Be on the offensive and introduce yourself to a wide range of people. Groups often form early, so you don't want to be sitting in your room.</p>
<p>estargrl, I think our S had the same feelings you're having during that last week--nervous/in denial/uncomfortable with goodbyes. He doesn't like emotional stuff. He backed off the hugs and kisses, and we didn't force it. At the moment he was leaving I could tell that he was trying hard not too cry and was going to lose it if the whole family got all sappy, so I respected that. I said goodbye to him in the garage. His parting words: "Do I HAVE to go to college?" My parting words: "Do your best. And stay off the computer." (One last nag from Mom. . .) After a silent trip to the airport, Dad dropped him at the curb, shook his hand, and said something bland like, "Have a safe trip. Don't forget to write." (When I told my sister about this she thought it sounded like a terribly cold and sad departure, but families/kids are different, and I think it was OK for us). S is going on a long trip--he'll be back for Xmas in 4 months. It's not that long. </p>
<p>I have a bunch of younger kids so don't have much time to dwell on the significance of this event. I'm sure I'd get all choked up if I did: My 1st baby is gone. My influence on him (good or bad) is over (or greatly diminished). All the mistakes we made over the last 18 years--will he forgive us? Or did he even notice anything wrong?... All those sweet and painful moments we had with this kid...Just can't believe he's grown up already. . .We're getting so old. . .in some ways he's overtaken us...In other ways he seems so immature, naive, and vulnerable that I can't believe we're throwing him to the wolves. . .how can he possibly make his way through LAX and get to his college alone? And there's his tattered velveteen rabbit left on the floor in his room...etc. (Heavy Sobbing). If you want to know what parents are thinking/feeling--that's probably a lot of it. It really was like giving birth, in a way. We were a little sad for a couple days, relieved that the big day was over, and angry that he left his room a mess after promising to clean up! (Little sibs were going through his remaining "treasures" like a bunch of vultures as soon as big brother was out the door. . .) </p>
<p>He left Thurs. I called him Sunday and he sounded fine. He was busy with orientation, socializing, getting reading done for first week of classes. . . (and NOT playing on the computer!) In spite of the bit of sadness, I am so happy for him that he's moving on, meeting new people, that he has this opportunity for learning, growing, maturing that a lot of kids don't have. I kept telling him that college is a privilege, a luxury, so he has to make the most of it. </p>
<p>I had already annoyed the heck out of S by giving him tons of advice (OK, it was the same advice, over and over--that's why it was so annoying) in the weeks/months before he left. Other people have already said it: don't stay in your room that first month or two. This is when everyone is open to meeting people. Even shy people (like my S) have to force themselves to say yes to activities. What if you're not too smooth at meeting new people, don't know what to say? Just ask questions to keep the other folks talking--people love to talk about themselves. . .Everyone is new. Everyone wants to meet people/make friends. Join one or two groups/clubs that interest you, but don't join everything--you have to keep up with studies, too.</p>
<p>Packing: Travel light. You'll be glad you did.</p>
<p>It is easy to get to know people. Lots of others are in the same situation as you will be. There will be activities to get to know others. You can even plop down next to folks in the dining hall and talk to them. </p>
<p>As for packing, I will second what atomom said. The most important thing is to pack light.</p>
<p>thanks for all the advice :)</p>
<p>One more from someone who can't resist adding her two cents worth...
cut your parents a LOT of slack. 18 years of effort is more these days than people put into most anything, let alone something that came from their own bodies. It is new for them too (dealing with you leaving), so their reaction is making you uncomfortable, try to get past that feeling and allow them their awkward and possibly embarrassing actions and words, quite possibly you owe them that. Just know that everything they say and do is because they LOVE you! Although it is cliche, "someday when you have your own kids, you will understand."</p>
<p>Oh...AND have the TIME OF YOUR LIFE!!!</p>