<p>Try to develop ECs and community service that will support the picture D’s application will present. If D wants to pursue history, do something outside of school that demonstrates a love of history. If D wants to pursue foreign languages, volunteer to help with ESL programs or something similar. This will serve two purposes: 1) it will create a stonger application, 2) it will test D’s interests. e.g., after helping with an ESL program D may love it more than ever, or may find out it’s not really what she wants to pursue. Either way she’s better off.</p>
<p>Unless you’re wealthy enough to be in the full-pay category –</p>
<p>I found this page to be VERY helpful in terms of maximizing eligibility for financial aid:
[url=<a href=“Your Guide for College Financial Aid - Finaid”>Maximizing Your Aid Eligibility - Finaid]FinAid</a> | Financial Aid Applications | Maximizing Your Aid Eligibility<a href=“that%20website%20is%20full%20of%20lots%20of%20other%20good%20info%20as%20well”>/url</a></p>
<p>Also <em>highly</em> recommend the book "Paying for College Without Going Broke*</p>
<p>Know the meaning of “base year” for FA – for entering students, this will be the calendar year that includes the second half of your child’s junior year in hs, and the first half of the senior year. If you are going to have any “bumps” of increased income (capital gains, exercising stock options, large bonus etc.) you want to have them occur in the year or years BEFORE that first base year. Also, you might want to max out (as much as possible) contributions to 401K etc in the year BEFORE the base year, because once you get into the 4 (hopefully) base years contributions to 401K count as untaxed income. (in other words, if you have a little extra cash, make extra contributions to the 401K in November-December of your child’s junior year, rather than early in the next calendar year) Also, assets should be in the PARENTS’ names, not the student’s.</p>
<p>All of this is covered in the webpage and book mentioned.</p>
<p>I vigorously second (and third, etc.) the recommendations to use the EFC calculators NOW to avoid unpleasant surprises later.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>That’s the idea.</p>
<p>When your daughter gets closer to the time when she will actually apply to college, she will probably do most of the research on college-related topics. But in the early stages of high school, when she wants to keep her focus on high school rather than thinking about what seems to her to be the distant future, a little quiet research on the part of a parent can be most helpful.</p>
<p>We took our son on his first college visits the summer before his Junior year. We went to 3 very different schools- UNC, Tufts, and MIT. It was very helpful for him to listen to the admission’s counselors and get an idea of what they were looking for as far as stats, essays, extra curriculars, testing… I think it was a bit of an eye opener for him and it was so much easier for him to hear it from them rather than me. He went into his Junior year fully aware of what he needed to get done in order to make sure he had desirable choices for his college selection.</p>
<p>Here’s a wonderful resource to help you as you navigate the path to college: [Brookline</a> High School](<a href=“http://bhs.brookline.k12.ma.us/Guidance/Choice+Not+Chance/]Brookline”>http://bhs.brookline.k12.ma.us/Guidance/Choice+Not+Chance/). At this stage, helping your D choose which HS courses to take that would best position her for college might be a good first step.</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>Thank you to everyone. This is a friendly community. I’m glad to have found all of you!</p>
<p>We set up a filing cabinet drawer for each kid. Have a hanging folder for “Awards” and each college of interest and “test info”. </p>
<p>You don’t have to visit every college in the universe – but do try to get her to at least one small Liberal Arts College (LAC) and one huge public university. That will help her get a frame of reference. Invite her to invite a friend and it will be more fun. </p>
<p>Also, remind her that she is the one who generates the material that a teacher or coach will use in a letter of recommendation for a college or a scholarship or a job application. Is she on time? Cheerful? Ready to help others? Not too shy or too bossy? We all can tweak our natures to improve a bit when we think about it! (When you are nudging her on this, invite her to tell you what you need to work on and she will be surprised and . . . too ready to tell you!).<br>
Good luck!</p>
<p>What I will add is grades matter, from freshman on. If your daughter has aspiration of going to top tier schools, then it will be taking most rigorous classes with top grades. On the other hand there is no need to go over board to take the most difficult courses and get B and C. </p>
<p>Start looking her ECs. It’s better to be deep rather than wide. </p>
<p>Plan out your daughter testing schedule. For top tier schools, she will need minimum 2 SAT IIs, maybe 3, one in math and science, and one in humanities. It is best to finish with all tests by junior year. </p>
<p>She will need 2 recommendation letters from her junior/senior teachers, again one from math/science, and another from humanities teacher. She should try to build some relationship with those teachers. As soon as she is assigned a college counselor, have her start seeing the counselor on a regular basis. It is important to be on a good term with the counselor. As a parent, it is also helpful to have a relationship with the counselor.</p>
<p>As some people mentioned, “show me the money.” Show your daughter how much you are willing to spend, what you would expect her to contribute. The worst thing is to start discussing about money after your kid has submitted her applications.</p>
<p>Oldfort makes a good point about the money discussion.</p>
<p>We waited too long and worried one of our kids unnecessarily.</p>
<p>About college visits: D2 will have stayed on 3 different campuses by the end of freshman year due to involvement with outside activities so she will have experienced a large public, medium sized private and small, religious LAC. D1 had not but we live in an area with a number of universities. We started the process with her by visiting a couple of schools that she wasn’t really interested in, but that fit a certain “type” of school so she could get a feel. That was helpful. But we didn’t do that until the beginning of junior year.</p>
<p>Just a comment about the PSAT- I don’t know about your financial situation or views on the sorts of college you’d want/allow your child to attend, but a sufficiently high score on the PSAT can pretty easily amount to a full ride at a lower tiered university. My kids did not study for the exam but their high school did hand out a one inch thick study/prep guide that they reviewed. My kids did quite well on the exam and one did accept a full ride at a state uni based on her National Merit Finalist satus. So, a little PSAT prep might be worthwhile.</p>
<p>For a student perspective (may I?) I’m a junior now, oldest child as well (my parents were not educated in the US, so we’re still figuring out a lot of stuff) and this is what my parents have done for me. I think it turned out pretty ideal in the end…I feel educated but not overwhelmed, and my early years of high school I was unstressed but still managed to get important stuff done.</p>
<p>Sophomore year: she should take the PSAT. (I didn’t, I regret it, although I did well the next year.) Not all schools let you take it sophomore year, but I think it is valuable practice. No study necessary (just walk in, take it, leave).</p>
<p>Encourage her to look closely at extracurriculars and see what she wants to do throughout high school, if there are clubs she’d like to get involved in, volunteering activities she wants to do…don’t pressure her to join anything, but make sure she can find interests she can be committed to. If she wants to do yearbook or the school newspaper this would be a good time to consider getting started or planning on doing those junior & senior year. She may want to consider going for a leadership role in a club she really likes and is involved with. It should be her choice.</p>
<p>I took my first SAT II the end of my sophomore year, for chemistry. Some of my friends did it June of their freshman year for biology. She’ll probably need two or three of those, so I think it’s helpful to get one of them done sophomore year (in a course she’s taking that year). You can maybe have her start SAT prep near the end of sophomore year or over the summer. No earlier! I have friends that started middle school; I think that’s ridiculous and confers no strategic advantage. 6 months of study should be comprehensive and sufficient (you can get by with less, too; I think I studied for three).</p>
<p>Junior year: have her study for the PSAT, like people said. If possible, get the SAT done early. She may have to retake. I would plan for first SAT fall/winter, and a retake spring if necessary. Late spring she’ll have AP tests to deal with, and probably more subject tests (people generally take them June, near finals, so this is a pretty high-stress time).</p>
<p>This is generally the time where people start becoming really invested in clubs (the college-crazed at my school all go and start their own clubs for the ‘leadership’ positions, or they’ve been elected officers for their junior year, or they begin angling for leadership roles senior year). Encourage her to make time for extracurriculars and other activities and continue in them.</p>
<p>This is a good time to begin looking at colleges or brainstorming (she’ll probably begin thinking about it now, since she’ll be dealing with SATs). No pressure. Maybe by second semester you could begin figuring out what she’s looking for and formulating a list.</p>
<p>And please talk to her about money. Talk to her about money. One failing of my parents is that they tend to tell me to just study and work hard, and that I’ll get scholarships or I’ll get into a really good school and they’ll “figure it out”. It’s sometimes like pulling teeth to figure out where I stand and what my options are.</p>
<p>Summers: my mum was, however, really good about investigating summer opportunities for me that were really interesting, and they’ll look decent on college applications (and give me essay material!). This is a good time for you to research and maybe come to her one evening and say, “Hey, you really like marine biology. I heard of something you might like…”.</p>
<p>We didn’t talk about colleges at all until mid-junior year. My kids did plenty of stuff, and are at great colleges, but during high school, they did things because they wanted to, not to build an application. Our entire school is very low-pressure about this, actually.</p>
<p>I think the best thing you can do is avoid the topic entirely. Guidance can discuss class choices with her, and if your child wants to discuss choices with you, that’s great. But let her come to you.</p>
<p>I think kids should choose extracurriculars and activities outside of school based on true interest. And expect those interests to change over the next 3 years, which is a good sign of exploration and getting to know oneself.</p>
<p>If there does emerge a “passion”, as people call it, you, as a parent, can help her explore how best to develop it, for instance, helping to find teachers, driving her, and so on. You can mention opportunities that you know about, but not indicate that it will help with college, only that it might be a good way to follow an interest.</p>
<p>I think that any early mention of college just seems to make for stress throughout high school, and that is a shame. It sounds like your daughter is doing fine!</p>
<p>Ah yes, the money thing. </p>
<p>I tell you what, I can see this being a problem. And I am not even talking about my daughter here.</p>
<p>Like I said, my DH and I both went to Vandy. Our parents put us and each of our siblings through college, paid, and no debt. DH and I did incur some debt for his Law School but we were able to pay it off in ten years.</p>
<p>Okay, so until about three years ago, we were spenders and not savers. Not wildly extravagant mind you- each of us have a vehicle (Honda van and Hyundai Excel) and a standard home. But we did take our kids to Disney World, ate out often and just didn’t really think much about money.</p>
<p>Then, about 3 years ago, I discovered Dave Ramsey and pulled DH in. We changed our lives and the way we look at money completely. We have no debt outside of our mortgage and being debt free is a high priority for me. We save for our 401K and we save for our kids’ college. With our current plan, I hope to have 40K for my firstborn daughter minimum before she starts college, with a minimum of 10k additional each year she is in college. That is the minimum we have planned for her.</p>
<p>BUT- she can’t go to, say, Vanderbilt or other schools with the same price tag, on 100 grand. She would have debt or we would incur it on her behalf. I don’t want to incur debt. One solution, if she really wanted Vandy (which, like I said, she is convinced she does, full stop) is that we would fund her 100K and the rest would be on her. But come on, on a teacher’s salary and 140K of debt? I can’t imagine it. </p>
<p>My DH, however, feels like he has failed if she gets in there or a similar school and we don’t make it possible for her to go. He can hardly even discuss it with me. He gets really upset about it. He just sees his little girl and having to tell her no and stomp on a dream.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t like to do that either but I also don’t want to get her hopes up. It may be that we are able to cash-flow it at some point with bonuses or something but I don’t want to count on what I don’t know, plus we have two siblings following her to consider as well.</p>
<p>I have no idea where to go with this.</p>
<p>How are the Guidance Counselors at your school?</p>
<p>We found that out GCs were stretched very thin, immediate crises had to take precedence over the kids who were doing well, and the counselors’ knowledge did not extend beyond the local schools.</p>
<p>If your situation has anything in common with the above, make a point of educating yourself. You can find on line the recommended high-school courses for a few representative colleges/universities. With that information and the HS course catalog, you can plot a baseline course plan for the rest of high school and the SAT IIs referenced above. This gives you a rough road map.</p>
<p>Vandygrad:</p>
<p>It sounds like the first big hurdle with the Money Thing is your husband. If you had one kid and had to stretch yourselves to afford an expensive school, that would be one thing. But you’ve got THREE. My suggestion is to send him to a seminar about Affording College, or some such thing. Let him come to his own conclusions. If you try to convince him of your point of view, then You are the one standing in the way, not harsh reality.</p>
<p>Good Luck</p>
<p>Last year, a parent told me that Vanderbilt would pay 100% of need. From the info below, it looks like Vandy makes most of the need-based aid available through scholarships or grants. There appears to be non-need based money awarded also. You should not assume you won’t be able to afford Vandy.</p>
<p>Here are stats I pulled off the College Board site:</p>
<p>Financial Aid Statistics
Full-time freshman enrollment: 1,599
Number who applied for need-based aid: 860
Number who were judged to have need: 743
Number who were offered aid: 740
Number who had full need met: 740
Average percent of need met: 100%
Average financial aid package: $41,002
Average need-based loan: $238
Average need-based scholarship or grant award: $34,489
Average non-need based aid: $20,488
Average indebtedness at graduation: $19,563
EFC Calculator</p>
<p>Compare Your Aid Awards</p>
<p>Financial Aid Distribution
Percent of total undergraduate aid awarded as:
Scholarships / grants: 92%
Loans / jobs: 8% </p>
<p>Non-need-based aid
determined by:
Academics
Athletics
Leadership
Minority Status
Music/Drama
ROTC
State/District Residency
Need-based aid
determined by:
Academics
Minority Status
Music/Drama
State/District Residency</p>
<p>Geekmom said “keep track of activities, hours, and honors” and compmom said “avoid the topic entirely.” My suggestion kind of ties into both of those, and that is, you might want to look at a copy of the Common Application. You don’t even need to show it to your kid if you don’t want to but I found it helpful to know how she will be presenting the information about her activities, etc. It’s also interesting to see the sections to be filled in. One of my kids was pretty active and high achieving and it really bugged her when it came time to fill in the application and she realized that with all her ECs and academic summer programs, she’d never had a job and had to leave that section blank. The summer academics were categorized differently, too, if they actually gave you college credit or were just held at a college. You certainly don’t need to choose activities based on the application, I am not suggesting that at all. I just think it might be educational for you to see it.</p>
<p>Vandygrad - I feel for you as I am also the one playing the tough guy when it comes to the cost of college. My H is confused why I want to limit the expense. (Hello…I want to retire at some point and maybe have the option to pay for grad school) I think he is too emotionally tied to sending the boys to a top school. I am looking for schools with great merit aid. S1 we will have to fully fund, but S2 should be able to get merit scholarships.</p>
<p>Anyway…here is the link for the Vandy merit scholarships. It looks like they give out 300 full tuition/renewable scholarships to each freshman class.</p>
<p>[Merit</a> Scholarship Programs](<a href=“http://www.vanderbilt.edu/scholarships/]Merit”>Scholarships | Vanderbilt University)</p>
<p>Now I have to google Dave Ramsey and see what you are talking about.</p>
<p>On Money:</p>
<p>“My DH, however, feels like he has failed if she gets in there or a similar school and we don’t make it possible for her to go. He can hardly even discuss it with me. He gets really upset about it. He just sees his little girl and having to tell her no and stomp on a dream.”</p>
<p>Been there myself, but in our case it was me with this thinking. I ran the FAFSA calculators when Happykid was in 9th grade, and again in 10th grade, and I finally got real about things. It was a long process for me. I had to go through all the stages of the grieving process. Fortunately, Happydad is an immigrant and doesn’t quite get the whole US college thing but does trust my native-born judgment about life here. We also are very lucky in that Happykid wasn’t in love with any college. In fact she didn’t even want to hear the word college until about this time last year! This fall, she’s headed to our local community college and she couldn’t be more excited if it were fill-in-famous-name-here. She’s delighted with the program there in her major field, and the fact that several of her best friends will be there as well. They are already sorting out the car pools and which sections of what classes they will take together. We will get hit financially when she moves on, but it will only be for two years, not four. Like you, we want her to finish with minimal debt.</p>
<p>On PSAT:</p>
<p>Take a good long look at each of your kids. Happykid can’t test her way out of a paper bag, but the school system offers the PSAT in 9th, 10th, and 11th grade. She took the mornings off each year, and we went out to brunch. She could have taken mock versions of the ACT and/or SAT in order to figure out which was better for her, but since her community college uses its own placing system (ACCUPLACER) she didn’t even bother with them. She did take the AP exam for English Lit, and submitted AP art portfolios, but that’s it. If I’d had a different kid, the plan would have been completely different.</p>
<p>On Internships/Jobs:</p>
<p>I want to second the advice that you keep your eyes peeled for good opportunities for your kids. Happykid had a great summer internship last year that I tracked down for her, and as a result of that experience was hired on the spot for a summer job this year.</p>
<p>Wishing you and your husband all the best as you work your way through this.</p>