What’s your advice? How not to annoy him. Which questions you wish, you had asked? How to make it really productive? Just for background, D is a high performing student aiming for selective colleges. His GC is efficient but has way too many students to keep track of anything or to really know them.
Do you even talk about admission strategy or is it done in final year and junior year meeting is limited to scheduling issues?
Ours was somewhat limited in how helpful it was in coming up with a list, as I had a more extensive list than the counselor did. Between my first applicant and last, everything shifted from mostly paper-based to completely computer based so a lot of it focused on the nuts and bolts of applying - parent brag sheet, kid brag sheet, teacher recommendations etc.
I would think the counselor may give you some advice about ED vs regular if that is what you mean by admission strategy? The only meeting that included the parents and GC was the junior year meeting. There were other group meetings. Our jr year meeting was a suggested list of colleges, what the student might do to improve his or her chances at admission, and the admissions process by the school.
Our junior year meeting was super helpful. Our kid talked- what was important, what wasn’t important, why they wanted to go to college and what they hoped to get out of the experience. We talked- same agenda. Counselor talked- what resources the school provided, the best way for us to move through the process and when to raise the red flag that something wasn’t happening. Then we agreed to spend the spring/summer coming up with a list-- some to visit, some not-- with the parents verifying that the schools were affordable (or likely affordable, or ONLY affordable under certain circumstances) and regroup September of senior year to confirm the list.
The school ran a college night for juniors and their parents where they talked about “the rules” (no going on a gap year and applying to new schools while you had asked for a deferral from the school you’d sent a deposit to; no keeping your applications in at other places “just to see” once you had accepted an ED admission, that sort of stuff) AND walked everyone through the timetable (when to ask teachers for recommendations, how late could you add schools to the list without the guidance department imploding, etc).
The GC was prepared with a very general “kids like you have gotten into schools like X” type of list, but it wasn’t a “chance me” meeting (plus the SAT scores weren’t in, plus the SAT 2 tests were still to be taken, plus no junior year GPA).
Good use of time.
Things I would bring:
–A list of colleges you are considering
–If the guidance counselor doesn’t know your child well, your child may want to prepare a resume or list of activities to help the counselor write his/her LOR next year. (at our HS juniors had to fill out a long form with this type of information before their junior year meeting so it was no needed, so decide if it would be appropriate based on the information you think the guidance counselor has)
Things I would talk about would include:
–list of potential colleges including any financial considerations that need to go into that list (ex. are you looking for schools with merit aid etc);
–timetable if any additional standardized tests should be taken;
–timetable for getting applications done (including any ED, rolling, or EA considerations);
–discuss possible teachers to ask for LOR (and I would have your D choose the teachers and ask them this spring semester) as the guidance counselor may have a sense of what teacher writes strong recommendations. Go in with a few options and run them by him/her.
----if you school has Naviance see how/when you can get access to the system.
–go over next year’s HS schedule. If your child is looking towards the most competitive colleges ask the guidance counselor if the schedule is sufficiently strong that he/she will check the box saying that your child has taken the most rigorous schedule available at your HS.
The biggest disappointment for me was that the GC did not want to discuss affordability at all. He basically said that was up to the parents. Back when I applied, I was forever grateful to my guidance counselor for coming up with a list of schools that provided good merit money.
Good point about most rigorous schedule. I honestly did not know to ask that question.
Timing was emphasized as we have a big HS and there needed to be lead time for transcripts, counselor recs, etc. Some of the GCs wanted the kids resume and brag sheets by the end of junior year, presumably so they could work on the letters during the summer.
You really have to do your own background work and come up with an initial list. If your school has naviance, it is a great place to start. I found the college guide books helpful to get a feel for different schools to get a preliminary list.
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His GC is efficient but has way too many students to keep track of anything or to really know them. [/quote[
You need to realize you are way ahead of the majority of students who have NO personal meetings with counselors. At DDs’ school, there was a big meeting where they gave the deadlines for the state schools and how to fill out a FAFSA form. That was it. We did all the footwork ourselves.
My daughter’s school scheduled individual college meetings with the guidance counselor during junior year. During the first visit he had a huge map of the US and asked her to cross off the states that she was not interested in. Then they spoke about size, possible majors, etc and crossed off schools that did not meet that criteria ( we had made some visits at that point). She came home with a list of 40 schools spanning about 12 different states and each state had what looked liked safeties, matches and reaches. Her homework was to research these schools further- possible majors, discuss cost, etc and come back in two weeks with a shorter list. We were also actively visiting schools during this time.
The school had several college nights for parents, including one that discussed FA and merit, forms to fill out, time tables etc.
I am not sure how helpful these visits were to me because I had been doing so much research on my own- but I felt they were beneficial to her because it got her involved in the process.
Makes sense. We get one meeting junior year then one senior year and one parent night event in senior year. That’s all so we better not waste this time.
In addition to a list of schools it might be helpful for your D to list what about each of those schools she likes… The GC might be able to look at those attributes and give some good recommendations that way.
Do you have standardized test scores yet? If you do, then you can have a more robust discussion about specific schools. If your D is taking the tests later this spring, then you may want to schedule a follow-up for when the scores are back. If you are not able to get another meeting junior yr (from your post above, seems like you may not) then see if you can discuss things/ask questions via email.
You may want to ask the gc her perspective on ED/EA if that is of interest to you.
I think there are only two ways the meeting can be a total waste of time:
1- Parents and kid think the meeting is about “how do I get into Yale” when the GC is focused on the process and encouraging the kid to look at Lafeyette or Lehigh or Juniata or some other schools where “kids like me” end up getting admitted to… i.e. complete disconnect between reality and admissions probability, OR
2- Parents and kid have not had a candid and tough conversation about finances. Kid is thinking, “we are full pay and parents are prepared to pay whatever it takes” and parent is thinking, “I can afford 30K per year with a combination of savings, small loans, and current income”. Then you are asking the guidance counselor to mediate while not upsetting anyone while not demotivating the kid (who after all- still needs to take SAT’s, finish all his/her classes, sign up for senior year classes, etc.).
DO NOT walk into this meeting without understanding the gap between what a college will expect you to pay and what you can actually afford. THEN it’s a total waste of time.
We found our meetings incredible helpful. But other families in this school walked out in la-la land. Don’t allow your kid to foster fantasies of NYU and living in a cute apartment in Greenwich Village if your budget is Baruch and commuting from home.
@SugarlessCandy I would be sure not to come across too much like you have your own agenda at the meeting. Keep these points in mind, even go in with a list of questions, but I would let your kid’s GC lead the discussion and then ask about any additional things not covered at the end of the meeting.
All districts are different. Our GCs must have asked the kids ahead of the parent meeting what they were thinking and what they wanted to study. The GC had a list of schools to suggest. There was discussion of what the student was aiming for in terms of prestige and type of college, and likelihood of admission, but nothing about finances. We had that discussion with our kids, after we did more research on financial aid and merit money.
Don’t forget about affordability-- my kids GCs kept telling them how they would have no trouble getting into this or that school, but never taking into account merit $$ or how much these schools ultimately cost.
Go in knowing the college counselor really does have your best interests at heart.They want kids to do well in college admissions and be happy with the results.
The more you know going in the more helpful you can be. When we first met our GC, our kids had looked at a few colleges and had a general idea of what they liked. The older one knew his college major, the younger one did not.
These are the most important things you want to get out of the meeting:
- What are the deadlines the school needs you to meet? i.e. how much lead time do they need to send off their part of the applications?
- Does the school have Naviance and if they do when can you get access to it? (Ideally right away.) If they don’t have Naviance, is there some way for the applicant to see how many students with similar stats got into the schools under consideration?
- What sort of schools do students with your child’s stats, course rigor and activities tend to get into? (presumably you have at least PSAT scores, and ideally one set of ACT or SAT scores)
- What sort of help do they have for the college selection process? (Our school had a very informative college night with panels with admissions officers discussing different types of schools, a big college fair, a night on athletic recruiting, a night on how financial aid worked and the ability to sign up and talk to admissions officers when they visited the school fall senior year. They also had the most important info in a packet they gave to every student.)
- Our school was aware of net price calculators and gave out what scholarship information they could, but do be aware that many consider money a private business so if they seem to be avoiding the subject, it’s up to you to ask them what they know.
BTW our ratio of student to GC was something like 150-200 - they did an amazingly efficient job, but there were limits to what they had time to do.
If this is at a public school like here where the GC has 400 plus kids, you are probably already better informed than the GC if you are looking at OOS. Here such a GC would be locally savvy but her focus is not the already privileged high achievers. If your kid is already a superstar, you would probably be aware of that. The meeting here was a smile and nod meeting.
At our school, the GCs were not permitted to,discuss family finances…at all. So…be prepared to do,THAT yourself.
Another thing…don’t expect the sun, moon and the stars. You will have limited time.
And please let your kid do the talking.
Yes, do your financial planning and discuss cost constraints before he likes any particular college.