How to reject a college gracefully....

<p>Because we had personal interactions with faculty during the admissions process (music performance candidates generally do) my child sent personal notes to the rejected schools. The notes thanked them for their offer and regretfully declined. There was a request in return to know what school was chosen and a response was sent. We were treated with much courtesy in the process and we believed it appropriate to treat the schools the same way.</p>

<p>For the general studies admissions, we’ll just be sending the card back as there was no personal contact during the process.</p>

<p>Coureur and others - we just had our first waitlist call from a small southern LAC. They are calling to see if a particular WL student is still interested and how her spring grades are. This is what I have been talking about - obviously their early indications are not good and they are getting their ducks in line to go to the WL. So, please send those response cards back to the schools you will not be attending!</p>

<p>Just say no. Keep it as short and simple as possible. You do not have a personal relationship with the school, they can fill your spot and will do so. Don’t waste some clerk’s time with verbage. They can send a survey to find out reasons of they wish. The exception would be as above- to music faculty.</p>

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<p>I agree entirely. I was just kidding. I’m in the 'trust me, no one cares, camp"</p>

<p>I think treating individuals with respect makes sense- if you met with faculty and had a personal connection for example and wanted to let them know. But worrying about a nice note to an institution: makes no sense. The ‘institution’ doesn’t read it.</p>

<p>Vanderbilt actually asked me to write reason why I decline their offer. It made me feel so terrible because I already got a hard time deciding to decline it.</p>

<p>In that case, the correct answer is, “It’s not you. It’s me. I’m just not ready for this relationship.”</p>

<p>Remember- you owe them nothing. They can ask but you don’t have to give a reason. It is nice if you can give a quick thought, but don’t waste any time trying to think about it. Never a need to justify your choice. It must be obvious that you preferred another school or you would be going there. The exception would be finances- if you would be there if the costs were lower definitely say so.</p>

<p>I thought I was cynical. Sheesh
I will be disappointed if my daughter does not respond personally to the admin officers she came into contact with. Admittedly these are small LACs, and I would probably feel differently about a large school that just wants a reply card.</p>

<p>A lot of schools send questionnaires asking where students ended up and why. I did fill those out–why not?</p>