<p>Ok, so because I'm planning to take the March SAT, I've been drilling myself 6 hr/day for the last week and doing hw in the morning. So today, I was exhausted and so decided to read movie synopsis today and my dad happened to walk in. He was really mad and yelled at me for not memorizing SAT vocab instead (since supposedly I'm behind because I'm doing only 100 instead of the expected 200/day) and telling me to go do some more work. Whenever I take a break, he gets really angry and is like "you're not working hard enough" or "do you want to go to a cc" and I'm just so incredibly frustrated. He can't seem to understand that I need breaks too sometimes. Yesterday I watched an episode of tv and he was glaring at me afterwards and refused to speak to me. And he doesn't understand that hw takes time either and yesterday when I spent 5 hrs on a Eng assignment, he accused me of wasting time on the computer instead. Since most people here are parents as well, can anyone tell me what I should do?</p>
<p>And on a different note, he also criticizes me for being not feminine because I do have my moments of attitude and temper and always compares me to this 8th grader who is cute and innocent all the time and it completely ****es me off. Any advice?</p>
<p>Don’t get caught in the trap of reacting (and probably overreacting) when your dad is mad. You need to discuss this when everyone’s rational. Try scheduling a meeting with your parents at a time when all 3 of you won’t be distracted. Calmly tell them how you feel and what the facts are.</p>
<p>Keep the feminine thing separate from the SAT stuff. Deal with it another time.</p>
<p>Pretty much what I’m going through. Ive basically dont really do anything in my house, of course they get mad. But until I figure something out to help them understand the amount of work I do and how it isnt really comparable to their experiences, school in my opinion is going to come before my parents opinions of me. Much of purpose in school is to make them proud by going to a well known university, if they are making it worse for me to do so by constant yelling ontop of the hours of exhausting work and ppl i have to deal with. i kind of have to cut them off until i the next break. I guess I am taking an approach similar to a mother or father who works all the time and really doesnt have time for the children. But in this case, the children are in their 40s?</p>
<p>It’s an unfortunate situation. Reading extensively from an early age is the best way to increase vocabulary. You can catch up a bit by studying, but not if you are brain-numbed and exhausted. </p>
<p>Make sure you spend some time on test technique too. That can help a lot too.</p>
<p>Clarification, I try not to go home as much as they would allow or get extremely mad over and I work at my local university/library. But they also dont really trust me which also makes my life harder.</p>
<p>OK, for starters your dad is wrong, wrong, wrong about memorizing vocabulary. That is an ineffective way to master vocabulary. You need to learn those words in context. The best way to do so, is by extensive reading over a long period of time. But since you have a short time frame to work on this, pop by the library and pick up an “SAT novel” or two. There are a number of entertaining novels that have been deliberately written to employ SAT vocabulary words written by a number of different publishers. Some have extra vocabulary review activities as well.</p>
<p>Yes the SAT/ACT can be important, but truthfully, your regular schoolwork is more important. Remind your dad about that. Your grades are much more important in college admissions than your test scores are.</p>
<p>I will just repeat that this is not the way to acquire vocabulary. Reading is important but so are the speech patterns of your parents, ironically. Are your parents English speaking?</p>
<p>SAT’s aren’t the total answer to admissions either. They may be used as a cut off to establish the general pool of candidates but after that, schools use lots of other criteria.</p>
<p>The original purpose of the SAT’s is to measure aptitude, at least the SAT I’s. SAT II’s measure academic experience and knowledge, in subjects. Theoretically you should not have to study SAT I’s. I know many people prep and improve, but my kids didn’t at all. Your father should know though that there is no way to get great SAT’s through study alone. Some kids won’t study and will get 800’s, other will study a lot and manage to get a higher score, like a 640 versus a 540, but the background and aptitude have to be there for the really high scores, period.</p>
<p>Community colleges are great institutions. Using that as a threat is really insulting to all the students who attend these schools, and more and more are doing two years at community college to save money. Your parents should love you “even if” you go to cc!</p>
<p>It sounds like your father wants you to get into a prestigious school to reflect well on him. Honestly, the situation sounds pathological. I don’t know what you can do about it unless you can get him into counseling with you. I am sorry. Your value as a person is not defined by your SAT scores or where you go to college. I hope you can hold onto that through the years.</p>
<p>Make a schedule of your week, a visual planner. Post it where everyone can see what time is given to school, school work, sleeping, eating, ECs and studying for SATs. Negiotiate that last amount…</p>
<p>Tell your father in advance that you are taking a break for x minutes at x o’clock. yes, that’s a pain. But it might forestall some yelling.</p>
<p>Don’t use the words tired or exhausted. Use “not retaining things” or " want to test my retention". Parents, in general, find it astonishing that people who do not have jobs, financial responsibilities, children, or debts could ever be tired.</p>
<p>Enlist the aid of an SAT all-star student’s advice: Find an online source of study hints. Present this to dad as " what do you think about these ideas? Could you help me decide if any of these are any good?" which may give him some power, some perspective, and something to do. </p>
<p>I nagged my children to study SAT technique, but I agree that SAT novels are better for vocab. Or those flash cards, done in very small chunks over time if he needs something conventional to keep him quiet. Your father is out of line, imho. You know what you know. Cramming or gaming the SAT ultimately is self destructive, because it can misrepresent your abilities, which then can mismatch you to a school. SATs also can’t measure maturity, work ethic, perseverance, resiliance or social ability — all of which are as important as mere academic prowess when it comes to graduating from college.</p>
<p>Also, get some REALLY LONG vocabulary lists. Study them. Ask your Dad to test you on them. Ask many times. He may feel a bit different if he has to get involved in the tedium.</p>
<p>I agree with Marian, but not just so that “he has to get involved in the tedium.” I think that you’ll have an easier time learning the vocabulary by doing it with someone else rather than by yourself. If he’s asking you for the meaning of a word that you don’t know, instead of him just giving you the answer, ask him to use it in a sentence so you can try to figure it out. I think that this process can be very helpful in actually learning new vocabulary, rather than just memorizing words. I don’t know your father, but he may enjoy being part of the process. Maybe it will help your relationship.</p>
<p>Challenge him to a competition, tiger parents love challenges.
You and he will both to learn a list of 200 words.
Then quiz each other the next day at dinner.
Rinse, repeat.
Until the both of you have learned the whole list.
This will give him something to do rather than random yelling at you to study.
And you two will have interactions that are fun and not full of tension.</p>
<p>I’d see if you can do a multi-pronged approach. I love the idea of both working at the vocab and testing each other. I also agree that reading in general is a better way to learn vocab than lists, but really it’s a lifetime of reading that counts. Have you taken any practice tests in the blue book of real SATs? If you are getting great scores there, perhaps he’ll calm down. Finally, I think the idea of having a time sheet which includes down time is a great one. Agree on how much time is reasonable per day. If he really thinks you need to study 24/7 you have a problem, but maybe there is some middle ground.</p>
<p>Op,
Generally in school and life, it will be important for you to study and work efficiently rather than just being a “grind” meaning plugging and chugging along doing spending time that isn’t really increasing your scores or your grades. Thus, the most efficient way to study vocab (which is 19 questions on whole SAT) is buy the book direct hits volumes 1 & 2. Alternately, if you google direct hits, you will find flash cards that others have made on the web. Basically, you only need to learn these 400 words total. Please do not study 5000 words to try to get the 19 questions. I like the idea of your dad quizzing you on the 400 words.</p>
<p>As for time management, you should print out some weekly calendars. Discuss with father how much time you will need on each subject in general. Then add a 20% buffer because everyone underestimates how much time something will take. Include times for meals etc and include downtime (TV, surfing internet, texting friends), and put all of this down on the schedule. To study all the time makes it difficult to retain info. When you are studying, you need to be studying; and while you are relaxing, you need to be relaxing. Don’t try to combine the 2.</p>
<p>Like all of Green Button’s solutions.</p>
<p>In general, I am not sure how one is able to change a tiger dad to a non-tiger dad.</p>