<p>Thank you all for sharing, especially the sophmore and Junior parents for giving us a peek into whats yet to come!!</p>
<p>It sure is going to be an interesting ride…one would think that with college applications and acceptances things will begin to calm down a bit, but I guess not.</p>
<p>Does a parents job ever end??</p>
<p>Brother attended University of Minnesota - Twin Cities. 4.0 and is loving the fact that he got to go out of state. Recommends going out of state (or at least away from home) to everyone.</p>
<p>Marian and lefthandofthe dog–thanks for the reminder. I remember it being explained to me this way: the 4 years are like traveling through a long tunnel. Freshman begin the journey and can see where they came from, Sophomores are more in the dark and they can’s see where they are going or where they came from, Juniors are headed towards the light, and Seniors just want out. Therefore, sophomore both in HS and College are the most lost.
S is at Willamette U and had a very good year acedemically. Lost some emotional time with a HS GF and just recently set himself free and is now missing his college life and all of it’s potential. He is worried about summer work as his promised job seems to be falling through and he needs to earn next years spending money.</p>
<p>He didn’t end up dead or in prison</p>
<p>Mine isn’t done for the year till middle of June- I am holding my breath till Memorial Day weekend is over- she is going camping with a bunch of kids.</p>
<p>As the parent of a gifted kid with learning disabilities, one is always wary that the next turn in the road will have car-size potholes. This one didn’t. He had a lot of support and even more determination. The school was great and he deserves lots of credit.</p>
<p>ShawSon finished freshman year at Amherst. He enjoyed it progressively more as the year went on. He made a few friends and the circle of friend expanded over time, but he didn’t find the kind of folks who are likely to be life-long friends. He’s slow to make close friends and I expect they will emerge. He found an extracurricular activity that he really liked.</p>
<p>Amherst had promised to be accommodating. They were. He loves intellectual challenge and loves discussion classes. Because of his learning disabilities, he has to work harder than most kids and be strategic to do well. He is extremely determined and competitive. His professors pretty quickly picked up the strength of his intellect. Two professors he had first term told me on parents weekend that they were nervous when the disabilities dean had called to tell them about a kid who need above the standard accommodations, because their experience with kids with learning disabilities was that they didn’t perform well in their classes. Both were surprised and pleased that he had the highest grade on the midterms (and possibly on all of their tests). He won a prize as the best freshman in one department. He was proactive about spending time with professors, which he enjoyed, and which helped the professors get to know him. However, his course selection in the second semester had too much reading/writing. He ended the year simply exhausted. He got sick toward the end and had to pull back on his extracurricular activities. But the extent of the tiredness and exhaustion was less than any year in high school and he recovered from the sickness much more quickly than in past years. </p>
<p>We saw the virtue of the smallness of the school (faculty seriously engaged with him and Deans very accommodating when asked and even proactive in making sure he got what he needed to succeed) and the downside (course selection limited).</p>
<p>Loves WVU with a passion. Cleared the 3.0 GPA goal both semesters, but had to work hard for it and we are not sure he has the work/play balance figured out yet. He was bothered that his friends (none of whom are in engineering) didn’t have to study much, so it took more self-discipline than might have been the case at a more selective school where the majority of students work hard regardless of major. On the other hand, his classes were plenty rigorous, so absolutely not the case that he was “too smart” for this school even though his high school GPA/SAT may have made that appear to be the case. He changed majors from biometric systems to petroleum engineering in his second semester after deciding that the computer science courses might not be his cup of tea, but happy with engineering and liked his courses overall. </p>
<p>As parents, we were very impressed with the support given to parents and students alike in engineering at this school. A very warm, fuzzy kind of place and the opposite of cut-throat. Offers remedial classes, classes to transfer into mid-semester, and chances to take a course again without impacting GPA, all of which is designed to help students succeed rather than just washing them out. So, a great place for a student who may not have had the best prep in high school for engineering either due to a lack of maturity or poor high school teaching of chemistry, calculus or physics. From what I can tell, the students eventually learn the material as well as they would going to a more selective engineering program, but any remedial work or do-overs do lead to a low four year graduation rate. </p>
<p>S2 is going to summer school to stay on track since he opted not to take 19 credit hours one semester and dropped his computer science, so found himself two courses behind after his freshman year, but should be back on schedule by this fall.</p>
<p>Good of you to share this info for each other and for the HS Sr parents. Mine is graduated and in grad school now. But freshman year was the roughest for her. She didn’t share all of what that was about. But I can see some of the reasons. </p>
<p>She had to adjust to going from West Coast to East Coast (but that is what she wanted going in and that is what she was happy about coming out.) Not coming home for spring or Tksgiving. She is a chronic overloader and sometimes can’t deliver, so that is a more serious problem in college than in HS. She should have taken Calc again at college rather than rush into Multivar Calc. She had a hard time ‘getting’ that, but eventually did, as is a ScB in Math/CS. I think lots of kids want to go gung ho with first semester classes, but should not overload until they see what the load is like. Too much stress, plus then you won’t have time to do extra ciric stuff where you meet friends, get used to the place. She decided on substance free dorms while she checked out how heavy the scene was, but found she didn’t click with the people, and didn’t need the protection. Too many were religious or other non-clicking reasons. Was much happier rooming with 3 math/science boys in a suite the next year. She picks friends carefully, so not having a close friend for a year can be hard, I’m sure, when you are used to your group as a HS Sr. Her closest friends that year were Seniors graduating. Also, didn’t particularly click with advisor or student advisor.</p>
<p>Things that went right were being up front with getting to know profs, looking for side research/job right away (although that was just 10-15 hrs.) Taking freshman seminar classes, small class with significant department member. Making a plan for next year’s roomies. Joining a club or two (one academic that sent her to a competition, one social) Got summer job with a prof.</p>
<p>Sophmore year was better. The relationships started clicking, deeper friendships form. The housing was a better situation. She found her major. Got good W/S job. Got research grant. Met boyfriend who lasted throughout. Joined WISE. Got department advisor.</p>
<p>Jr year, now deeply immersed in major, very involved with department, profs, got on a good group research project, became TA. Moved off campus, but walking distance, so close a dorm was across street practically. Almost all classes in major due to deciding relatively late. Worked summer on research.</p>
<p>Sr year study abroad 1st sem. Stressful while applying for PhD and NSF fellowships and while still working hourly paid basis for research project that started as Independent Study then turned into summer research grant. In hindsight, I suppose she shouldn’t have had that many conflicting obligations in order to fully attend to BSM, but still worth it. If you can do it Jr year, and still get your reqs in, that is likely a much better, less stressful option.</p>
<p>Just a little recap for those who wonder about the progression and how, often, kids can sort it out and get stronger. Now in grad school and another higher bar to hurdle.</p>
<p>D loved her first year at NYU. Grades were good, got a nice internship and made some good friends. We will see how next year goes with the (school owned) apartment living.
Like any school, hers is not for everyone, but it seems to be a good fit for her.</p>
<p>Twin DDs both at Saint Mary’s College of California</p>
<p>Both began as Bio majors and SMC’s science kids hit the ground running with Chem and Calc. One of my D’s survived the weeding out year. The other struggled with the math and was placed on academic probation after the first semester. She has decided an English major may be a better path for her and all fingers are crossed that she does well enough this second semester that probation will become a memory, so far it is looking good.</p>
<p>The school has been supportive during the academic probation period, required a workshop and follow-up throughout the semester so I am pleased.</p>
<p>Socially I don’t know how it could have been better for either. They each cultivated new friendships, participated in ECs that mattered to them and I think both learned that talking to professors is a good thing!</p>
<p>My D is back (May 8th) from her freshman year at Loyola in Maryland, where she was originally wait listed. She wanted a medium size but tight knit community;flexibility in majors; good study abroad options; and somewhere warmer than Boston. Loyola was all of that, although she probably brought the snow south with her, as they had a record winter. </p>
<p>She had a great year, although the first semester was shakier than we knew because of the newness of college life, some roommate issues (that didn’t result in a switch, just adjustments between the girls), and being away from home from August to the end of November (which she knew ahead of time would be the case.) D said second semester was much better.</p>
<p>Academically she did really well-the lowest grade was B- in a intro to physics class for the core, which was great as she never went above the basic college prep chem class in HS. She’s one of those who has to work extra hard for good grades and find a balance to still enjoy herself, and it worked for her. Socially, she said things improved each month.</p>
<p>Her advice to freshmen is use the support systems available, especially to the freshmen. For example, she took most of her rough drafts to the writing center for advice; she participated in the pre-fall orientation outdoor program-those are the people she spent the most time with throughout the year and with whom she’ll room sophomore year; she visited the career center; attended the study abroad info sessions in anticipation for the junior year programs;enrolled in an “Alpha” class program fall semester which adds an extra class a week for that particular class to meet for study groups, to attend an event together, and to become more comfortable with the professor; and she worked on Habitat and some community service.</p>
<p>Her second piece of advice is to keep an open mind. She said in the beginning she was quick to judge (in a quiet way) a lot of people, and learned it’s better to give everyone some time. She also said she went to a lot of campus club meetings to get a feel for things. It soon narrowed down to activities and people who shared her interests, but she said it was good to give new things a try. One of those activities was the Habitat project, where I expected to hear she was painting when she was actually up on the roof with a nail gun!</p>
<p>For sophomore year she applied and was accepted into a sophomore housing learning community, which sponsors programs she hopes will help with the process of declaring her major, preparing for study abroad, and career advice. She was also nominated and accepted into a leadership program to meet every week or so, and she’s excited about that because she’s never been one to get into SAG etc. on the HS level. </p>
<p>She does miss the Boston scene and sometimes wonders if she should have applied to a school there, but in the end thinks she would have spent more time at home and with established friends going to school in the area, and therefore would not have pushed herself out of her comfort zone to try new things. </p>
<p>So now she’s back for the summer, working on the Cape and has 3 1/2 months to hand with the old crowd, hit Fenway and The House of Blues, and hopefully earn some money!</p>
<p>My daughter is not back yet but this has been a rollercoaster ride Freshman year. She really loves her school but they don’t do all that much with her major (Theatre) in Freshman year and she missed that a lot. She was cast in two theatrical productions and 5 or 6 student films including one masters thesis film but it wasn’t enough for her. She became very involved with stage crew for shows and actually won an award/scholarship for her work in one major show, rare for a Freshman.</p>
<p>She’s moving off-campus with two theatre major friends next year and is looking forward to that, and, will be taking many more theatre classes so Sophomore year should be even more exciting!</p>
<p>What worked:</p>
<ul>
<li>great job on campus providing spending money and a sense of structure.</li>
<li>great floor of freshman and flexible RA</li>
<li>wonderful professors and TAs</li>
<li>tremendous array of organizations and sports</li>
<li>he was academically prepared for the rigor thanks to his high school.</li>
</ul>
<p>What was challenging: (challenging, but profitable)</p>
<ul>
<li>to drink or not to drink and finding the balance (typical college learning)</li>
<li>pacing of classes, clubs, sports, frat, job</li>
<li>laundry</li>
</ul>
<p>Overall a tremendous year of growth! Amazing!</p>
<p>DS recently completed freshman year at UMICH. I was very nervous about the size, particulary for him (we had chosen small private high school in part due to organizational challenges). He had a fine year! Special positives included an on-campus job related to his intended major and logistical benefits associated with being reasonably close to home/gf (he had considered a few OOS schools). His experience was so different from mine-interesting to now understand how each student will forge his own path regardless of the chosen environment.</p>
<p>S had a pretty craptacular first year at the University of Mary Washington. </p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I wish S had done that well. He not only didn’t turn it around the second semester, he did worse! He went to the emergency room twice for a lower back injury, and ended up with sleep and mobility problems for several weeks. He sent a email to all of his professors explaining the situation, and they all told him he had to go to Academic Services to officially request accommodations. He didn’t go for over a week, and by the time he did, Academic Services said they couldn’t do anything for him retroactively.</p>
<p>It also didn’t help that he frequently overslept and missed his 10:00 class and didn’t turn in some assignments. He ended up with a W, an F in a 6 credit class, a B, and a pity D in a retake of a class he failed the first semester. At no time did he make use of any of the support systems, or even go to office hours to talk to a professor.</p>
<p>After one full year, S has a grand total of 16 credits and a 1.46 GPA. He is on academic suspension for the fall semester unless he goes to summer school and earns 6 credits with a B+ average, and has to get approval from the Academic Services dean before he can register for summer classes. It will totally be on his dime.</p>
<p>He’s not a partier, just terribly immature and totally lacking in executive function skills. I should have listened to my gut instinct and made him go to community college for at least a year. He wants to go back to UMW, mainly because it’s the first time in his life that he’s had more than two friends. Classes, not so much. I’m not about to pay that kind of money just to give him a social life, so he’ll be paying all of it until he brings his GPA up enough to get off of academic probation. If he does end up suspended for fall, he’ll have to live with his dad and work full-time until spring, or forget about going back to UMW and just go to community college. What he won’t be doing is sitting on my recliner, playing computer games and watching cartoons. :mad:</p>
<p>Son has finals this week and does not come home until Friday, but my impression so far is that he exceeded his own expectations of what he is capable of in an extremely rigorous academic environment. </p>
<p>The first semester was tough, not just academically , but just getting used to everything new, including horrible New England winter, or “frozen tundra hell” as he refers to it! </p>
<p>Second semester was better in many ways but mostly due to being settled and having the initial shock behind him, as well as more opportunities to wear shorts. </p>
<p>Also, he learned about moderating alcohol/partying the hard way so hopefully that lesson sticks.</p>
<p>A popular paradoxical maxim of the place is “IHTFP” = “I have totally found paradise” OR “I hate this f*****g place” is apparently well earned and true. He knew about the intense love/hate reputation all along, so sucking it up is all part of the deal. </p>
<p>I am interested to observe how this first year has shaped him…we will see! Can’t wait to hug him on Friday!</p>
<p>Stevensmama, try to let go of the anger - maybe you’re just venting to us - and use the summer to try to figure out a solution. Having an executive function disorder is not defiance or disobedience and isn’t necessarily something he’ll outgrow. Have you read this Mitch Nagler article?</p>
<p><a href=“http://aspergercenter.com/articles/college-experience-asperger-syndrome.pdf[/url]”>http://aspergercenter.com/articles/college-experience-asperger-syndrome.pdf</a></p>
<p>It is geared toward students with Asperger’s Syndrome, but it applies to about anyone with an executive function disorder. My son will be working with a psycholigist this summer and I’ll share whatever ideas she has. I guess the term that’s in vogue right now is “scaffolding.”</p>
<p>Thank you all for sharing your experiences.</p>
<p>Thank you everyone for sharing. This is extremely helpful as I get ready to send my SoCal kid to NYC for school in the fall.</p>
<p>Yup and weather is the main reason son is choosing USC over WashU!</p>
<p>Thanks to all for sharing.</p>
<p>My D completed her first year at Univ at Buffalo and has grown in so many ways it’s hard to take in at times. I was worried that she’d get lost in such a large school as she’s a pretty reserved and serious kid. She was miserable the first week there and called me crying multiple times a day. It was a challenge not to “rescue” her but I’m so glad that we just compromised on a few weekends home, which really did help her relax and gain perspective although it’s not usually recommended. By Thanksgiving she was fine, had made lots of friends, had gone on some outings offered, joined a club or two, and had two great roommates…they’ll be living together next year too. She’s found that a large school is made up of smaller “communities” and will offer many helpful, caring people - from profs to library assistants, she almost always had positive interactions once she learned to use the resources available. She faced her fears and returned as a confident and independent young woman who still likes hanging with her old mom:)</p>