<p>My D had a great first year at Clemson. She did better academically than she ever has (said she didn’t have as many constraints on her time as she did in high school when she did sports and had a job), was involved in student government and a sorority. And my kid who picked her college based on quality of life (Clemson was ranked #1 for Happiest Students when she decided to go there) was very happy indeed. I was surprised that she didn’t meet many friends from her dorm hall as I expected but she did meet them from classes and her sorority. All good.</p>
<p>It’s been a very difficult year, for me and S. He had an awful first semester, as a commuter at a regional campus of our state flagship. It was his choice to commute. I attended this school for my freshman year back in the dark ages. It’s quadrupled in size, and I hoped it had changed. Nope.</p>
<p>Over Christmas break he was so distraught he decided to join the Natl Guard as a way out of this place. Went all the way through MEPS, but the recruiter had lied, so S walked at the last second. To say they put immense pressure on young kids who are floundering is an understatement.</p>
<p>Went to cc 2nd semester. A much better fit, much better grades, and really hit it off w/a prof he had for 2 classes. Unfortunately his advisor/favorite prof is, after 22 years teaching, embroiled in a political snafu w/ the school. So, prof had ok’d summer internship which S lined up, then that prof’s superior un-ok’d it to “get back” at prof, and prof won’t be returning in the fall.</p>
<p>S’s g/f had a baby, of which he is not the father, last week. She told him upfront, but now the baby is a reality. S is emotionally exhausted. It’s like he takes a step forward, and something drags him back. She is a lovely young lady, but they are so young, and this responsibility is not his.</p>
<p>He is a hardworking, honest young man. Part of his problem is he tries to work too many hours while going to school. He is independent and stubborn and has to learn things the hard way–which he seems to be doing…</p>
<p>After having S’s during older teenage years, I say bring on the young teens. Mouthiness is nothing in comparison. However, do not let them age :)</p>
<p>Our daughter just returned home from her first year at Hampshire College, and it was a fantastic transforming experience for her. In one year, she evolved from an ‘O.K.’ writer to a good writer, and she became interested in new subjects that she had never professed interest in before. She also got heavily involved in extracurricular singing and drama activities, joining an a capella group and the ‘theater board’, which is charged with deciding which plays get produced. Lastly, she quickly found a great group of friends who share similar interests. All-in-all, she had a wonderful social experience, which was initially a concern, given that she elected to be housed in a ‘substance-free’ dorm hall. </p>
<p>Although she is glad to be home and feels the need to relax from her whirlwind schedule, our daughter is already looking forward to the Fall, when she will become a Housing Intern (i.e. R.A.), which is somewhat of a coup for a rising 2nd-year student.</p>
<p>My first-born had a wonderful freshman college experience. She picked a school that was less competitive than she could have attended - a small, liberal arts college in an urban area. Super stress-free, and that made all the difference. It is a good school, but not Top-100, and she is thriving there. Not all smart kids belong in high-pressure environments. Mine has the soul of an artist, and I am so very grateful for the beautiful time she enjoyed. I didn’t get the prestigious sticker for my car, but I have a healthy and happy kid who is making fantastic memories.</p>
<p>My son just finished first year at U of Montana and it was a good year for him. He had taken most of what hs had to offer in the first 3 years so took online college courses summer between jr & sr year of hs plus classes during senior year so combined with 6 credits of AP English, went to campus with 33 credits. Most of his generals were out of the way so he concentrated on premed courses including several honors courses. Got a 4.0 first semester and 3.7 second. It was the first time not getting A’s with 2 B+. It was a good character building experience, but his girlfriend of 2 years breaking up with him just before finals probably didn’t help. He did a bit of growing up dealing with some problems with roommate, experiencing a great TA one semester and one not so good the second. He also spent a week during winter break helping out at homeless shelters & soup kitchens in Hollywood, CA. He landed a research job for the summer on campus in the neuroscience department so he won’t be coming home but he’s doing what he wants to do in a field that he enjoys.</p>
<p>My son has decided not to return to his freshman year school, one of the Colleges That Change Lives. The main reason is that he was unhappy socially. Small school, small city, not a lot to do. He’s a big sports fan, but found that he didn’t like living with jocks in the dorm (no offense intended to any parent with a student/athlete). Most of the school social life centers around drinking and smoking dope. He tried getting involved with theatre crew, which was his main interest in high school, but found the other kids very unwelcoming to a non-theatre major. </p>
<p>He is in good academic standing (no probation or such). Unfortunately, he thought his grades were going to be higher for Spring semester than they turned out to be (and lower than Fall semester). I think if he’d done better academically, he would have toughed it out to see if the social aspects improved in sophomore year. He was planning on rooming with the same boy as freshman year; they got along well. </p>
<p>He has decided to attend our local community college for next school year, with hopes of transferring to our state flagship campus in Fall 2011. He will have to pick his grades up significantly to do so.</p>
<p>He is also very undecided about what he wants to major in. </p>
<p>So he’s a kid very much in flux.</p>
<p>DS had a great first semester at Whitman. He added some new activities second semester and ran in to time management issues, but there were no major problems and it was a good time to learn some lessons in setting priorities.</p>
<p>Bronchitis, 2 sinus infections, strep throat and mono! How that kid made the Dean’s List I’ll never know. No wonder he didn’t think college was much fun.
Dorm life is huge at his school and he loves the atmosphere, but I think community living is killing him!</p>
<p>My son has completed his junior year at Virginia Commonwealth U. During his freshmen year, he had difficulties adjusting to his roommate but, rather than work with a resident advisor, he shrugged it off and plowed through his first year. He also did not embrace the urban environment of Richmond either. The homeless alcoholics and street crime took awhile to get used to.</p>
<p>On the other hand, he loved, loved, loved his classes and professors. He did better academically than he ever did in high school. He would call us every week to tell what he was doing in organic chemistry lab. He was that excited by it! </p>
<p>The summer after freshmen year, he came back a more responsible, mature young man. He helped around the house and yard without us asking him. He was much kinder to his younger sister. And he definitely appreciated my cooking more! </p>
<p>And we noticed that he was more intellectually engaged. Every week during the summer, he would trot off to the library or to Barnes&Noble to get a book on economics or history. (He is not majoring in either of these subjects.) He read the NYTimes thoroughly daily.
During high school, he only read computer gaming magazines and MAD magazine, so this was quite a change for him!</p>
<p>Craptacular…my favorite new word! missypie: you and I are on the same page there. If no one is in jail or dead I consider it a success…
My youngest D just finished year one at University of the Pacific. Overall a decent year but not amazing. She did well academically, helped charter a professional fraternity in her field, made a small group of friends, did some minimal volunteer work. She can already tell that her school is going to feel very small soon and is taking a summer class to get ahead with the hopes of going abroad second semester sophomore year. Fingers crossed for that. I think it will be the thing to keep sophomore year from being the slump that it is known for.
What she wishes she had done differently: introduced herself to a bigger group of people and more males very early in the year. By the time they were six weeks in, most people already had a group. She had guy friends in HS and wishes she had worked toward some guy friends in college. The guys didn’t (big shocker) introduce themselves around and the girls didn’t take the initiative.</p>
<p>laketime:
ha! my daughter too! amazing how she made the deans list as well… 2 strep throats, 1 tonsilliits, and get this… talk about community living… the community acquired mrsa skin infection, most likely gotten at the gym, and thank goodness cleared up after anti biotics,felt like she was on antibiotics all year…and through all that still loves the school… but next year moving into an on campus apt.</p>
<p>to missypie and others having faced a disappointing freshman year…thanks for sharing in the midst of all the wonderful and somewhat self congratulatory happy posts…I think your perspective reminds us to keep our expectations as parents reasonable…honestly, it is an achievement to have them alive and without the cost of bailbonds, … I also appreciate the insider info on the potentially shaky beginnings and alternative approaches to encourage a stronger trajectory…nevertheless, we have to remember we have very, very little control over our children’s achievements and failures. It is neither to our credit or shame how our children do in university.</p>
<p>S is a senior and I was putting together scrapbooks of his school years for relatives coming for graduation…how we laughed that even at age 4 in British system school his teachers would say…“very creative, but not always happy to work in groups,…prefers solitary play…does not like to be in direct competition with classmates…does his best work alone…does not always play in house corner as intended” (hated playing “husband” to all the little girls in pre school)…refuses to sing in chorus…does not keep his personal belongings in order…is challenged in physical education with coordination skills…invariably gentle and polite and a pleasure to have in class…</p>
<p>He has grown to be an adult version of what his preschooler teachers described and others reiterated through the years…he is a disorganized, non competitive, easy going, avoids sports and sports events and singing, someday-artist who will do most of his creative work freelance and alone and will be a supporting and loving significant other to some lucky person but is unlikely to bring home a large paycheck or fix the faucet.</p>
<p>fineartsmom…I enjoyed your description of your son…gave me a good chuckle, esp the part about not being able to fix the faucet! My son also has not veered far from how his elementary/middle school teachers described him to me.</p>
<p>LOL…my husband is very “touchy”…I’ve always been sure that his kindergarden report card said, “needs to learn to keep hands to self.”</p>
<p>Overall My DD did very well. Her courses the first semester were extremely hard and she switched majors. She did very well the second semester and is looking forward to doing even better in the future.
She loves the college and made some great friends- including a nice boyfriend. But they live 6 hours away so we’ll see what the summers brings.</p>
<p>Posters above made me chuckle regarding the kindergarten reports. I’ve always said there was no reason to attend parent-teacher conferences after 1st grade. They all said the same thing for the next 15 years…although the vein of the comments was different for each of the 3 kids.</p>
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<p>The reason is so the teachers can meet the parents…and then think, “Oh, that explains a lot.”</p>
<p>lol, yep after a conference with me, teachers prob. had no prob. understanding why S1 was voted “most talkative” for two years in a row in the middle school superlatives section of the yearbook.</p>
<p>I’ll always remember one parents night when one of our kids was in about 4th grade. A parent raised his hand and asked a question on something the teacher had JUST covered. I’m sure the teacher knew where his kid got it.</p>
<p>Lol, my kindergarten teacher wrote “often seems to live in a world of her own” and my kids accuse me constantly of having “selective attention disorder”! I remind them that it’s hereditary and that’s why I don’t nag…I just assume they didn’t hear me the first 5 times I asked them to mow the lawn and clean the house!</p>