<p>While I was backstage yesterday, preparing for an opening night, another actress started talking about how she had visited Harvard, and Harvard's dining hall looks like Hogwarts. </p>
<p>I asked whether her son had applied there, and she said he did, but he "didn't get in because they accepted an Indian student and a black student."</p>
<p>I was appalled by her statement that implied that her son didn't get in because he is white. I'm also a black Harvard grad, though no one in the cast knows that I went to Harvard, and in the past, I have chaired the local Harvard alum interviewing committee.</p>
<p>Without revealing my alum status, I told her that Harvard takes students of all races, typically one or two from our area, and lots of times -- in fact the majority of times -- the students it takes from our area are white.</p>
<p>But I am wondering if I should have said more. It ticks me off that an intelligent person who probably never would consider herself racist -- would be assuming that the only reason that her son didn't get accepted to Harvard was because Harvard only would accept people of color. No matter how terrific her son is (and I've heard nothing remarkable about him except high stats), it's hard for anyone to stand out in admissions for the most competitive school in the country.</p>
<p>My initial reaction was the same as yours-my eyes popped and my mouth fell–I wanted to shout out at the screen-“Who are these people?!”.
Northstarmom, you were more than gracious in your reply.</p>
<p>I wonder if it has since crossed her mind to wonder how I know so much about what Harvard’s dining hall looks like and about its admissions process. Since she think Harvard accepts only people of color, seems she could connect the dots and realize I’m a grad.</p>
<p>It would have been funny if you had just laughed lightly and said something like “haha, yeah I know that feeling”. Maybe it would have made her think a bit, coming from you.</p>
<p>Depends on what I might want from the relationship. If I wanted to express my feelings I might say the comment was hurtful. If I wanted to talk about Harvard and college I might tell her about my background and ask more about how she and her son are handling it. If I wanted her to like me I’d probably empathize, tell her it’s hard when you feel that there’s been discrimination against you.</p>
<p>You could have said something along the lines of “Wow, I sure hope nobody said that about me when I was accepted there.” At the very least it might make her think twice before she says something so ignorant.</p>
<p>Isn’t that terrible, NSM? You handled it with grace and class, in my opinion. I did not when a woman at my son’s school bitterly complained to me that her son did not make the cut for Regis because he was not black or poor, or from a challenging environment, and they had already accepted their quota from our school.</p>
<p>Regis does not have a quota. I have seen 0-4 kids accepted from given schools, some quite small. Yes, those who are in need or first generation American are given some preference in line with their mission statement. However, as with Harvard, most of the applicants from our well to do area tend to be white, from upper middle class, supportive families. And the acceptees fit that profile for the most part. </p>
<p>Only one boy was chosen this year. An outstanding student, very well spoken, president of student council, white, an only child with educator parents, not in need and this foolish woman was spouting this nonsense. It’s a waste of time to try to have some of these folks see reality. I was fool enough to try.</p>
<p>I don’t know what kind of Indian. I suspect subcontinent Indian as there aren’t many Native Americans where I live. I suspect she was referring to a person from her son’s high school who was on the USAMO team. Gosh, I think that person got into Harvard because she was one of the nation’s top math students, not because of her race.</p>
<p>I would have said, “I’m sure they must have been excellent students.”</p>
<p>The woman’s comment was immature and was her way of rationalizing her son’s rejection. It is true that race is a “factor” in admissions for nearly all colleges in America, but there is no way she could have known that the admitted students’ race was what gave them an edge over her son. It was racist for her to assume so.</p>
<p>URM status does play a role in admissions to certain schools. What should one say when a statement like that is made when the situation is such that being URM was very likely to be hook, strong tip for admissions, in that kids with better academic profiles were not admitted? I have seen that situation, as well, one that really caused a furor here, because it was so blatant.</p>
<p>NSM, I’m white so I really can’t put myself into your shoes; however, I loathe the “Affirmative Action resentment syndrome” which has been stoked by a generation of right-wing politicians and radio talkers. You’re right, it is racisim which seems to be cloaked in fact – that’s what makes it acceptable to say. Only trouble is, the “fact” simply isn’t true. Are you old enough to remember Ronald Reagan’s “welfare queen”? Completely fabricated. But she has served her purpose well; most of America believes the lie.</p>
<p>During my D’s senior year, a number of people confidently informed me that she probably wouldn’t be accepted at any decent college because “her” spot would be stolen by an undeserving black kid. I was happy to burst their bubble with some actual information (which they didn’t believe BTW; such is the power of propoganda). </p>
<p>But FWIW, there was a study done a few years back which might be useful if you run into this sort of ignorance again. It found that at the elite schools, most of the unqualified admits are* NOT *AA kids, but rather the children of privilege:</p>
<p>I always finished with: “So you’re right. Her spot may well be stolen by someone who’s far less qualified, but chances are that kid will be rich and white, not poor and black.” That always shut them up. :)</p>
<p>Sounds like sour grapes to me; some people either don’t want to accept the fact that their precious child didn’t make the cut or they don’t have any clue about the uber competitiveness of a school like Harvard.</p>
<p>You handled it with grace; I’m not sure I would have.</p>
<p>“URM status does play a role in admissions to certain schools. What should one say when a statement like that is made when the situation is such that being URM was very likely to be hook, strong tip for admissions, in that kids with better academic profiles were not admitted? I have seen that situation, as well, one that really caused a furor here, because it was so blatant.”</p>
<p>I’d say something like “colleges want diversity of all kinds, and that may mean that factors like state of residence, income, legacy race, athletic ability-- tip someone in for admissions.”</p>
<p>I might add, “It’s funny how the only time I hear people complaining about such tips are when it appears race is involved. Do you have any thoughts about why that’s the case?”</p>
<p>I think that one of the most difficult things for very bright people of color is that many white folks just assume because of years of affirmative action that anyone who isn’t white got some kind of special treatment. One of my colleagues, who happens to be AA, has twins who are now in college. She tells me all kinds of things that people say to them. Both of them earned dandy scholarships and they are bright kids, but both have had people make snarky comments implying that their skin tone got them where they are.</p>
<p>To take the other side, NSM, I think white people make those comments ALL the time; they usually don’t make them to non-white people. </p>
<p>I was slammed on here once for making a comment about how many white kid spots there were at a certain Ivy league college. I did not think that a non-white, athlete, legacy, other hook student had somehow taken my child’s spot, but I did realize that the school wanted a diverse (define that how you like) student body and that my child would not fill that requirement in any way.</p>
<p>“I think that one of the most difficult things for very bright people of color is that many white folks just assume because of years of affirmative action that anyone who isn’t white got some kind of special treatment.”</p>
<p>While part of this belief is due to affirmative action, the other part is due to the centuries of racism that led people to believe that people of color – particularly blacks, Native Americans and Hispanics – were congenitally stupid and white people were congenitally intellectually superior.</p>
<p>I remember reading a “Book of Knowledge” from about 1920 that had pictures of skulls a white person, a black person and an Asian person, and claimed that based on the average skull sizes, people who were white were smarter than black people or Asians.</p>
<p>It continues to be of interest to me that I have never heard a white person talk about how whites --especially males – who got into college and got decent in the old days were not deserving of being there because they took the places of more qualified people of color and women of all colors.</p>
<p>I have never met a white person who attended a segregated university who felt unworthy because of taking a place that a more qualified person of color could have had. Somehow, this never seems to cross white people’s minds.</p>