<p>Just found out that my HS senior -- since pulling off a coup and getting into some very reachy schools in the fall --- basically checked out of doing his assignments from late Jan until March (in his harder classes). He's getting an F for the marking period in AP Eng (since he 'forgot' to do a 100 point assignment) & didn't turn in a single AP calculus homework. He's getting Bs & a C in other classes.</p>
<p>This is really disheartening on multiple levels (he lied about doing his work, consciously made the choice not to bother with assignments).</p>
<p>I'm worried 1) he doesn't have the drive/concern for consistent quality and ability to 'do things you don't want to do' to thrive in the big, state schools to which he's been accepted and 2) he has a utilitarian approach to education ("I've got what I wanted w/my education [e.g. acceptance and merit $ at nice schools] so why should I bother learning?").</p>
<p>Despite my hours spent on CC for the past few years (finding schools where he'd have a geographic tip, having him apply early to get that advantage, etc.) I'm seriously thinking maybe he should do community college for 2 years, then transfer to a school in our city (well regarded, not nationally known).</p>
<p>I'm also now incredibly hesitant to go into any kind of debt for education, if he can be derailed so easily from any academic goals....</p>
<p>Then again, I've heard senioritis is not an unknown phenomena. Wondered if anyone else had experience w/this, and/or thoughts on how much to weigh it? (son is right now making up his previously undone homeworks).</p>
<p>Schools could rescind their acceptances, especially with an F. You may not have to do anything. He may end up going to a community college. I am not trying to be funny here.</p>
<p>I would encourage you to tell him all the things you just told us. That maybe CC would be a better choice, that you are having reservations about putting front the $$$ etc. Maybe that’s the stuff he needs to hear - that not only is HE showing doubt in his “committment” but that you are starting to question your committment.</p>
<p>Thanks. Believe me, I did tell him, everything. I was angry, then calmed down and told him my concerns (as above). </p>
<p>He assures me that since he got a B/C first 2 marking periods in AP English and still has 4th marking period & final (it counts as 1/5 of grade) to go, he’ll overcome the 3rd period F and end up with a C or so. Doesn’t address the larger concerns, though.</p>
<p>His ‘end story’ – “I work hard on things I like.” Not super repentant. I tried to explain that everyone has to do things they ‘don’t like’ in life/their jobs but it didn’t seem to compute. Disheartening.</p>
<p>JS - his GC will send in his final transcript to the school he is going. He won’t be able to hide his grades . His acceptance is contingent on him keeping up his level of performance. I would contact schools he has been accepted to, make sure they will not rescind their acceptances.</p>
<p>Thanks, oldfort. My understanding is that our HS sends the final grade on transcripts, not the marking period grades (I think they did that w/the other transcirpts, for admission). At this point, I’m ready to let the chips fall where they may. </p>
<p>He’s pulled himself from out behind the 8 ball before (earned a final D in 2 classes his sophmore year – then, because of near straight As junior year & high test scores, managed to get into 2 schools in the top 10 in the country for his major). </p>
<p>Just seeing this now (after living through it sophmore year) makes it seem more like a pattern – and junior year an anomoly – than an ordinary case of senioritis. </p>
<p>Thanks though. Maybe when I scrape myself off the floor I’ll get the wherewithall to call his colleges in a few days. Although, thinking maybe he should do it, actually.</p>
<p>JS - may I suggest something…Your son seem like a very smart kid, but may only do the minimum to get what he wants. Before he goes off to college, you may want to set up a contract with him - for you to continue to support him, he must maintain X GPA, if he should fall below agreed GPA he will need to pay for the following semester, until he gets agreed GPA again.</p>
<p>Thanks, oldfort. I was really, really hoping I wouldn’t have to do micro-management in college. I think one reason his grades skyrocketed in junior year (in addition to finding a strong, academic interest) was that we could monitor every school assignment via the school computer (“why did you get a 7 out of 10 on that quiz?”). </p>
<p>I got busy job-hunting over the past few months and didn’t check his grades online (until the recent shock). </p>
<p>It’s just like – when does it end? Calling his apt to see if he woke up for the first day of his internship/job? (shudder). </p>
<p>Plus, I wondered if on some level, the micro-management was taking away the personal initiative/autonomy (though there seemed few other options).</p>
<p>But, now that you mention it (& I’ve thought about it) maybe such a contract would really be the only way we could ever take on the risk of significant loans for his school. </p>
<p>Again, appreciate the idea. Little thread of hope, there…</p>
<p>He may think he can pull this off (i.e. not end up with a D or F and face possibly being rescinded) but he’s walking the edge and to what end? That would be one of my questions to him. The other would be along the lines of what exactly he think he’ll do once in college when he’s enabled to succeed but also to fail. It’ll be up to him at that point to decide his path. Actually, he’s already making important decisions now in not doing his work whether he realizes the potential impact or not.</p>
<p>Not to excuse the lack of effort (believe me, I live it here too), but your S may be burnt out from his junior year. He has two marking periods to improve his grades, and he can certainly make a big improvement. Maybe he needs to feel a touch of panic about what <em>could</em> happen regarding rescinding offers?</p>
<p>I totally agree with the contract idea. We are definitely going to do that for our S. </p>
<p>Hang in there…these boys are or soon will be adults and they’ll soon learn that life throws all kinds of consequences, most worse than what they’ve received from their parents.</p>
<p>Exactly my concerns, uscd<em>ucla</em>dad. What’s the underlying mind-set that would allow one to make the conscious choice to blow off a 100 point assignment, thus guaranteeing an F for the marking period or chose to not do 6 calculus homework assignments (guaranteeing a C or D)? And, further, whatever the mindset (he’s not telling, I think, just covering himself with various excuses) – is that the sort of cost-benefit analysis that would bode well for success in college?</p>
<p>I also don’t want to bring it too much back to $$ but, really, should we be co-signing for (big) loans for someone who can’t even bother to do their HS homework? </p>
<p>The thing is, I would co-sign for them … just don’t want it to be a futile endeavor.</p>
<p>Edit – saw your post, cpeltz, and thanks for the encouragement. The thing–son was not burnt out from junior year; not one whit. For whatever reason (maybe lack of rigor in HS cirriculum, despite honors/AP classes) he studied some, but never more than 1 or 2 hours (before a test) and got As. There has never, ever been a kid burning the midnight oil in our house, at the books. Which makes me all the more worried about success at college (with no monitoring, and increased rigor of classwork). Thanks again, though; do appreciate it.</p>
<p>I understand about your S’s lack of effort and the “luck” of the good junior grades, and am sorry you’re having to deal with this after all the great success in the application process. My S had his lowest grades of HS in his first semester of senior year and has already paid the price for that. I hope for your S that the fear of being rescinded shakes him up a little, and I wouldn’t underestimate the stress he may have felt with the application process, essays, etc.</p>
<p>That said, when S got his last report card, we definitely told him there would be no college loans. We don’t qualify for FA, but his grades indicated to us that he wasn’t taking it seriously, and we would not cosign for any loans so he could attend a school that he “liked” more than one we could afford. I’m not sure we would have taken such a firm stance if he’d worked his b**t off.</p>
<p>What does your school send out on its transcript? At my school only the grades for the whole year were sent. You could do whatever you wanted second semester and be fine.</p>
<p>Second semester senior year is when there’s no marginal difference between a C and an A (face it, most of us aren’t terribly interested in learning). Makes for a very relaxing few months, provided you operate on the base assumption you then get back to work, quite seriously, in college.</p>
<p>Senioritis is common. Many kids have it. I had it and survived. He does need to make sure he doesn’t get his admission rescinded. </p>
<p>Your son has an interesting choice to make. He has a full ride to Alabama, and a wonderful mom who is willing to go into debt to send him to a world class research institution with a much stronger technology culture with first rate opportunities. I like the contract idea. Let him know it’s “strictly business, not personal” - you love him no matter what, but you can’t afford to waste the investment. [The Godfather is one of my favorite movies]. You agree to cut off paying if he’s not pulling his weight. I wouldn’t get specific about GPAs because you don’t know how hard it is even with solid effort, but I think C’s in courses in the major are a warning sign, and D and F’s in courses in the major should set off major alarms. He really ought to be going for A’s developing his capabilities. No deception allowed. His childhood ends now. He bears the burden of taking the risk of foregoing the full ride. He needs to take this opportunity seriously and professionally. </p>
<p>If he can’t make that commitment, then he should take the free ride to Alabama and settle for the lesser opportunity. It’s not a bad opportunity, but certainly a lesser one. He needs to view this as his first real business decision. If he himself believes that he has the drive, then it’s an easy call, he should go for the better opportunity. If he feels that he’s unsteady and can’t handle the pressure, then he should take the free ride and sow his oats and screw around on somebody else’s nickel. Strictly business, not personal. </p>
<p>I think that it’s a decision that he alone can make. I hope he chooses the better opportunity. You can lead a horse to water.</p>
<p>What happens if he loses his scholarships because he decides that certain courses aren’t important to him? Yes, lots of kids get senioritis, my D included, but it’s still a really bad habit to get into! The kids who find the motivation to push through it and do the work anyway are displaying a level of maturity that will go a long way toward helping them make the adjustment to college. I’d be very concerned about the deceptive tactics he’s employed this semester. In my family, dishonesty is never tolerated and is one of the few things that merits heavy-duty punishment.<br>
I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this! Knowing how boys love to tune out their moms at this age, is there a dad/uncle/older cousin who could spend a day with him and get inside his head?</p>
<p>Having gone through this 3 times with my knuckleheads, you all have my sympathies. Most of the kids survive. One good thing is that the grades furnished to the college are usually the whole year average, so they won’t see the direct downslide from first term to second. Do be aware of the hard rules that your student’s acceptance and scholarships have if there are any. Also keep in mind that disciplinary issues are an even bigger problem as the kids get close to graduation. You can lose your acceptance or have it deferred if you get into certain types of trouble. You can also not get your diploma from your high school under certain circumstances. I see a lot of moms praying that last term of high school.</p>