<p>Don’t count on only his grades for the entire year showing. Check with your school to find out what they send. Here, they send the final transcript which shows grades by semester.</p>
<p>Grades by semester is what goes out from here also. Never heard of averaging the years work.</p>
<p>JS…sorry for this hiccup! 
Hope you can get things worked out with S! (((Hugs))</p>
<p>I can sympathize too - my son isn’t a senior yet, but this problem your son is having has the same flavor to it as some of my son’s struggles, so I’m just going to share a couple thoughts - you may or may not agree!</p>
<p>First, the lying is a big deal. I think lying should bring actual, tangible consequences, along with a heart to heart talk about how easy it is to build a reputation of being someone who tells lies when it’s easy than telling the truth (for example, avoid a lecture form mom!), and how hard it is to have to re-create trust when you’ve broken it. The talk lets him hear why you think it’s important, but the tangible consequences help it sink into his teenage brain that lying isn’t necessarily the easiest way out - not if you get caught.</p>
<p>Secondly - and this is where I struggle too - if he’s 6 months away from moving away from home and doing college on his own, this really is his problem, not yours. For me at least, I’ve decided that my job in a problem like this is to make time to sit down and talk without distractions and put the facts out and help brainstorm strategies - shine some sunshine on the issues and not allow him to live in denial. It sounds like one way he likes to deal with problems is to avoid dealing with it (not unusual!). I think you can and should force him to face the facts and create a plan - he’s too young to be left on his own to flounder. But it really does come down to - “Son, here are your opportunities, you need to decide to grab them or not.” </p>
<p>I guess I’m saying that if your main goal is to try to get him into that better college, you can call admissions, try to nag him to get those grades back up, etc. But if your goal is to raise this kid into someone who can make it without you, then maybe your main tasks are to force him to face it (have a conversation, analyze how this may affect his acceptances, etc.), and brainstorm with him - but the work from here on out is his. </p>
<p>Is it possible he’s intimidated by the idea of going to one of the better schools you’ve helped him get into? He may know (in some undefined, foggy way) that he doesn’t have good time management or good discipline toward his work. He may not tell you that (he may not even have articulated it to himself that way), but if you suspect that’s the case, maybe you can help him with that. Have a frank conversation with him, asking him if he’s worried about how his work ethic will do in college. It sounds like he’s been flying by the seat of his pants in school for years, and he may be a little nervous about the idea that that’s not going to cut it at college. I think it’s a common problem for bright, unconventional kids in school these days, but that’s a whole other long winded post!</p>
<p>He sounds a lot like my S, too. S has been blowing off assignments, and I think it’s partially because he really doesn’t want to leave high school. Sorry, kid, all you have to do is pass English 12 and you get the diploma–but I’m not going to tell him that because he’s already had a D in there at one point but brought it up to a C+ by the end of the marking period. We had the same problem with him in sixth grade when he was afraid to go to middle school.</p>
<p>Jolynne - Is there any chance your S is reluctant to leave high school or uneasy about being out on his own?</p>
<p>We were warned that some schools recind their acceptance for too much slack in 2nd semester.</p>
<p>Thank you all so much for the support, encouragement and insights. It means a lot!</p>
<p>Just to address–no, I don’t think son is depresssed; to the contrary, he’s having the time of his life, tons of friends have been over at our house every weekend, he’s going to concerts, having a great time (or, has been, till now). Honestly, I don’t think he’s even conscious that (possibly) getting a lot of nice college acceptances this fall has potentially boosted his confidence and made him more magnetic, socially. Although I could be speculating on that. It’s not like his friends are all slackers, either – some plan on med school, etc. I try to say: you can achieve & be social. Not sure if that computes.</p>
<p>He’s articulated that he does, in fact, want to go away to college and seems genuinely enthusiastic about it. Did seem taken aback by the talk of ‘being rescinded’ and in 3 1/2 hours last night, banged out 6 weeks worth of back AP calculus assignments. If this kid works even a little he does well. Apparently sometimes ‘even a little’ is too much. </p>
<p>As mentioned, the lying is big (though I can understand the why of it - avoidance) – it’s more of an issue to my husband, whom I hope will talk to him about that today (since I’ve been on the frontlines till now w/it, and the schoolwork blow-off has been my biggest concern).</p>
<p>ClassicRockerDad–I will take your approach, once we get past the angst and sadness of the immediate reaction to this situation. I like the ‘sitting down and talking business’ approach. Very clear and a way to view this situation coherently. In some ways though, I worry that he’d take the free ride to AL, and thus have a less academic environment, be pushed less intellectually and professionally (even though he’s in the honors program).</p>
<p>But, I don’t think we could go wrong w/a contract making grade performance contingent upon satisfactory grade production. If he’s not rescinded, I’ll feel a lot better w/that as an option!</p>
<p>Again, thanks to all for the thoughtful and nuanced responses.</p>
<p>For my S NOT getting into his top school after working really hard and receiving excellent grades/scores, etc. put him into a bit of a tailspin (he goes to a private school and received an F in religion). His grades in AP Calc and Ap American Govt. slipped, too.</p>
<p>I know the UC that he’s going to attend in the fall states clearly that he needs to have a 3.0 gpa and not get a D or F in any of the A-G classes.</p>
<p>The whole thing threw me for a loop because I never had to monitor his homework. Once he started high school he did what he had to do!</p>
<p>I know he’ll bring the grades up, but I sometimes wonder “What were you thinking!” (when he decided NOT to do the homework!)</p>
<p>Thanks for posting about your situation. Our 8th grade son sounds like yours. At the beginning of the school year, we checked his grades on the computer often and micro-managed everything for him. When we felt like he was doing well, we let up the pressure. Well, guess what - I checked about a month ago and his grades were horrible - a D- in math! He was just not turning in work. He still doesn’t get the concept that a couple of zeros are hard to make up!</p>
<p>So now we’re micro-managing again, and his lowest grade is an A-! Sheesh. He’s such a bright kid. My SIL says we should pull back, but that doesn’t feel right. </p>
<p>I had senioritis pretty badly, also, but managed to keep my grades up. There is sure a lot of pressure to goof off, though! I hope your son can pull it out. I like the idea of a contract with all the specifics clearly spelled out.</p>
<p>It’s downright funny to see so many parents having problems similar to what my wife and I have been experiencing with our son. Notice they are all boys. They are exhibiting Tom Sawyer aversion to school work even as HS seniors. I think we just have to keep on doing what we’re doing, as we wait for their brain development to finish. We’re hoping that will be accomplished sometime in the summer for ours.</p>
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<p>Just my opinion, but if he’s not ready to get serious, it’s a road with a lot less risk and potentially less opportunity - Not a bad road either mind you, just not the most direct path to the cutting edge. The people around him generally won’t have quite the same standard of excellence. Recruiters and graduate schools won’t expect to see the same standard of excellence, etc. His stock can still rise, it’s just at a different speed. You are putting a lot on the line to have him go to the better school, but HE has to want it because doing really well is likely to involve significant pain on his part in the face of many distractions (some very attractive distractions, I’m sure). No doubt that he can do it. Does he want to do it. From this moment, he’s an adult. HE really needs to understand that it is expensive and thus carries the additional responsibility to take it seriously. There are many paths to a productive future. If he’s not there maturity wise, that free ride looks pretty darn attractive. I’ve read on this board before that you have to love “the kid on the couch”. Alabama could be the right decision. You’ve done more than can be expected find the best opportunities. He’s done a really good job putting himself in a position to get those opportunities. Only HE can decide that he has the fortitude to take the harder higher reward path. You need let him know that you love him either way. </p>
<p>I would be a little forgiving on the senioritis. It sounds like you’ve scared him pretty good and that he can recover without getting rescinded. The bigger more serious decision is this month. He should make it carefully and seriously. Good luck either way.</p>
<p>senioritis is a real phenomenon. These kids are so stressed at school so by senior year, after apps are in, they coast. My son slipped in two of his AP classes and blew off the tests. Now at the University of Chicago, he’s ****ed because higher scores in 2 of his APs would have meant fulfilling more requirements and given him more opportunity to explore various classes or take only 3 classes for one or two quarters. It’s part of the learning process. BTW, the reason they are so stressed is because we expect them to do well and competition is incredibly high right now.</p>
<p>Definitely make him sign off access to his grades, wherever he goes.</p>
<p>My sympathies on this latest challenge.</p>
<p>Thanks again, for all the thoughtful responses. </p>
<p>To be honest, I’m actually printing them out for husband to have some food for thought when we sit down and discuss this (rationally, I hope!) before talking with son.</p>
<p>We need a game plan, to present a united front. As is, hub lets me handle it, then Monday-morning-quarterbacks what I should have said/done instead. (sigh).</p>
<p>This will work out. Again, appreciate the support. </p>
<p>PS drdom–son was not even close to toast by senior year; barely even browned. He got As/Bs in all his classes 1st semest and literally, I hardly ever saw him open a book at home (did it all – including AP calc & AP Eng, in study hall or at the end of class in school). Hung out w/friends after school. So the ‘he’s worked so hard until now’ concept doesn’t quite fly, here in our house. Thanks, though!</p>
<p>Just got to say…ClassicRockerDad, great words of wisdom!</p>
<p>Just for support -</p>
<p>I’m a student at an LAC and my senior year of HS, I blew off my classes. I was very, very, very lucky not to get rescinded, and I was a lot like your son - told my parents HW was done, etc etc. I ended up going to college and really “growing up” so to speak and I’ve been on the dean’s list for the past three semesters, and am working my butt off to keep an A average (so much so that I’m probably going to pull an all nighter tonight!)</p>
<p>For some kids, it just takes some more time, but at least for me, I got there. Just remember, there’s probably light at the end of the tunnel!</p>
<p>Thanks, luckycharmed! Did your parents inquire about your grades in college? Or just let you do your thing? Wondering what a college student’s reaction to a ‘grade contract’ would be. Given son’s past history, though, don’t think I can gamble that he’ll suddenly do everything perfectly, once in college; probably will do a contract.</p>
<p>I had one who had a similar HS history (I don’t consider this senioritis but rather a bad pattern since it has happened before). You are right to be concerned, professors don’t just let you make up work when you feel like it. After an initial great start for my S, the pattern reemerged in college and a lot of money was wasted on lost credits.:mad: I thank God we didn’t have to go into debt to finance his missteps. He wound up taking some time off to grow up, then transferring and just graduated with honors in December.
If we had it to do over again, we would have pulled the plug sooner, after the first subpar semester and we would have had a grade contract. Growth has to come from within and all the micromanaging in the world won’t speed up the process, in fact it may hinder emotional growth.</p>
<p>Considering your S’s past behavior and his current concern about making his final decision based on atmosphere (great weather and music scene), I would be very hesitant to compromise the family’s finances to fund an expensive school if there are other more reasonable choices that meet his needs, on the table. He may do just fine when he gets to college but has he earned the right to ask the family to take this risk? Only you and your H know your S and his personality. Believe in him with your heart, but don’t discount the little voice in your head. We want to give our kids everything but sometimes it’s just not in their best interest. Good luck, I know this is tough.</p>
<p>Thank you, my-3-sons. Appreciate the personal experience you shared (& glad things ultimately worked out for your son). The thing–drop in son’s HS grades (happened before) seems to corrolate w/an uptick in social life. Not sure if they are related. But–envisioning college w/the possibility of non-stop parties, thousands of kids (including attractive girls!) and it’s making me more than a little nervous.</p>
<p>Just wondering how much we should gamble on a contract. This will take some hard thinking and discussing. Hoping son & I & husband can go out to dinner to discuss it (public place = no yelling. lol).</p>
<p>Thanks again.</p>
<p>I think it’s worth a gamble for you. You only have to pay one semester at a time. If he’s going to crash and burn, it’s not likely to take him 3 years to do it. There is big upside and he seems to have the natural ability. He’s the one really gambling, because he would be giving up the scholarship. I think he’s the one at risk, not you. It’s actually not that big a risk for him either because if he screws up in Alabama, he could lose that scholarship too. He just probably wouldn’t be challenged to his capacity at Alabama like he could be at Texas and thus could have a bigger margin of error there. At the end of the day, he has to find the internal motivation to be really successful.</p>