<p>Is it jusy my DD or all other teenages do this to their parents too?</p>
<p>DD has an important SAT II (Math II) this Saturday. She said she will study for this one since her best friend, who typically do better than D in math, did not do well. And she know this is a required test score for the school she want to go the most. So, about two weeks ago I started to remind her of the test day. Nothing happened. </p>
<p>This week, she signed up as set up crew team for school's fall play. Every single day she stayed at school until like 9 PM. Home works, dinner and chat on line etc took her all the way to 11 PM or so every night. </p>
<p>On the high ground, what she is doing may be good. While most other seniors are busy preparing for their test and school needs help to set up the play. So D jump in big time. But, when Adm saw the low scores, they will not know that she spent all these time doing needed services to the school. If two kids from the same school is fighting over one admission spot, everything else been equal, they may take that 800 kid. </p>
<p>The test is only two days from now, why can't D has just a little common sense to at least do a couple practice tests. This drives me nuts but I can't do any thing about it.</p>
<p>It is not like this has not happened before. Before her SAT I, she did the samething and did not study at all even with my begging. She got such a low score that I have yet to tell one single person. </p>
<p>She did get a couple of decent SAT II scores. Because she took those right after AP classes so she was ready. She knows all this. But why?</p>
<p>
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On the high ground, what she is doing may be good. ... school needs help to set up the play. So D jump in big time.
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I have always told my S (who is a great person, great student, but NOT a good standardized test scorer) that acing a test is not an important life skill. Other skills he has shown (resilience, not caving under pressure,....) and that your D is showing (jumping in big time where needed) ARE important life skills.</p>
<p>And I want him to know how much I value that in him. And how well it will serve him when he gets beyond the paper-and-pencil test-taking part of life. I know you know this too and I'll bet you've conveyed it to your daughter. If not, I hope you will.</p>
<p>I also know that this doesn't accomplish squat in your worries about how she'll do on the danged test. Maybe she'll do great without studying. Maybe it'll mean she ends up at a school where a 750-800 is not de rigeur. Maybe that's what the universe has in store for her.</p>
<p>I'd be anxious in your shoes as well. Don't get me wrong. But sometimes we parents have to let them set their own priorities and let those priorities take them where they will. It's not as though her priorities are out of whack. Not at all.</p>
<p>If we could let teenages set their own priorities, why don't we let them vote, among other things?</p>
<p>Don't get me wrong, I always encourage her to be a "good" person and do "right" things. But she needs to know when to do what. Now is not the time!!!</p>
<p>Ace a test is not an important life skill? Tell me where could a "great" person with a 2.0 GPA could go and keep a merit aid?</p>
<p>Maybe some perspective will help. What's the worst that could happen? Even if she does not do well on the test, she is not likely to be roundly rejected from colleges. So she'll end up in a slightly less prestigious program. So what? If she has a balanced list and she would be happy with any of them (that's the most important point of a college list), she'll be fine no matter what. It isn't as if she's letting her grades drop significantly.</p>
<p>Teenagers do need to set their own priorities about these things. Learning to set priorities is a long, gradual path, not something that automatically happens when they turn 18. As you've no doubt realized by now, your pushing her about the test makes not one whit of difference. That's OK - your priorities don't have to be the same as hers. This is difficult for parents to realize, but it is essential for kids that go on to become successful, happy adults.</p>
<p>The test is not that important. Let it go. You'll both feel better.</p>
<p>^^^^ I second DSP, post #5 and what jnmom said. especially since this is the SATII. Most schools that my girls and I have researched don't require them. Those that do only ask for 2 and you said she already has done well on a couple of SATII tests. </p>
<p>Since you say her SATs were so low, that seems to be where she should be putting in her prep time . Is she scheduled to retake them this fall? I wouldn't battle her over this next SATII but I would make it clear that I expect better preparation if she is retaking the SAT. Also if merit aid is required for her to attend the school she wants to, she needs to know that. She needs to know that if she doesn't fulfill her end of the financial bargain by making herself eligible then it may be a less pricey state school, community college or trade school for her.</p>
<p>Another suggestion, I have heard that the ACT is a "more friendly" test for many students and you may want to encourage her to take that instead of or in addition to a retake of the SAT.</p>
<p>My daighter is doing the same thing with her music and theatre ( and not her essays and SAT II's) . Oh well ( that's what I TRY to say to myself), I guess it shows "passion". And I guess it's a lesson for us all about what kind of setting to look for for a good "fit". And also, I think GPA's are not usually about test taking skills, but rahter about work ethic over time.</p>
<p>DadII: Hello????isn't this the same girl from the Vandy thread who you reflected got a 34 ACT and a 12 essay??? Give it a rest....She has an amazing standardized test score and most, if not all, schools take the ACT in lieu of the SAT II's...Even if not, her GPA, ACT and rank are all top notch...If she doesn't get in somewhere, it will not be because of testing......</p>
<p>Join the club, Dad II. My son refused to prepare for ANY of his SAT IIs. I bought him all the prep books (he said he wanted them) and they remained untouched. The experience of my family (son and niece) is that the Math II is very hard. Lots of kids on this forum disagree, but my niece got a horrible score on it and she took college calculus at Ursinus as a high school junior. (she didn't prepare either, I might add). Both niece and son are at excellent colleges, so don't worry too much.</p>
<p>Dear Dad II-
It's really hard for us as parents to watch our kids make choices that we don't agree with because of how those choices may impact them down the road. I've come to see this- letting them make choices- as one of the most important skills to learn as a parent. There simply is no other way for them to grow up. </p>
<p>Sometimes we'd rather they make the <em>right</em> decision, than grow up!!</p>
<p>We've all been there. You say ,"Now is not the time!" Actually, now is the perfect time. If her decisions have no consequences, there's little learning value. </p>
<p>My son used to drive me batty with similar behavior about testing. He's a pretty good test taker, but if he had put just a little time into practice beforehand, he most likely would have aced them. Instead, in his junior year he was involved in so many school and work related activities (all his choice) that he could have either kept up with his schoolwork and received the As that were hard to come by at his demanding private school, or he could have practiced for his college board tests. Taking time out from his "commitments," which is exactly how he viewed them, was not even a consideration.</p>
<p>He's still that kind of person - sets his own goals for himself based on what is important to him. He's one of the most responsible people I know. And one of the most content. </p>
<p>DeepSeek and the others are correct. The test is not nearly as important as you think it is, in the scheme of things. It seems your daughter has her priorities straight. Get with the program, Dad! :)</p>
<p>
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If we could let teenages set their own priorities
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The way I see it, the problem is not that we let our teenagers set their own priorities; it's that we have no choice. Even if you forced her to quit crew and locked her in her room, you couldn't force her to study. She'd still be unprepared, but angry and rebellious as well. And even if you were able to force her to study and learn the material, if she's anything like most kids I know, she'd go in and mess up the test on purpose.</p>
<p>So remember St. Francis - the part of "things I cannot change."</p>
<p>I couldn't get my son to study for his SAT II's either. Although he did well on math, he didn't do as well on the others (including Writing, since this was before the SAT I had an essay), and he didn't do well enough on his AP English Lit exam to get credit. That probably was the reason he was waitlisted at two of the colleges to which he applied. The good news: As it turns out, neither of those colleges would have been the best fit for him. He ended up at a college that didn't require top scores, but that is one of the best in the country for the major he is pursuing. The other colleges may have been more prestigious, but this one is the best for him.</p>
<p>So, I agree with the general opinion here. Let it go. Yes, it could limit her options to some extent. However, in the long run, it probably will be of very little importance.</p>
<p>I was in the same boat as you are, Dad II. Last spring my DD did not spend more than a couple of hours studying for the SAT Math IIC. She gets 630 on the test - an average score, not something that would impress Adcoms.</p>
<p>Her test scores (she was using Barron's) were reflective of that. In retrospect, I should have told her NOT TO TAKE THE TEST. Once I realized she is not ready, we should have rescheduled it for a later time. What is the point of taking something like Math IIC if you are not ready for it?? Once taken, you do not have an option not to report it.</p>
<p>Bottom line, my DD is taking it again this Sat. She's been studying pretty hard for the past couple of weeks. She is taking it more seriously this time, but my wife and I apply pressure as well. This entire situation could have been avoided with a little more prep last spring, but...</p>
<p>I think I have followed Dad II's story a little more carefully than some of the other posters. The problem is that daughter DOES care about getting into tippy top schools, and it has been a big struggle for Dad II to get her to include any schools that are not reaches for everybody. It seems to me that daughter has been unrealistic and uncooperative about the college quest, and that is the source of Dad's frustration. I feel your pain, Dad; I understand your point of view.</p>
<p>Nonetheless, I'd have to agree with the other posters that there isn't anything you can do about this situation. You can't force her to prepare, and you are past the point at which kids do things simply because their parents think they should.</p>
<p>Rodney brings up a good point, though: Does she need the SAT II Math score if she is reporting an ACT score instead of SAT I?</p>
<p>Try to remember all the reasons you love your daughter so much, and let it go. She will remember the great time she had on the crew for a long time to come.</p>
<p>My son made quite a few choices like this throughout his senior year. In the end, it all worked out, and he had a really really great senior year. No regrets.</p>
<p>These SAT II's are the most confusing for me. I really don't understand what they are supposed to measure if kids have to prepare so much. Right now, i choose to believe, they will be a reflection of how much my daughter knows about a subject, no more no less.</p>
<p>DADII: When your D's College Admissions Process is all over, I hope you are not bald. :D</p>
<p>PS...I don't quite get the significance of the SAT II when my understanding is that she may have an ACT already of approximately 34 which can be submitted in lieu of the SAT and SATII combination at most schools. </p>
<p>Also, you can explain the importance of X, Y, or Z vis a vis her college goals. If she has her heart set on certain schools, explain what it takes to be considered. Once you have told her what is needed, it is up to her if she wants to do it. If not, then she has to deal with it and whether or not her goals need readjusting or her college list needs more balance, etc. However, from all you have shared, your D's record is just fine and things are not riding on this particular score. You can ask her why she hasn't prepped and maybe she has a reason and is either ready or is not as concerned with the score as you are.</p>
<p>^I totally agree with Shrinkrap! And my kids, with some really, for CC, substandard SAT 2 scores, attended a top ten LAC and an Ivy (son at Ivy got 640 on math 2C).</p>
<p>bob's advice is good. Can she take it in November or December? </p>
<p>My son went to take the SAT II and realized that morning he didn't have his graphing calculator. He borrowed some girl's calculator, but it wasn't the graphing type. Between the angst of showing up and going around asking people if they had an extra calculator, and taking the test with a simple calculator, he didn't do as well as he should have. If it happened again, I would have just been a no show and taken the test the following month.</p>
<p>Shrinkrap, my son also didn't believe in cramming for his SATIIs - he felt they should show what he learned in those subjects. He took them in May of 10th (Bio) and 11th grade (Chem, MathII, US Hist), around the same time as his AP exams (he did some practice AP tests in those classes so that probably helped prepare him). I'm just glad I found out about SATIIs on CC (for his older sister) because their HS doesn't tell kids/parents & everyone scrambles to get them done in fall of senior yr.</p>
<p>Everyone, please read #14. Midmo, thank you so very much for understanding. The only two schools DD wants to get in is WashU or Cornell. I made her apply to Vandy and State U and she completed the applications in a matter of minutes. When I got out shower, she already submitted them using MW's credit card. </p>
<p>As you all know how hard is to get into WashU or Cornell. Even if she gets in, we will not be able afford the full COA of WashU. She will have to get need/merit aid. For that, test scores matter and Math IIC is required by Cornell. Knowing all these, she still refuses to do any practice. As of this minute, she is still at school doing whatever. The test is this Saturday and she has not open any book for one minutes. </p>
<p>I am pulling my hairs because her actions lack logics. If she could accept going to State U, I will be perfectly fine with that. </p>
<p>She wants to go to top schools but she does not seem to understand how small % a chance for any one to get in there, let alone to get any merit aid. It is not just this Math II. She is taking the ACT again and I don't think she will study for that one neither. </p>
<p>Bob26, I think I will just cancel the test for her. You are right, why take a test when she is not ready. Why take a chance to have a sub 700 score?</p>