I am confused about where to go

<p>My teachers, counselors, and parents are all giving me strange looks. My ASIAN parents' expressions, however, are very different because they are disappointed in me. I am sure I am not the first high school senior to be in this situation. I am proud that I got into UCSB, SD, Cal, Irvine, USC and Oxy. My teachers and counselors are very proud of me because I have made into these schools but my parents are disappointed because I am not making my decision based on US New's ranking. My peers wish to have my selections but are also daunted by the idea of not knowing which door is bigger, better, and the right one that does lead to hell.</p>

<p>I simply do not know where to go. Almost everybody, except my parents, tells me to visit these schools (I have not visited any of the schools that admitted me) and decide where I feel the most comfortable. My parents, again, are looking at the situation through ranking and prestige like so many other blind people. However, I find it really hard to believe that the school that I attend should be based on the atmosphere rather than the academics. As many would have guessed, my parents want me to attend UC Berkeley because it is famous.</p>

<p>My conversations with my parents have been very unpleasant. They constantly mention how poor of an education I will receive from UCSB and Occidental. What I am looking for, particularly, is a place where I can succeed, not fail. I think of myself as an incompetent student who is not confident at all. I know this is something I need to change but I am afraid that my mindset is going to lead me into making a horrible decision. I am scared of Cal's competition among the students and the number of students at each UC. CCS of UCSB and Occidental can provide me with a more personal atmosphere. Unlike Berkeley and UCSD, the social life can be very hectic with the pressure and rigorous classes. I am truly scared of not being able to achieve a high GPA and get into the graduate school of my choice! My parents constantly mention that I am more likely to acquire a job if I go to a more prestigious school. They also don't understand that each school has its own specialties. Although Berkeley is ranked higher than UCSD and UCSB, it does not mean that Berkeley is better in every single field. Then again, I am uncertain about my abilities and my interests. I have tried so hard in HS to get to where I am, am I willing to throw Berkeley away just because I am scared? Such question clutters my mind all the time.</p>

<p>I would also like to mention that I have received full scholarship to all of these schools, including Oxy, a $51000 package. I am currently on JHU's waitlist and still waiting to hear from Cornell & NYU. If I get accepted into more schools, I am going to be bald by May 1st. My parents have a great amount of influence because they helped me to reach this position. I got into Cal, USC, and Oxy as math majors but I hope to switch into engineering since math is becoming less and less attractive to me.</p>

<p>I only have one month left to make a decision and I am very scared and worried. I wish to see the whole picture through the eyes of my counselors and teachers, but I cannot stop myself from spattering my parents' thoughts over that picture. In the end, my mind does not have a clear view but a distorted image of hell... This is my life for the next four years. What do you think?</p>

<p>If your parents are willing to pay your expenses (I know you said you had full scholarships, not sure if that’s just tuition) or if you are indeed able to pay for college on your own without your parents’ help, by all means, follow your heart. I went to a school that was totally a wrong fit for me, partially because of my parents’ influence. You’ve been accepted to some really good schools that obviously want you to attend. If you get your confidence up you will likely succeed anywhere.
Congrats on all your admits–and go visit those schools!</p>

<p>I have the same problem as you, I can’t decide which college go choose UCB or UCSD and my parents want me to go to UCB just because of its name.
I think you should go visit the campus because which ever school u choose you’ll have to stay there for 4 years. If go to a college that you don’t like, then ur four years might be miserable there.
In selecting colleges, going to the college becuase of its rank is stupid because what if you don’t like it?? You have to choose some where you can enjoy.
At UCB competition might not be a problem for you because you seem to be very smart. getting full scholarships too all those schools. However, There are so many people that are smart there that it is hard to get opportunities to shine. </p>

<p>My advice: Go to the college that you will want to spend 4 years in. Don’t go because of it’s name or rank. I am sure which ever college you choose, ur parents will have to accept it. It is your future and not your parents’ so you should listen to what you really want.
Hope you make a good choice :D</p>

<p>First of all, I am sorry you feel so stressed, but I think you can succeed at any school you are admitted to. You would not have gotten in otherwise. UCSB and Oxy are great schools, but Cal is Cal. Look, don’t worry about the competition, you can find highly competitive niches and highly mellow cool folks niches at any school, especially Cal. I had friends who went there and didn’t buy into the competitive elements and they have a GREAT experience. They went to football games on campus, basketball games, concerts, San Fran etc etc. Anyhow, visit the campuses if you can. You might find that you like one of the schools your parents like. (BTW, its not just ASIAN parents, there are parents of ALL groups who act like yours haha)</p>

<p>Fear is a natural thing to feel, but don’t let it limit your decision. I am more concerned about that then the pressure you feel from your parents. Don’t be gripped by your fear, you have done well so far, you obviously have worked hard, so you CAN do it anywhere, you would not have been accepted otherwise.</p>

<p>Here is another thing to consider, the world is such that the “name” schools have more money and more resources. I say this because you mentioned that you are not certain what you want to do and thats okay, you can figure that out when you get to where you go. BUT some schools have more resources/opportunities that others. Thats just reality. For example, the UC system was forced to cut enrollment this year, EXCEPT which campuses? Berkeley and UCLA! Other campuses get cuts first which sucks but it is what it is.</p>

<p>Finally, it sounds like maybe you want a more friendly environment, again you can find like minded people everywhere. Its about making friends and building community. College is like HS in that way but even more varied because there are so many more people (depending where you go). Personally, based on all the choices you have I would choose Cal (unless Cornell offers a full ride or is affordable) NOT because its the most prestigious, but because the resources are pretty incredible.</p>

<p>Good luck. And try to chill out :-)</p>

<p>“Fear is your only God” Rage Against the Machine</p>

<p>“Only thing we have to fear, is fear itself” Franklin Delano Roosevelt</p>

<p>I am also an Asian student living in California.
i got into UCLA SD Berkeley and OXY. i have been talking to my teachers and older friends who went to berkeley and most of them tell me that i should visit the campus and absorb the environment. I have a friend who got into B and went there for a year. she simply could not handle the environment. that free-minded spirit was too much to handle and she was not doing well in school because she could not control herself. i think it is particularly the case for the Asian students (trust me, im one of you) because we have been so focused in school with almost unconditional support from our parents. when that support is gone, many Asian students tend to at least get lost for a while</p>

<p>i guess what i am trying to say is, if you are going to berkeley, just think about the social environment.</p>

<p>overall, you NEED to visit campus. perhaps with someone who attends the school currently. If we happen to go to Oxy or Berkeley together, we could be tight friends i guess. haha Good luck and convince your parents! talking makes everything happier and better.</p>

<p>Hey thanks for your awesome support. I am visiting Berkeley from 6th to 8th. Perhaps Oxy another day.</p>

<p>I would personally prefer Cal over UCSD. UCSD seems to pay a lot of attention to bio and chem. If you are into those fields than go!!! but Cal is better at more things. The only thing that I do not like about Cal is the competition.</p>

<p>Good LUCK!!!</p>