<p>It is just me, or do any of you not participate in gossiping as well? Honestly, I never talk about people behind their backs. I never judge people by what they wear, how they do their hair, what color their hair is, etc. My conversations are usually about what is going on in the news, movies, random topics, but I NEVER start a conversation about how this girl did this, this guy did that, anything like that.
I feel horrible if I say I do not like a pair of shoes! I do not know how people feel better about themselves by gossiping. I feel better by looking at people's positive things, and wondering how I can better myself like them.
I just never been a gossiper, and I feel uncomfortable when people start gossiping to me.
Anyone else like that?</p>
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<p>Of course you do. It’s not always negative, it’s not always harmful (it can keep you safe), it’s often subconscious, you might not tell people about it, and you might not make the same kinds of judgments other people would be likely to make (for example, if you’re trying to fight against stereotypes you might tend to assume people are the opposite of their stereotype), but you’re always judging people based on their appearances.</p>
<p>I don’t really gossip much either, but when I do it’s not out of jealousy or an attempt to feel better about myself…it’s more of a way to talk about the person in question without looking like I’m obsessed with them. If I talk about someone behind their back, it means I like them a lot and they’re on my mind and I want to talk about them, but I don’t want to gush about them so I make fun of them instead, because I’m a weirdo. </p>
<p>I just don’t talk when others gossip. It works, and you can use that time to daydream.</p>
<p>@Halyconheather Well I guess I do judge people positively, (by appearance) but I’m never like “Oh my gosh her hair is pink, she is such a loser, I bet she does drugs, blah, blah, blah” like most of my fellow classmates. I usually judge people more on their attitude.
From what I have seen (and heard), most of my classmates gossip out of jealously and boredom.
What really bothers me is when one of my classmates talks extremely bad about someone one day, (telling me the person’s secrets and making up rumors about her ) and then the next day they are all sweet and “buddy-buddy” with them.
An “I can’t trust you” warning bell (or radar? Idk which to use lol.) rings in my head.</p>
<p>Well, I don’t talk to anybody so…</p>
<p>@Strium168 I do the exact same thing. Whenever I am at lunch and the people that I am sitting with start gossiping, I just stay quiet and go on my phone to research about random topics.
And they always get mad because they say I am on my phone too much. 
I tell them that if they want me to pay attention to them, they should start making up other conversations, rather than just sit there and make up random gossip about people walking by.
I TRY to make conversations up, but they always turn it into “omg do you see what she is wearing? She is so ugly! I cant believe she has a boyfriend, blah, blah.”
I know people are entitled to their opinion, but my table group and “friends” just go by the lies they hear, rather than knowing the person personally. And they are extremely rude expressing their opinion. (Cough, cough, jealously) </p>
<p>(Sigh) High School. </p>
<p>It’s easy to judge people, the hard part is keeping your mouth shut. I’m not saying I’m a saint when it comes to gossip (There is one girl who always pushes my buttons) but I try not to do it. It doesn’t get any better when you’re older either. Just the other day I was listening to my mother talk on the phone to a friend and they were gossiping about how one woman doesn’t do anything in the PTO and how she is such a pre-madonna. Hearing this I talked to my dad and he said that he was surprised I was disturbed by this and he was somewhat proud. He also said that gossip never ceases and no one knows what really is going on in someone’s life. I’ve heard one girl mutter about me during a class: “she’s just trying to get attention, look at her. She’s too ugly and stuck-up to have real friends” all because a guy leaned over to ask if I was okay because I was crying. Earlier that morning I had been yelled at and called degrading things by my mother. I hate myself when I gossip and I hate when others gossip. It’s poison. I’m trying to be better. One trick you could try to make the gossip stop in your group is whenever someone brings up a subject like “Tracy’s hair is so gross, does she even bathe?” You could always ask: “What if she doesn’t have a shower? What if her water got turned off?” Just change the direction of the conversation. I hope you are a better person than me. Good luck hon!</p>
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<p>*prima donna 
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<p>Eh, no, not really. Most of my conversations with people revolve around academics. There’s one girl who I talk to about the guy I like but I don’t necessarily consider it gossip. </p>
<p>i listen to my mom gossip on the phone with her coworkers once in awhile. i like to know what’s happening with her coworkers too! but its not really the bad kind of gossip like out of boredom that has no reason behind it. usually it’s because my mom is having work issues on a personal or professional level with one coworker so its basically seeking support from other people she knows. those are the times she “gossips” more. sometimes its with friends that don’t know that person, but other times its mutual coworkers which is when it can get gossipy. like she says things like don’t you think it was wrong what she did or over the top, do you get the same bad vibes from her that i do. so its not really mean spirited. sometimes that can turn into gossiping but my mom’s only looking to feel better about the work incidents. i don’t really like it when it starts to sound gossipy, but i’m not really judging, if you’re gossiping to deal with being hurt and it helps, then i can be pretty understanding of it.</p>
<p>i never really gossiped too much in real life but on the internet i seem to, so it’s occurred to me that maybe im a bit of a gossiper like my mom. and maybe it was just suppressed in real life interactions. like i was shy about showing that side of me, or being perceived as a gossiper. that’s IF there is really this side to me and if it exists at all, which are big ifs. i really didn’t think so the first few times i wondered about this. first of all, i’m a guy, so how could that be. secondly, im not really a people-interested kind of person, or i didn’t used to be, i thought i was more idea-interested and idea-curious than people-curious. but then things kept happening that kept making me wonder.</p>
<p>half the issues with my online friends seemed to stem from me wanting to talk to them about each other too much. i wasn’t really trying to gossip, but turn us into a group, get them to be know each other better so we could all be friends, but then when there were fallings out, and i began to talk about those, that’s when the revelations that maybe i’m a gossiper started.</p>
<p>It is the high school past time. You are wise to avoid it. We have a neighborhood gossip who makes things so unpleasant for some. She even told everyone one family was dealing drugs—absolutely were not–and then could not understand why they would move from such a nice neighborhood. Some people never ‘graduate’ from this insecure past time of meanness.</p>
<p>@halcyonheather lol thanks, I’ve never seen the words written so I had no idea just went with it. I’ll keep that in mind :)>- </p>
<p>I ‘gossip’ a bit? I mean, I ask for info from my friends in America and talk about fellow competitors with kids here. I’m totally out of the loop at my current school though - no clue who is dating who. I try to be nice to everyone - NYR, yo </p>