I am really scared to tell my pretentious parents about my UC irvine waitlist.

So first of all, I’m shocked at my UC decisions. I got a 2130 sat score, 3.79 UW gpa, and graduating high school with 69 college quarter credits. The only acceptance I got so far was UCSB. I got wailisted at UC Davis, UCSD, and UCI. I got rejected from ucla (expected).

So basically, I already told me parents last week i got waitlisted at davis and sd and they were thoroughly disappointed. My parents are the stereotypical pretentious Indians, and care too much about their social image to tell the truth. Even though I got waitlisted at the above UC’s, my dad went out and told all his friends that I got into UCSD when they asked him what colleges I got into. I think that’s just pathetic. Also, I found out I got waitlisted at irvine (no idea how), and idk what to tell my parents.

Also, I wanted to go to cal poly SLO (which I got into) becuase its cheap, but now I cant because all my parents friends are going to ask him why I am going to cal poly SLO instead of UCSD. Now my dad wants me to go to UIUC (WHICH COST 50K FOR US!!!), and I honestly think its a waste of money.

TL;DR: How to do I tell my parents about my UCI waitlist?

Not that free after all, huh?

Your parents need to stop trying to live their dreams through you. So many vicarious parents are eager to send their kids to somewhere that they want to attend.

Obviously, it’s no use ranting here when you need a plan. Gather up statistics of this year’s admission profiles and present it to your parents. If they truly love you - which I believe they do despite their pretentiousness - they will understand and support your final decision.

You can go anywhere you want. I don’t know why turning down UCSD/UCI/UofI for CalyPoly SLO is so unheard of. Your parents can say that it’s a better fit. At the UC’s, after all, research is paramount, not necessarily undergrad education.

Cal Poly SLO is a nice school I thought. However, I’m not that familiar with CA schools. If your parents are paying for your education, their opinion/input does matter however I admire your desire to keep the costs low. Your parents seem like the traditional type that are more into status and symbol when it comes to colleges. They want to impress the friends at the barbecues.

I would have a talk with your parents and explain in a civil, kind way why you like the colleges you do and why it will be better for you to go there (compared to say UIUC). About your dad going around saying you got into UCSD, well…let him suffer the embarrassment if it doesn’t work out.

You will have to tell your parents about the waitlist but if you don’t feel comfortable saying anything until you have a concrete decision, that’s fine too.

It is not your fault that your dad lied to his own friends he is old enough to face his own consequences.
The truth will always come out sooner or later
If I were in your shoes I would talk to the parent that is more “easy” first
Let them say whatever they want and then finally start the conversation
Tell that parent your plan
Remember you haven’t been rejected so you still have hope
After talking with that parent make a move to talk with the second parent not alone but with the first parent
Hopefully he/she would have a better understanding and support you while you have a conversation with the second parent

@viphan‌ but my stats are above average. im looking at all the other waitlists and they all have below 2100’s.

Stats aren’t the only things that matter. Even the UC’s are holistic to a degree.

UC schools put more weight on GPA than test scores. Basically, if they have applicant A with GPA 4.0/SAT 2000 and B with GPA 3.6/SAT 2200, they would accept the former.

Your parents need to stop such ridiculous bahavior, but oh well what can we do…it’s not like we are appointed family counselors. Anyway, unless you are going back to India(where name of colleges matter), it should not be that much of problem to go to Cal SLO. You need to convince your parents to cut off their ludicrous pushes on you.
You can get good jobs without going to prestigious colleges…well at least in USA(which is a huge blessing, I suppose)

However, the admission thresholds are not uniform within each school. Choosing a popular major relative to the major’s capacity at the school may mean facing a higher admission threshold than other applicants to the same school face.

Both CPSLO and UCSB are fine schools. If you have no reason to go to UIUC, then there is little reason to go there at greatly increased cost.

I think we need to give VERY detailed explanation to why going to UIUC is not worth so that s/he can persuade his/her parents. Apparently they are not easy to convince with just one or two sentences

You tell them about Irvine the same way you told them about Davis and UCSD.

I always try to take parent (and child) complaints with a grain of salt. I think most of us have had impressions of our parents that weren’t fully accurate during our youth and vice versa (particularly during such an emotionally volatile time.) I suppose you can choose to believe your parents care nothing for you but the prestige you bring to their name or you can consider that they may be genuinely upset for you and angry at these colleges for rejecting their baby. Or, like in most cases, it’s probably a little of both. They could be too invested but that doesn’t mean they aren’t also genuinely heart-broken for you. They would not be the first parents to turn a “wait-list” into an “acceptance” in certain company… they are human and they’re going to screw up at times just like you.

UCSB is a good school… higher ranked than UCI… some stronger programs than UCD and UCSD. Depends on what you are looking at. Cal Poly is also a great school and if you got in and it’s your top choice, I encourage you to wait a week or two before making any decisions. You’ll be amazed at how much rationalization can come from a little time to chill. Your parents maybe more willing to hear your calm and rational proposal after the “decision dust” has settled.

What is your anticipated major? And, do have hope. Because of the budget standoff between UC and Gov. Brown, Napolitano authorized no increase to enrollment (yet) this year. Students are being “banked” on the waitlist until some of the budget issues are resolved. It is a very anomalous year. More waitlists are more likely to turn into acceptances this year than in prior years, as things settle out.

In Physics, Biology, or Math UCSB has arguably the best programs in the state for a very motivated student through CCS. Cal Poly SLO has an excellent reputation in engineering.

Depending on rules, you may find going to a community college for a semester or a year will give you more freedom and better options when you then transfer to a UC. The devil is in the details, but for some motivated/accomplished students such as yourself this is actually the best option. For some it is not.

Your parents don’t owe an explanation to anyone.

In another thread, the OP mentioned majoring in EE. Based on http://www.assist.org listings, it may be difficult to cover the frosh/soph EE course work for many UCs and CSUs at many CCs (the math and physics would not be a problem, but there usually are campus-specific engineering course requirements as well). So a CC->UC/CSU transfer in EE may have to take a lot of “catch up” courses after transfer.

Too bad you didn’t apply to U of Alabama. It offers good engineering programs and offers so many opportunities…

However, the OP’s parents probably think Alabama is too low in prestige, and do not seem to be too concerned about spending a lot of money (much of Alabama’s appeal is the tide of scholarship money).

@ucbalumnus, for EE it may not work as well. Especially since those (physics and math) are probably well covered already in his/her 69 quarter-hours of credit. The issue is that often many of those 69 quarter-hours (46 semester hours) are only useful as ‘elective’ credit and do not satisfy college requirements for breadth classes. Going to a CC may allow those courses to convert to satisfy breadth requirements, as well, freeing up schedule to take ‘fun’ (what you term "catch-up’) classes, so that he can still progress at a timely clip. Additionally, “progression towards degree” requirements are relaxed (a bit) for transfer students, in practice, giving more latitude. With 46 semester credits, if all are usable, OP could ostensibly transfer in as a Junior with one semester of Community College work- and may find a full years worth of useful community college classes. Transfer admissions may be kinder to OP than Freshman admissions. Certainly I do not think they would be harsher. S/he would want to choose the Community College judiciously.

Three additional years at a CSU or UC would provide a much richer and fuller educational experience and allow OP to delve deeper into upper division/graduate courses and be better prepared for a job or for graduate school admissions.

If you are doing EE at Cal Poly there are many who feel it is a better choice than the UC’s.

@paul2752‌ lol, my parents will barely allow me to go to cal poly slo. i dont think they’ll even let me apply to u of alabama… plus i have no intentions of going to that state.

Just explain to your parents that the UC admissions were crazy this year. I agree it is your father’s own fault for making up stories and you shouldn’t bother to worry about that or protect him from his own embarrassment. You are right it is pathetic. If Cal Poly is really your preference you can explain to them the coop program gets you good internships and you can look up their placement info and the payscale lists that show them in such a favorable light. And at least you have one UC acceptance, so you are in good shape.