<p>Ehh, I hate to be a complainer, but it's like 10PM, and I'm on CC so sorry if I bother anyone with my venting. </p>
<p>I'm a junior and next year I'll be applying to the U of M. I really want to live in a dorm because I've heard that it's a great experience especially freshman year. My parents are set dead against it. At first they said they just wouldn't pay. Alright, that's their choice. I was fine with that. So I got an after school job and am responsibly earning money. </p>
<p>Now as long as I can remember my Mom has promised me that if I work hard and do well at school she will pay for the University of Minnesota tuition. But now that they don't have any other leverage against me on the whole dorm thing, they've decided to completely refuse to pay for anything. And I know tons of kids go through this, but at least they know what's coming. They have like 3 years of high school to prepare. I got this sprung on me. </p>
<p>I don't even know what to do. Anyone see my side at least?</p>
<p>Yeah, I'm on your side. Parents are a real pain sometimes. I got into some fine schools, but they are dead set on sending me to UMassachusetts (they think I won't do well at good schools). They just bought a million dollar house too. I can't really believe this is happening.. All I can do is sit here and be frustrated that they don't understand me.</p>
<p>I feel for you, man! Good luck with things. Do they want you to commute?</p>
<p>Haha, yeah my parents just built a million dollar house so I guess we're in almost the same boat. Oh, and they've told me like couple years ago that I can't go anywhere else than University of Minnesota. </p>
<p>And yeah, they want me to take the bus, which is 2 hours one way, every single day. I do PSEO, so I do that several times a week already. It's not fun. </p>
<p>I totally get how you feel too. Any chance your parents will compromise somehow? Like have you go one year to UMass, and then if you're doing well let you transfer somewhere better?</p>
<p>That's truly awful...I'm sorry. :( My parents are the complete opposite...they want me to live in a dorm as long as possible for the "college experience," which I agree will be fun...</p>
<p>Wow. Your parents are strict. My parents just don't like the idea of me going out of state (Like Carnegie Mellon, NYU, Boston University -- Which is where I want to go if i DO go out of state). Otherwise, they don't care, as long as I go to a UC. My mom and I love UC Davis, just because it's two hours away from where I live and I could come home every weekend. My dad on the other hand is like OBSESSED with UC San Diego, which I thought was waaaay too far, by car at least. I mean I almost died in that 9 hour car ride. He only likes it cause the counselor dude there was like "OUR STUDENTS ARE THE BEST HELL YES." (excluding the hell yes part)</p>
<p>I'm cool with UC Davis -- farthest I'd go is UC Irvine, probably. But Boston just sounds so cool.</p>
<p>My friend's parents on the other hand, WANT her to get out. LOL.</p>
<p>Where I live, a million dollar home is like every single freaking house on the street (yes, even with the housing market slump). Nothing special. Butttt a $3-4 million dollar home .. yeah that's ballin'. Just a side note.</p>
<p>Wow...I feel lucky...
my parents want me to go to UT ... maybe A&M...</p>
<p>I want to go OOS and they're like "if its a good school... that is your choice and we will pay for it"... so I'm like "YEAHHHH!!!"
They actually want me to live in a dorm and then maybe we'll buy or rent a house out... that what my dad did...</p>
<p>Your parents sound... obsessed... A 2 hour bus ride??? EVERYDAY?
haha, my parents would laugh at that... they are strict but when it comes to education they're would buy my the smartest brain in the world if it was possible...and they had the money... LOL....maybe not literally... you get the gist...
I'm ok with UT... I hate A&M...</p>
<p>My parents are going to shoot for paying for my kids college... LOL... that how serious they take it...</p>
<p>Those of you complaining... when you have kids... you remember how you feel now... let them go where they want... and HELP them pay for it... this isn't a night out with friends this is their (or right now...our) future...</p>
<p>Argh, that stinks. My parents aren't quite that bad..but pretty much my mom is holding my college money over my head and threatens to take it away at any chance-if I don't listen to her demands. See, I refuse to go in-state (free/live at home/commute/have my own car etc) like my mom adamantly hoped I would (essentially she forced me to apply to UAA even though there's no way on earth that I will ever go there. I'd rather take a gap year). Instead, I chose to go out-of-state that costs 20K a year. My parents are reluctantly willing to pay ~5k a year and will not cosign any loans. So I have to work, work work my butt off this summer. At least I have some savings...</p>
<p>Maybe your parents are just being unreasonable for the time being and they'll change their minds later? good luck with that</p>
<p>I don't know how your grades/EC's are, but scholarships are one thing that your parents can't take away from you so you might want to look into those.</p>
<p>OP: Even if your parents won't pay for anything, DON'T LET THAT STOP YOU. You're basically a (from your post, I can tell) very responsible young adult. </p>
<p>Hopefully, they'll change their mind by next year. </p>
<p>If they don't, then put yourself under 'independent' for the FAFSA and keep saving money. </p>
<p>You will have to take out more loans -but a 2 hour bus drive to COLLEGE just isn't doable. </p>
<p>I mean it -you'll lose most of the EXPERIENCE OF COLLEGE that way. Everything -even the bad/good stuff like learning to do your own laundry after you turned all of your white clothes red stuff. </p>
<p>Oh, and start researching scholarships NOW. Local ones are usually easier to get. If you're going to be independent and are a minority definetly try to get the GATES MILLENIUM SCH.</p>
<p>Yikes. I'm really sorry to hear that. Definitely continue saving and work super hard for some merit based scholarships. Maybe your parents will realize how responsible you are and understand that they need to trust you enough to let you go. If they can afford to help you with college, it's really their responsibility. There are kids out there who work hard and have absolutely no one to support them. They are the ones who really need scholarships. Don't give up on your parents yet. Maybe you could get an aunt or uncle or another adult to talk to them. The problem seems to be that they want to protect you and keep you around and don't realize that they NEED to let you go and grow up.
Best of luck!</p>
<p>Yep, my mom+stepdad built a million dollar house a couple years back so I knew I wouldn't be getting much in the way of assistance from them. My mom doesn't make an income and my stepdad wasn't willing to pay for college, but I didn't really let that stop me from applying to the colleges I wanted to.</p>
<p>I included their financial information, but they left a note saying that they weren't willing to pay for my college and I just used my dad's information, who makes considerably less per year but is my main financial supporter as the custodial parent.</p>
<p>In my finaid report, they adjusted for that so as a whole, I'd only need around 9000 per year from my parents. Then, my stepdad agreed to pay 5000 a year. I hate him. </p>
<p>Yeah, that's my Mom's reasoning for wanting me to stay at home. She says that I haven't experienced life yet, and that if she let's me live on campus I will make a lot of mistakes. Anything from not studying to getting pregnant. </p>
<p>I don't know for sure why this is. It might be because when she was 19, (In Russia) she dropped out of medical school and got married to my Dad. So I mean I understand that she's scared that I'll make the same mistakes. I just wish I could tell her, that it's exactly because of that, that I won't make the same mistakes as her. </p>
<p>I've got pretty good grades, 3.9 GPA, 32 ACT (I think I can raise it), and a solid list of ECs, so I'm hoping for some scholarships which will undoubtedly help a lot. I'm just hoping that I can raise all the money in time. I'll do my best, haha, I'm applying for a second job already. </p>
<p>One last question, don't I have to meet requirements to declare myself as Independent. I mean...I'm not married and don't have a kid or anything so how can I be eligible?</p>
<p>There are plenty of good schools on either coast and in between that would love to have a strong student from rural MN! You should spend some time on deciding whether a school like UM (top-notch, but VERY large) is what you are truly looking for. Then you can look at scholarship opportunities. </p>
<p>Your mom's concerns, while taken to an extreme, are not baseless -- college students do have a lot of freedom and a lot of opportunity to "get in trouble". But can you engage her at all in a discussion? If she was going to be a medical student, she must be very bright. Have you discussed what her concerns are and how you might be able to address them, short of commuting 4 hours a day? Maybe single-sex or substance free dorms? Maybe a smaller, religiously affiliated college (if that works for you and for her?) Many of these schools are not heavy-handed about the religious aspect, but are pretty strict about behaviors your mom might be concerned about -- and have students who are less in the "party hardy" mold. If you can communicate and compromise, that would be great. In the meantime, do the research anyway, because you will need it, anyway.</p>
<p>I'd hardly call EP rural; it's more the quintessential rich suburb.</p>
<p>But I'd agree that scholarships would be worth looking into. At the U, it's definitely possible that you could get a good scholarship with those numbers.</p>
<p>My parents don't care where I go, as long as it's a good school. That's really sad that your parents won't help pay. U of M is a great school, I have family there. They sound slightly obsessed as well. Are you an only/the eldest child?</p>
<p>My parents will help pay for my college, but not all, as I have 4 other siblings who need to go to university as well.</p>
<p>And no, you can't just list yourself as independent, especially if your parents claim you as a dependent (which I'm sure they do.) What you can do is look into getting yourself legally emancipated, and I believe then you should be able to file as independent. That is, of course, if this situation doesn't resolve beforehand.</p>