I know I’m a decent writer, but i have a few topics in mind about things that literally nobody else knows about me. I’m working with a counselor who is pressuring me to get this essay done to send off to an editor, but i don’t want the editor or even my parents to read my essay, because it’s just that personal. Is this a bad idea?
I would say that if thats the way you feel, try sending it to someone you don’t know very well since this would mimic the admission process because ultimately someone will be reading it
The point of the essay is to get you into university. Will this essay accomplish this goal? Is there someone that you can trust (maybe your GC at high school) to read the essay and comment on it for that purpose without divulging your secrets?
You need to have someone read it. I have a neighbor who worked as a news editor and his friends sometimes ask him to read their child 's essay. Some of the ones that the parents don’t read first are truly horrible, he says, but the parents seemed to think that the essay was almost finished.
An essay is not a journal or a time to unburden yourself. I agree that parents might not be best readers for some essays, but if you can’t let a teacher or someone like that read it, it is probably too personal and you should pick a different topic.
I agree absolutely with @intparent.
The point behind this essay is to “give them a reason to say yes.” That’s it. It’s not therapy, it’s not confession, it’s not an opportunity to unburden yourself.
It’s to gain admission to a college.
If you don’t want anyone to read it, then it goes into your private journal, and you start over on your college essay.
And you have multiple people read that essay, just to ensure that it does the best possible job at “giving them a reason to say yes.”
Or at least one trusted adult who can give you editing tips and help you see how it comes across. Your goal is to make them want you on campus.
I just want to echo what bjkmom and intparent said, to drive the point home. You must have your essay read by someone in a position to give you feedback–an editor, a teacher, etc. Even if it’s just to proofread the thing, you must have it read. Do not send it in “cold.” That is madness. Again, keep your eye on the prize (getting into college), let go of your fears, and, if necessary, start again with a less sensitive topic.
You’re taking a big gamble by not letting someone else give you suggestions/minor edits. But the student whose essay was #BlackLivesMatter over and over, took a big risk, and look where he landed. It’s your call.
I had several students contact me after admission decisions were released this past April. These students had been denied almost everywhere, or had no acceptances at all. They sent me their essays, which were basically dreadful. What you think is great might in fact be a deal-breaker. I strongly advise you not to submit essays that haven’t been at least read by another, impartial person. Ideally not a parent, and certainly NOT a peer. Sorry to say, but other teens, unless they have a reputation for being excellent writers, are not good people to ask.
And I agree with @intparent 100%. The essay is a way for adcoms to get an idea of who you are as a person, beyond your stats. What should they know about your personality? They want to admit people they like.
One mistake I see repeatedly is students who feel that they MUST answer the prompt as closely as possible. They have been dutifully trained to do so their whole lives. It is what gets you an A in school. But this is the one time when that isn’t necessarily the best policy.
Remember this:
- The admissions officer reading your essay did not write the prompts. Their goal really isn’t to know the answer to the prompt. It is to know you.
- The question they are trying to answer is what else is there to you that doesn’t show up in the rest of the app that should make them want you on campus? The essay is what makes you 3D to them. It is a chance to show them what makes you tick and what could make you a positive addition to their campus.
- Sure, you need to loosely answer one of the prompts. But figure out what you want to tell, then fit it to a prompt.
- A great essay can turn on a small thing. One of my kids had an essay published as an example of “how to” for college essay. It included a description of trying out her foreign language skills on the host family’s dog in a foreign country – it was only a part of the essay, but it had some self deprecating humor that I think really made the essay. My other kid wrote about how she has secretly been imitating a famous literary figure since middle school with some serous and some funny results. She got in everyplace she applied, including some top schools, even with a slightly soft GPA.
- Those poor admissions officers read hundreds of essays on the same prompts every year. Unless you have a whale of a sob story (immigrant boat people or homelessness type big), my advice is to look for something positive to write about. Things that seem huge to a teen (secrets about sexuality, overly religious parents, abusive parents, etc) are not uncommon themes, but also don’t really make you stand out in a positive way.
- Anything about mental health is a bad topic. Even if you think you’ve licked it, they know it could come back. And they would rather not deal with that on campus.
- The admissions officer has to meet with the team and make a case for you. They’ll shorthand you as they debate it – it is probably better to be the "kid who loves reciting Chaucer " than the “depressed kid from Connecticut”.
- Teens are notoriously terrible at judging the quality of their essays and how they will come across. They are also awful judges of whether any humor they’ve included is funny to an adult. Get an adult editor who has some understanding of the admissions process.
@intparent , the above post should be pinned in the essay forum. I am bookmarking it. Excellent description.
Reading post to son now.
@intparent Might I suggest you start a new thread with a copy and paste of that post so I can pin it.
Done 
I tagged you.
Thanks; I’ve pinned.