I took honors english for two years and did quite well until the last semester of sophomore year. I went into depression and stopped trying and working hard, and it affected almost all my classes. I stopped going to practice and played video games and slacking off.
My junior classes came in and I’m taking spanish 2, stats and probability, english 3, basically no AP classes. I was set up to win… and I let my parents and peers down all because of one semester. I’m taking the worst of the worst classes for a junior and my pride has gone to nothing. I had plans to go to westpoint and now I’m a complete failure. I don’t know how I can live this life anymore.
I got a C in my sport and a D in the easiest class ever which was world history, the rest of the 4 classes I failed. I got a single D freshman year which was in geometry, and went onto the first semester failing chemistry and a D in spanish, then the next failing 4.
Is there no hope? Should I just drop out of high school? My parents are Asian and I have lied consistently about my grades. They expect me to be taking AP classes, and so do my friends. nobody knows about the life I have lived, full of lies.
First off, I’ll say to stop with the lying. Now, by and large, that advice is pretty hypocritical of me; it gets easier to lie in college and there’s still a number of things, such as individual exams I failed in classes that I still passed, that they’ve never found out about. But other things they have, and it’s really blown up in my face. If you can’t handle the notion of letting them know about all the things you’ve lied about already, you can at least vow to be more honest from here on out.
You’re not a failure. You’re going to get through this, even if it’s going to be a really painful route to get there. You’re depressed; clearly you’re aware of that, but you also need to be aware that it’s NOT your fault.
I’ll never see the light of day and I’m working up the courage to tell them straight up.
I appreciate your advice and thank you so much, but everything is my fault no matter what. I am depressed because I slacked off and saw my grades go down, so I started sleeping extremely late and eating rather less.
I’m a complete failure to my entire family. My parents had hope for me to help them out in the future regarding finances and such since my sister fell under the same route. I fell face first in the dirt harder than she did, and I’m supposed to be the one helping the family.
Out of curiosity, are your fears about disappointing your parents self-inflicted, or have they explicitly said you’ve let them down? Either way, I agree that you should show someone this thread.
As for longer-term solutions, you have the option of attending a community college first and transferring, since you would probably struggle in college admissions with your grades (not to be harsh, it’s just a fact).
But first and foremost, you need to have help with your depression, because it’s not right that you are struggling alone.
The first thing you need to do is get your mental health under control.
Talk to a trusted adult about it and get advice and see a psychiatrist for possible medication.
Then talk to your parents…get your guidance counselor or priest involved if you don’t think you can do it on your own.
Perhaps you need to retake courses.
But work with your GC and your parents and start from where you ARE, not where they think you SHOULD BE.
How can your parents not have seen your grades or courses? Don’t they have to sign off?