I was a super successful student in high school and had a lot of doors open to me. I never once considered going to community college or even a college locally. I wanted to challenge myself and expand my horizons, even thinking beyond out of state schools to an international school. I ultimately decided to remain in state, but go to a school over 400 miles away. I started at UC Davis this fall, which had really been my dream school for a long time. I wasn’t completely sure on my major, but knew I wanted to do something in the college of ag/environmental science which is one of the best in the country. The school really became my identity and my excitement was unreal. I thought my life was going to be infinitely better in college. However, once I got there I became immediately depressed and every single new experience gave me severe anxiety. Ultimately, it got to a dangerous point and I had to come home shortly after starting.
Now I’m back home, trying to figure out what to do with my life. I really feel like I don’t know who I am or what I am doing anymore. Davis was my dream school, and had everything I could have wanted socially and academically. I simply wasn’t strong enough for such a change at this point in my life I guess. I want to put it in the past, but it’s so incredibly hard. I had an extremely competitive scholarship there and feel like I would’ve had so much opportunity.
I’m just wondering what my best option would be now. For such a situation would people recommend starting next semester at community college and taking time to explore my interests and figure things out? The issue with this is my parents are extremely disappointed that I worked so hard in high school all to have it not matter in a transfer situation. My other option is perhaps applying to Chapman University, as it is a school I could commute to. If anyone has been through any sort of similar situation and offer me some encouragement, that would be super helpful.
I’m sorry to hear that you had such a hard time. I think your top priority right now should be your mental health, are you in therapy or treatment? Your therapist could then help you with future planning, after you have worked through some things. I think there are things to work on, within yourself, before you start focusing on your circumstances/location/educational plans as the next step to take.
You said, “Ultimately, it got to a dangerous point and I had to come home shortly after starting.”
You also said, " I simply wasn’t strong enough for such a change at this point in my life I guess."
@emk2000 I am sorry you are going through this. I agree with TSO104. You should get some sort of therapy. It will enable you to take steps when you are ready and work through your issues while you are not ready. Ultimately, it will help you to move forward safely and positively. IMHO if you were not ready for UC Davis then Chapman University will have some of the same stresses, minus living there of course, that may not be healthy for you yet. Your parents are of course saddened and worried but do not worry about that. Take care of yourself and they will come around
In addition to the other responses, I would add that some kids your age are ready for such a big change, and some aren’t.
Looking back many years ago, I had a scholarship and opportunity to go far away, but I got scared and stayed home for college. That turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made. In hindsight, I would not have done well with such a change.
I ended up doing well in school, and have done well since then. And as I grew as a person, I became better prepared for the major changes that I have been through many times.
You just weren’t ready, and that is ok. The same things that made you amazing enough to earn that scholarship in the first place are the same things that can carry you in a new direction. I hope your parents can see that.