I got a friend request from an admission counselor. What do I do?

<p>Do not accept.</p>

<p>“I am going to have to talk with my two sons and see if they can bring me into the 21st century on this matter. I had heard the term “facebook” before but had no idea what it was or its significance. It is hard to see myself ever using it since I really do not see the purpose of it yet.” Lemaitre1</p>

<p>Go ahead and take the plunge. I have been on Facebook for two years and I STILL don’t see the purpose of it!</p>

<p>I think this is part of marketing these days, for colleges. I am 60 and a school that I was looking into, to finish a degree, wanted me to friend the admissions contact as well. I think they use it for communication with a larger number of people all at once, for postings of open houses, reminders, and in general to build a personal relationship with applicants so that they will eventually choose the school.</p>

<p>I didn’t do anything at all about it. I just didn’t answer the request. E-mail works fine for me, and I doubt the school minds at all that I did not accept this new friend.</p>

<p>Depends on your interest level in that college. I suspect LACs with small applicant pools have the time to do this kind of stuff but I can’t see a school with 20k applicants trying to do it. So if it is one of you top choices, accept and if not, ignore.</p>

<p>I would simply ignore the request. There is no reason to call excessive attention to yourself by writing her an email explaining your logic. If this is something that college commonly does to keep in touch with perspective students, they probably send out ‘friend’ requests to hundreds of individuals. I seriously doubt they keep track of who adds them to FB vs. those who do not, if you only met that person one time for an interview they most likely won’t even remember who you are. I also wouldn’t overact and send notes to others in admissions at that college, all that would do is make you look paranoid or that you don’t understand the use of social media. I don’t think what you choose to do with accepting friends on FB has anything to do with getting accepted to that college.</p>

<p>FB is a common social media application used by lots of people. You can determine your own criteria for who you choose to friend vs not and you are not required to explain your rationale to those you don’t know. Anyone who is a regular user of FB already understands that.</p>

<p>This column from “The Choice” suggests that most students don’t like to connect with admission reps via the social media that they use to communicate with real friends: [The</a> Medium Is the Message: Should a College Call, Text or Tweet? - NYTimes.com](<a href=“http://thechoice.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/09/26/technology-in-admiss/]The”>The Medium Is the Message: Should a College Call, Text or Tweet? - The New York Times)</p>

<p>And I agree. The whole college process already invades teen lives far too much, and Facebook Friending is yet another step in the wrong direction.</p>

<p>Facebook can also be used for (business ) or in this case recruitement, if you communicate with that person without adding him has a friend would be the preferred alternative.</p>

<p>Never know what door it could open for you.</p>

<p>Absolutely ignore it. Facebook is intended to be for social media. </p>

<p>It is inappropriate for an admission counselor to friend you. It really crosses the line because the only connection is getting in to their college. You are being bribed, which is why you aren’t sure what to do.</p>

<p>I disagree. Facebook is increasingly an important marketing tool. I have plenty of friends who use FB to market their businesses or let people know about their nonprofit’s fund-raisers. Same with Twitter. It’s all called “social media,” but it’s increasingly commercial.</p>

<p>I see the college’s FB friend request as just another way to market itself. It doesn’t mean this adcom loves you more than anyone else. It’s just like the marketing letters/brochures/viewbooks you get. I “like” ds1’s college FB page. I get lots of great information on there, but I recognize that its purpose is to promote itself to prospies/engender good will with parents and alumni so they’ll be more generous at pledge time. I’m going to “like” several of the pages of the colleges ds2 is applying to so I can get a sense of the schools’ personalities.</p>

<p>If it makes you uncomfortable, then ignore it.</p>

<p>“liking” means you get their postings they cannot see your page, your other friends or your other posts. We are talking about the FB pages of teens that have other teens that post language that are not used for business or marketing. </p>

<p>The OP will then have to concern herself if the ad com reads things that her friends or she herself posts such as “I’m not sure I want to go to school X even if I get in.” </p>

<p>People who want to use FB for business or marketing often have 2 FB accounts since the two groups are not likely to overlap. I believe the OP indicated the ad com’s FB page seemed like it was one for college related connecting, not her personal FB account.</p>

<p>So it is totally in the benefit of the college to have a potential student as a “friend” and not really in the best interest of the student who then will have to censor themselves.</p>

<p>dont respond . </p>

<p>GWU, my first choice tweeted me once. then i made all of my tweets private and never tweeted back</p>

<p>I’m a guy lakemom, but I agree with you. I have liked different universities facebook pages, but I have found that this certain admission counselor usually just posts where she is going and what not. It really isn’t much different then a universities actual facebook page. It looks like it’s the first admission season she has used facebook, but this is her professional facebook not her real one. I’m sure she wouldn’t be adding perspective students to her real account. If I had a “professional” facebook, I would probably accept her, but what 17 year old has one of those? I cannot think of one peer who has two facebooks.</p>

<p>Sorry early_college, didn’t realize you were male. I agree, can’t think of a reason a 17 year old needs 2 FB pages and by the time you get out college and go to work, there may be some other social media site that takes the lead over FB.</p>

<p>Uh, for those who think the counselor’s desire to see her page is aberrant and inappropriate, you might want to look at this stat: “A 2011 Kaplan study shows that nearly a quarter of colleges view their applicants’ social media presence when reviewing applications.” This comes from a very helpful article here about Facebook and admissions: [Private</a> & Professional: 7 Ways to Keep Your Facebook Profile Clean During the College Admissions Process | Her Campus](<a href=“http://www.hercampus.com/high-school/private-professional-7-ways-keep-your-facebook-profile-clean-during-college-admissions-p]Private”>Private & Professional: 7 Ways to Keep Your Facebook Profile Clean During the College Admissions Process)</p>

<p>Yes, you may not like it, but the reality is that (a) colleges look at Facebook pages, and (b) giving access to the page may give you a leg up over kids who either don’t allow it or who have pages that show them in a bad light. So, like a lot of things in life, you have a choice of standing on principle and maybe not getting admitted, or cleaning up your FB page for a few months (and the Hercampus.com article has suggestions on how to do it) and improving your chances. Are you really going to stand on your First Amendment and privacy rights to be able to keep on your wall that picture of you playing beer pong? </p>

<p>Any advice that ignores these realities may not be doing you a service. People love to have other people stand up for their rights.</p>

<p>But, hey, if you don’t care that much for the school or figure if you ignore the post that the admissions officer will forget, you can just ignore the request. Perhaps you might want to go to the CC site for that particular school and ask people there if they have any sense as to whether the admissions officers really pay attention to either (a) whether their “Friend” request is accepted, or (b) actually look at the sites.</p>

<p>I am not a she Ursa. I have no pictures of me playing beer pong, in fact, I’ve only had a sip of beer in the 17 years of my life. I do not drink or smoke. Some of my statuses can be negative and controversial at times, but there is nothing “bad” via pics/videos on my facebook. I just do not think I should have to watch what I say when it is my personal profile. I could always go through the trouble of blocking some statuses, but why go through the trouble? I honestly do not think I will get denied because I never accepted her request. At first, I was thinking about it but the majority of CC members have persuaded me not to accept it.</p>

<p>The Kaplan study, though it sounds scary, doesn’t indicate the sort or depth of questions asked. Adcoms are too freaking bust to check more than a very very few applicants- maybe athletes and a few with curious accomplishments, ime.</p>

<p>But, friending back does “expose” you. I’m with ghostt and compmom- it’s wierd marketing, something like trying to bond you or make them seem so hip. Many colleges have applicant FB pages- that sounds like more fun.</p>

<p>UrsaMajoric, do you really think “giving access to the page may give you a leg up over kids who either don’t allow it or who have pages that show them in a bad light.” </p>

<p>If a college is going to admit someone else because they have a “cleaner” facebook page then one has to wonder what criteria they are using for admittance. Stellar GPA, SAT scores and essay and recs but oh no a suggestive FB page, don’t admit that student. </p>

<p>Go spend some time over in the Common ap forum where people are agonizing about the length of their essay being too long so that the ad coms may be put off with how much time it takes to read it. So those same adcoms are going to spend how many minutes searching a FB site? Seconds!</p>

<p>HI! Sorry to post this here but how do I post a question on this site? I made a huge mistake that I really want opinions on as to how to remedy it. Thanks!</p>

<p>Also, I would politely send a message explaining that you don’t accept friend requests from those besides your friends and that its nothing personal.</p>

<p>Poke her so she gets annoyed and accepts you</p>

<p>I will say that a lot of peers are very stupid when it comes to facebook. Not only do they put pictures of them drinking/smoking, but they will put them as their profile/default picture. Even if their profile is private, admissions counselors can see their profile picture. I think these small LACs will probably spend more time researching their students compared to big state U’s. There is a reason this friend request was from a small LAC and not the University of __________.</p>