I made an account solely to ask for help about this.
So some backstory: in high school, my career path was chosen for me. Because the things I love to do (art, writing, etc) aren’t stable jobs, I went ahead and tentatively shot for pharmacy.
I decided to attend a community college because in their handbook and everything, they offered pharmacy tech certification, which I figured I could do in two years and in that time, find some semblance of understanding in something I’m going blind into. Stupid, stupid move - only now, 2 years later, do I realize that the school no longer offers the certification. And now I just feel so horribly defeated and lost.
I was already feeling overwhelmed and unsure. I feel like I’ve been wasting money, time, and effort for nothing. Introverted with social anxiety, I’m terrified of approaching someone to figure out what to do next. I figured I should clean up and find a way to transfer/apply to a university with the correct program in the fall, but right now, I’m so scared - I’ve been so low and unmotivated and wanting to disappear.
I guess what I need is to be told that this isn’t as much of an end as I feel like it is; to be told what I should do rather than continue beating myself up like this. I’m very much alone in this college journey (no friends and no family that had attended college, and I’m the eldest sibling). I do think I’m being overdramatic, but when the world is so big, you can feel so small.
Two years out of high school? You are still very young. You aren’t at an end, you are still at the beginning. Do you have an advisor at community college? That would be a place to start if you do. That’s their job, to guide nervous students like you. Push yourself through your anxiety, bring a friend or mom if you have to. You won’t feel so much like you are wasting time and money if the road is cleared a little for you. If your community college has a career center check that out too for resources. If it doesn’t, try state career centers, many states have them. Hang in there, find and push yourself to use resources.
You’ve taken the courses that would originally have gotten you certified, right? So take a look at other schools you might transfer to, and figure out how far you are from that certification. I can’t imagine it would be much. Perhaps there’s an advisor in the school who has worked with kids who were certified in the past?
But this isn’t an academic issue. This post screams out to me as a mental health issue. The lack of a bit of coursework should not have you feeling “horribly defeated and lost and unmotivated and wanting to disappear.”
You mention social anxiety-- can we assume you’ve been working with a counselor? What does he or she have to say about the way you’ve been feeling?
Bottom line: Not everyone successfully finds their way through life at age 18-- in spite of what you may read on this forum. Many, many people figure it out much later.
You mention your love for art and writing. Have you taken courses in them? Have you considered a major in journalism, in some sort of art, maybe in communications? And before you say it, yes, it may take more than the remaining 2 years to finish a degree if you change your major so radically at this point. (Then again, it may not. We won’t know until you check.)
You’re going to be working a good 4+ decades. Yes, you’ve got to make a living. But you also owe it to yourself to be happy.
So here’s what I suggest:
Speak to a counselor about the way you’ve been feeling. That’s priority #1.
Speak to an advisor at your current school about what else is needed for certification.
Look at transfer schools, and what it would take for a major-- or even a minor-- in communications or journalism or art or something you’ll love.
You are very young. Two years is a very small amount of time in the scope of your life. Also every experience helps you grow and although it doesn’t feel like it right now, these years are helping you toward where you want to be. I’m sure many of your credits will transfer.
Make an appointment at the career office at your community college. Meet with the counselor and tell him/her that you need to figure out where to go next. They should be able to help you determine some majors and then some colleges. Don’t waste time though…take care of this on Monday. You can do this. All is well.
I agree, meet with an advisor, and if they do not seem competent do not give up, but just go find another one in the same office. No offense to anyone, but college employees at that level can be hit or miss.
In addition to taking your course work already completed and transferring to another, similar institution to finish the pharmacy tech degree at a certified school, you could also have your transcript evaluated for purposes of just completing a standard associates degree at your current institution. If you did not like the pharmacy tech route, maybe this is your opportunity to ditch that path and try something else. While some of the courses you have taken will not help you on a new academic path, at least some presumably will (basic writing/English, some math and science). Besides, you only gave up two years, which is not that bad in the scheme of things. Even if the two years is a complete waste (and I doubt that is entirely so), you still have that coursework on your resume and can tell prospective employers down the line that you pursued that path, decided it wasn’t for you, and chose another. Many, many people have that sort of experience (heck, think of all the people who sign up for one tour of military duty and then get the heck out).
If you go on to a four-year school, do not be so sure that an academic major/degree without a “traditional” career path in STEM or business is a bad idea. Engineers and business majors, esp those your parent’s age, love to drone on about the wastefulness of liberal arts degrees. The challenge of a degree in a field that does not have a set, guaranteed career path is that the burden is on you to go out and blaze your trail. You must be proactive and seek out internships, take boring first jobs, and bounce a bit to find a career path. The “failures” among liberal arts majors are those who spend four years getting a degree in Social Anthropology or Humanistic Studies, didn’t earn a decent GPA while doing so, and never bothered to pursue any sort of internships or other work that would flesh out a resume. That is why schools that have strong coop and internship programs are doing so well.
You’ve taken the courses I assume that would lead to pharmacy tech certification. Now go take a practice test and sign up for the certification exam. You don’t have to do that through the school.
I think you need to see someone to help you get this in perspective and get your anxiety under control.
Also if you can’t switch schools you can probably use your courses towards another program. At my community college many of the programs have almost identical pre-reqs.
You didn’t waste time -this can be fixed.
As the other posts above have said, there are really two issues here.
It sounds like you might be suffering from a bit of depression. This is a VERY common medical condition. The medical community has gotten a lot better at dealing with it over the years. You should see a psychologist and/or psychiatrist and get appropriate treatment. Most schools have people that you can see for free or at a very reasonable cost. Once this is treated effectively, everything else will be easier.
There is also the academic issue regarding what is your best path going forward. Definitely you have not wasted two years. You have spent two years exploring a sensible career path at a reasonable cost, and you have gained academic credits which on the most part can be carried with you to a four year university. I agree with others that you should talk to an academic counselor at your school. It is very likely that you will want to transfer, quite possibly to an in-state public university in whatever state you live in that has the major and certification that you want. You might also want to consider other community colleges in your state, or universities in other states. There are a LOT of options for you, and the work that you have done in probably a year and a half of community college will be of value on whatever path you take from here.
Many of us old adults look like we have been very successful in life, often because we actually have been. However, hardly any of us took the most direct and simplest path to get where we are. Part of the reason is that when we started we didn’t know where we were trying to go, and also we didn’t have the Internet to help give us some advice. Life is not a race. You are not at an end. You are at a place along your path where it makes sense to think about what to do next, but there are lots of options for you and you just need to find the one that works for next year.
I majored in journalism and have been employed as a writer for the entirety of my still-going, 20+ year career. I currently work for large corporation as a senior-level editorial professional in its digital creative group. I work with writing and art majors every day. When my husband switched jobs and was out of work for year, I supported my family. With my writing job. My own son wants to major in English and writing and I’m encouraging him to do so.
Perhaps pharmacy is not what you truly want to pursue. Fortunately, you can stop for a moment, take a breath, and really consider that. It’s okay to change your mind! I attended a liberal arts college and we didn’t declare a major until the end of sophomore year.
If pharmacy is still what you want to do, cool! Focus on what you’ve accomplished at community college and make plans for next steps. If pharmacy is not what you want to do, research how your community college credits might transfer if you seek a different major and take it from there.