The title just about say’s it, pretty much after high school I was pressured by my parents and sister to start attending college; community college preferably because its pretty much the same education as a public four year institution just cheaper tuition, and then after that transfer over. From day one It wasn’t what I originally would have thought, I mean I went in there with the mindset that maybe there is hope for a better future in terms of making friends and what not because in High school I didn’t click in with many of the social groups.
Now through time, many failed endeavors in trying to meet people to socialize with, and working crappy manual laborer jobs throughout this time period I came to realize that in reality what matters more is my education and transferring over. At first I was aiming to get the AA associates, but after time I realized it would be more practical for me to obtain an AS instead because the sciences are more relevant to the job market, and because I actually started to like most of my sciences courses.
Fast forward three years after my first day at community college, I’m at my last semester because throughout that time I was working full time so I wasn’t able to attend full time, unhappy with my life, mental health going down the toilet, 22 years old, and I just don’t see the point in transferring over to a university anymore. What does my daily routine consist of now? study, home, work crappy temp agency jobs, repeat. I just don’t see how I can make any friends at this point anymore. I know attending community college factors in to the reason as to why I haven’t made any friends at all, because it’s a commuter college, but the thing is even then I see some people socializing and having fun which makes me feel like a complete failure at meeting people. And If I cant even make any friends now in community college, then what hope do I have in making connections at a four year university, that would then help me out in my career? Because the reality of it is, is that career wise the jobs are obtained by connections.
Not only that but I am starting to hate this place the closer I get to obtaining my associates; its just full of smug people who think they are smarter than everyone, and as soon as I try to initiate friendly conversations with them, they look at me like ■■■ is wrong with this guy? I just don’t like my life at all right now, I talk to no one or anything not even my siblings because I have recently had a tense fallout with her. I barely get any work anymore. No life. Play video games a lot. The only thing I got going in it for me is that I recently started making progress at the gym, that’s it period. This right here pretty much sums up my last three years of my life, If you can even call it one. Ive noticed my mental health is going down the toilet as I now get irritated over the smallest of things, and people don’t like making eye contact with me that’s how I know they can see my mental illness in my eyes. That’s it my life is over. I just don’t see any point in obtaining my bachelors anymore because even then a job is not guaranteed, much less if you don’t have any connections, and do I have any connections? nope. At this point if feels like being happy with life, obtaining a job related to my field of study, making friends, just seem simply beyond my grasp in another universe. I don’t want to go to any psychologist because really all that ever is is a waste of money. any advice would be grateful, thanks to those who have made it this far, put up with my whinning, and read the entire post.