I have 2 "passions?" What should I write in the ComApp?

College Essays
1

A passion of mine (you can hear the AdComms cringe) is helping the disadvantaged. I want to take the experience that I have gained living in the less-endowed parts of Amman, Jordan last summer, as well as my experience with my high school (a charter school that is lottery-based), and combine the two, in order to offer a quality education to people so they can break out of the vicious cycle of poverty leading to a poor education leading to poverty.

I also have a, wince, passion for medicine. I want good medicine to be available to everyone. Idealistic? Sure. But nothing ever came about without ideas.

SO. I have spent many hours at an outreach program at a nearby church (Catholic Relief Services), helping pack food and clothes and disseminate them to non-English-speaking Latino immigrants. I have worked with students in different grades in an elementary school to get them excited about learning.

I have volunteered at two separate hospitals for a considerable amount of time, seeing a novel idea at play: both rich and not so rich people, sitting in comfortable chairs, worrying about their loved ones. I have job shadowed my family pediatrician and seen the smiles exchanged between doctor and patient as the latter is assured that their child will be fine, because it’s just a nagging cold.

As you can see, I am already conflicted. I have two things I really am interested in and that make me feel fulfilled and happy, even from the limited scope of the jobs that I have been able to see. I don’t know how to pick. I don’t know if saying I’m undecided will hurt me in my applications to HYPS and other top schools.

However, I have also heard that 30%+ of hopeful Stanford applicants say they’re going pre-med. If that’s the case, then will applying with a pre-medical intention homogenize me and make me stand out less, since I then become one of many thousands of just as qualified medical hopefuls?

Any advice is very, very welcome, and much appreciated.

P.S.: If the Jordan thing threw you off, let me clarify: I do not live in Jordan.

2

tentative bump?..

Can someone answer haha :smiley:

3

Don’t be too anxious for replies this weekend. People may be busy with the holiday.

The actual topic is, to a large degree, less important than the essay that comes out of it. Write up both and show them to your English teacher, counselor, respected adult friends, etc and get their opinion. Sometimes you think that both topics are equally valid but one essay just works out better. If you’re applying to selective schools you’re likely to need additional essays anyway.

4

That makes a lot of sense. Thank you for your reply.

If I may ask, would it hurt my application to add things under my activities that don’t have much to do with either of those two passions? For example, I’ve volunteered with Raleigh Parks and Rec, Triangle Land Conservancy, Farms of the Future, I have a job at Cookout… etc. Or should I just add them and have the AdComms make of them what they will, and just make sure my essay(s) encompass(es) me? @Otterma

5

@mohammadmohd18 I would organize your essay with “passion for volunteering” as the central theme and then provide examples of how you have you have fulfilled that drive and how various kinds of volunteering has contributed to your desire to become a physician. Then you’re telling a coherent story that combines both interests.

6

Thank you for responding, @mamaedefamilia. Hope you’re having a good Thanksgiving!

So, it sounds like you’re saying that I should center my app around “I want to help people, and therefore I want to be a physician, as evidenced by X, Y, and Z,” and lean away from the charter school for disadvantaged kids idea? I was leaning more toward the physician one myself, but that doesn’t mean I don’t believe in the second any less. Is there any way I can somehow include both in my application (not in one essay, of course. That would be catastrophic)?

7

I think you could do both.

thesis: I have a passion for helping people
supporting evidence: community tutoring/education advocacy and physician shadowing
conclusion: My volunteer work has shaped what I want to study - medicine. If space permits and it doesn’t seem forced, you could also mention that you intend to continue to volunteer with at risk populations attain their educational goals at whatever college community you end up at.

Effective statements offer a compelling story about who you are. It is better to write a memorable story than to include every last detail, especially if you can document your activities in another form like a resume or list of supplemental activities.

8

!!! That is so helpful! Thank you so much :slight_smile: Would I write that in my Personal Statement on the ComApp or… where? There’s so many prompts from top colleges, and I’m not sure where I’d write something like that. @mamaedefamilia

9

Except, it’s meant to be a nice tale (some use the word “narrative,”) that *shows * the attributes they want. Not you just telling them.

This isn’t like an ordinary hs essay. Youve really got to dig into what your targets want to see, what they say. Then form it to show them.

10

Yep :slight_smile: @lookingforward. I’ve already started drafting my PS; I’ll have to adapt it (which I was going to do a lot anyway). Thank you for the advice

11

Tell a nice tale that engages the reader. Form it to show your compassion and curiosity, this willingness to engage. The way you note your activities in this thread is so much better than the last one. Keep at it.

12

You need to tell a story. You aren’t actually trying to persuade them of anything EXCEPT that you are an interested and interesting person who would add something unique to the campus community. Be careful about sweeping pronouncements and generalities.

13

@lookingforward Haha I did learn something from you in that thread, after all. And will do, @intparent

14

My thoughts:

  1. Being interested in starting your own charter school is, to me, more compelling than wanting to be a doctor. I feel like every third high-schooler wants to be a doctor. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course.

  2. Being undecided doesn’t put you at a disadvantage when applying to top schools. Many of them say this explicitly on their websites. Even if you said today that you wanted to be a doctor you could change your mind by the time you started.

  3. Most people have many interests and passions. That simply makes you human. Nobody expects you to have everything all figured out at 16-17 years old. College is one of the things that helps you make sense out of those interests and decide which ones become a career and which ones are intense hobbies or side interests or later careers.

  4. Education and medicine are not incompatible or mutually exclusive. I used to teach a summer program in public health, and one of my favorite field trips was to the Harlem Children’s Zone, a charter school in Harlem for low-income kids. The founder realized that kids cannot concentrate and do well in school if they don’t have good healthcare, so they set up a free children’s clinic inside the school that provided primary medical and dental care for the kids. Another nice field trip was a dentist who ran a mobile pediatric dental clinic - he drove it to low-income areas and provided low-cost services to children who needed dental care. You might decide you want to become a clinician who teaches patients and communities about proper health and prevention, a doctor who does travel medicine in resource-poor areas, a doctor who teaches medical school or allied health workers in resource poor areas, or a professor of medicine or nursing.

15

@juillet,
First off, thank you for responding. :slight_smile: I have some questions…

  1. Do you think that if I wrote my Personal Statement about the whole physician thing (and what experiences led me to want to pursue that) and then wrote a supplemental essay about wanting to start a charter school, that they would contradict? The AdComms might say, “How did he segue from wanting to be a physician to wanting to start a charter school for disadvantaged kids?”

  2. While it may not be a disadvantage, per se, if I declare that I’m undecided, it won’t help my application. A physician-to-be might raise a red flag or two if he is not entirely sure about declaring a major in HumBio or something.

  3. Putting aside the whole college admissions spiel, do you think it would be strange for me to major in something medically related, while fulfilling the pre-med requirements, all while minoring in something seemingly unrelated (education, or something related to the charter school)?

Those marriages between medicine and education are so interesting! Thank you for the insight!

16

Supplemental meaning in addition to what they asked for? Do NOT write extra essays. That will not help your application at all.

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No, I mean the specific supplemental essays most selective colleges ask for. @intparent

18

The two ideas are not so disparate, when seen as concern for others and wanting to have positive impact… It’s often two different career paths (doctor vs teacher.) But nothing stops a doctor from being involved in or supporting educational issues or a teacher from advocating for healthcare.

You can look for patterns, not need to draw a firm line between the two. Adcoms care less about specifying career goals than the attributes you offer their communities.

19

Will it hurt me that I don’t have “leadership positions,” per se, in my ECs? There aren’t really many opportunities for that in the organizations/programs I am a part of. I engaged in them to have, as you said, a “positive impact.” @lookingforward

20

You have time to develop more “leadership.” And, this is not just about titles. It has to do with the quality of your actions and commitments (and the vision and energy behind that.) Eg, if wanting to help others led to an ongoing commitment to CRS (and working directly with non-English speakers,) that can be more the spirit than getting a hs title for a fundraiser.