So, I’m currently a freshman in a co-ed University in South Carolina, and during my time here, I’ve been going through some, ah, self-discovery. By that, I mean traumatic memories from my childhood came back, and some of them caused an onset of PTSD, and being around men and boys makes me extremely anxious. I thought I’d be fine anyway, until yesterday, when being around my male lab partner in Chemistry lab made me have a panic attack and the worst flashback I’ve had so far, and now I’m wondering if a good course of action would be to transfer to a women’s college.
My problem is that I have no clue where to start looking. I’m a biology major, pre-med, so I’d need it to be good for that, and I’d also need it to be medium or large. I’m at a small school now, and I ran into an issue in counseling because I wasn’t fond of the only female counselor on campus, and I’m thinking being at a larger school would help with that. I’m not opposed to going far away, but I think I’d rather stay in the East. It’s not a deal breaker if it’s not, provided that it’s not in like… rural Oklahoma or something. Does anyone know of any schools like that?I have no clue where to start looking. When I was applying for colleges, I just checked out ones I heard people at school mentioning, and I do like the one I chose, it’s just that there are only two women’s colleges in state, and I’m not particularly fond of either.
I don’t think there are any medium-to-large women’s colleges. All of the ones I know about are considered “small.” What you possibly could do is choose a women’s college that is in an urban area, so you’d have a lot of choices for counsellors even though you might have to go off campus. But maybe, perhaps, work on these issues. Give yourself some time since you do say you like the college you like. If you were my daughter I’d pull you out after the semester and give you time to process what you’re going through. You can’t avoid male chem partners forever, especially as a doctor.
Try looking at Wellesley, Mount Holyoke, and Smith. All three are in MA and all three are very good schools with excellent reputations and academics, although they are on the “small” side. If the counselling service is something youre interested in, don’t limit yourself to large schools because you can probably find what youre looking for at at least one of those three. Good luck!
I’ll look into them! Mom is considering taking me out for the semester, but I’m not sure.
I’d probably spend at least another semester here, anyway. I doubt it’d be possible to get in for fall at this point.
In the most gentle way possible, I would recommend thinking about taking time off. During that time, you may want to consider what you are feeling. Current research shows that recovered memories (of sexual abuse?) (if I’m understanding your concerns properly) is not substantiated. Memory just doesn’t work that way. It’s not archeological that way. This is not to say that you aren’t experiencing something serious, but perhaps how you’re interpreting it or able to interpret it currently may need adjusting. It’s impossible to say what you’re experiencing from never having met you, but the preponderance of science suggests that something else (serious) is going on, just probably not recovered memories and PTSD, as this is almost an impossibility for anyone. You may want to take an internship semester or time off to work or to do something entirely different, and then return to school.
while i agree with your advice to take time off, @Dustyfeathers, people can recover memories. the brain can make itself forget traumatic events in an effort of self-preservation (it’s a bit more complicated than that but that’s the idea). What research has found is that memories brought to light by, for example, therapists asking about abuse are often not true. when a person is told by a trusted professional or person of authority about a past event, the person will often begin to fabricate memories of the event. eg telling someone they were in a minor accident as a child and the person (as an adult) suddenly recovering memories of the accident even though it didn’t happen.
I’d say take some time off if you can, and for the time being ask about switching lab partners. Talking to someone is definitely important, so maybe you can find someone off campus.
I don’t understand how transferring to an all womens college helps resolve your anxiety, flashbacks or self-discovery. There are plenty of men on all those campuses. Are you saying you are remembering that you were abused by a male?
Women’s colleges that are in consortia or offer cross-registration with other colleges (like Barnard, Bryn Mawr, Scripps, Smith, Mt. Holyoke, etc) are likely to have more men on campus and in classes with you, so you might want to avoid those. Like others have said, all women’s colleges are relatively small. All the ones I can think of have fewer than 3000 students.
I say this as a women’s college grad, and as a mother whose daughter is currently studying at one: switching to a women’s college will not help you. The most helpful thing is to get intensive therapy for your suffering right where you are, and then, when you are feeling stronger, decide if you want to transfer somewhere else.
Even if you do end up going to a women’s college, you will one day have to live and work in a world full of men. You need to learn to do that where you are now.
Sorry I didn’t get back to everyone sooner, I had to go to a hospital for a few days for treatment for my PTSD, depression, and anxiety… I’m feeling somewhat better now and am on medication.
While there, though, my doctor did suggest taking the rest of the semester off and transferring to University of South Carolina, because it’s a bit closer to my home and in an area with more resources. In the meantime, I’ll stay on my medication, get a lot of therapy, and work on seeing if I can get an emotional support animal because my cat calms be down and brings be out of my flashbacks, so hopefully I’ll be able to handle it in the Fall.
Yes, I was recovering past memories of sexual abuse. I was 8 at the time. I’m not in contact with my rapist anymore, nor have I been since then, but only on one occasion has anyone asked me if I had been sexually assaulted/abused in any way, and that was one question from my grandmother after I came out as a lesbian. It was a passing question, and would not have created a false memory. I was not even seeing a therapist at the time I recovered the memories. They came back on their own. An in-class discussion was all that triggered the first one, and the rest came back of their own accord. Nothing could have created a false memory.
Everyone, thank you for your support!
Look into Agnes Scott (Spelman?).
Chatham is still accepting applications but it’s very small, in Pittsburgh.
You need to get yourself in targeted therapy ASAP. Generally speaking the physiological service offered through colleges to students are pretty general and limited to certain number of sessions. You need your own therapist who will follow your case over the long term. I hope they set you up someone before discharging you from the hospital. Transferring schools may or may not help. Interesting that the doc felt you should transfer closer to home. Was he/she suggesting you move back into your family home? Maybe for more support? Im not sure taking time off or transferring is the answer. This situation will follow you to a new school.
The absolute worst coping strategy for anxiety is avoidance. Your current school has nothing to do with the trauma and conflating non-related situations is pathological in trauma issues. If you want to cement chronic PTSD transfer to a women’s college and major in gender studies.
The advice above is good. Therapy will be more helpful than medication (although medication is helpful). Get a private therapist outside of the college, preferably one who does some version of cognitive-behavioral therapy. Avoid wacky therapists (e.g. past-life regression). Avoid emotional support animals for anxiety. Consider a support group if available. Transferring schools would make sense to me only if you cannot get proper therapy where you are now.
Whether you take time off is debatable. Because you are premed you don’t want your grades to suffer while you work through issues. However, taking time off is the ultimate avoidance strategy and the longer you are off, the less likely you will return at all or continue with pre-med studies. If you do want to become a doctor, you should resolve trauma issues of your own because you will be immersed in those of others often (outside of some specialties).
The ideal situation would be continuing in your current school, continue medications while getting therapy, and keep your grades up. If you are unable to do all of that, then something has to budge.