College for Borderline Personality Disorder

Parents Forum
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<p>Hey, I am new to posting, but I have lurked for awhile and this seems like it is a pretty good site so I might as well try my luck here.</p>

<p>I also posted this on the College Search & Selection Forum, and one poster directed me here for advice.</p>

<p>I have Borderline Personality Disorder. I feel like I don't have any friends because everyone always betrays/abandons me. I cycle between depression, anxiety, and total self confidence on a day to day basis. Stuff like that. I have tried different therapists but didn't really like any of them. I never feel like the medications they give me help me any, but I keep going back to my psychiatrist because I don't know what else to do. Any advice on coping, getting better from this, etc. would be greatly appreciated.</p>

<p>But my real question is: Where should I go to college? I think I am a lot better than I used to be, but I still have problems. My initial inclination is to go Northeast or to the West Coast (I am from the South), but would being far from home be bad? I don't have any ties to home like friends in high school and my family is generally not supportive. My mother is kind of neglectful and leaves me to deal with things on my own, and I try to remember that it's not her fault because she is working hard to support us as a single parent, but sometimes it's just hard. I really don't want to stay near home because that's where everyone in my high school is and I really want to have a fresh start, a new chance at making friends. I want to go somewhere that would be nurturing and help me figure out what I want to do with my life while I try to get better. Really, the only thing that would keep me in the South is my boyfriend who is in college about an hour from my home. He is very supportive of me in general. Sometimes I feel paranoid and think that he hates me and doesn't care about me but I know it is just the disorder talking. My relationship with him is my best relationship that I can remember. I really just want to make some friends though, as I haven't had a friend who is a girl in so long. I would just go to BF's school, but I think it is silly to place so much value on a relationship so young, and many people from my high school go there too.</p>

<p>So yeah, it seems like everyone puts stats on here so here are mine. If I leave anything out, I'm sorry, just tell me and I'll let you know.</p>

<p>White female from the South
High School Type: public, never sent anyone to a better school than a couple of small in-state LAC's that are not well-known
Grade: Senior
High School Rank: 5/600ish, hopefully I will move up a few spots by the end of the year
High School GPA: 3.85 uw, 4.9 w
SAT: 750 M, 650 CR, 680 W (did not study at all)
SAT II (taken for a scholarship): 680 USHist, 740 M1 (did not study)
AP's: 5 Biology, 4 English Lit, 5 Calc AB; taking USHist, Psych, and Stat this year
HS Courseload: All honors and AP's, except for some CP requirements for HS diploma and newspaper/band classes that qualify as CP; also took Latin and French
EC's: high school newspaper ed-in-chief (along with other positions on staff over past few years), played in marching band all through high school-band placed as high as 6th at state competition (not looking to continue though), president of school's Young Democrats, secretary for Environmental Awareness Club-help collect school's recycling every week, Gay/Straight Alliance, volunteered at a day camp for one summer, self-studied some Japanese for a couple years
Awards: NM Commended Student, a few community honors for being a distinguished student, AP Scholar, Academic Honor Society
Job Experience: worked last summer at Rite Aid
Recs: will be really good, from newspaper adviser who adores me and Calc teacher who says I am the smartest student he's ever taught (not to brag or anything, sorry if it sounds like it)
Essays: should be good</p>

<p>Possible Major: dunno, I like the humanities and social sciences a lot but I really have no idea</p>

<p>College type: LAC; in Northeast or on West Coast, although I might consider the Midwest too actually; not super urban; less than 5000 students; excellent academics overall; helpful professors; no fraternity party atmosphere please; no super religious schools as I am not religious; good, supportive counseling program I suppose?</p>

<p>Thanks for your help and sorry again if I forgot something, as I am new and all.</p>

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<p>Oh, and another thing I forgot to add:</p>

<p>I was thinking about all women's colleges--Would they be beneficial or not to me? I really want a close group of girlfriends and I feel like it might be easier with no guys around. I dunno, maybe I'm completely wrong. Advice?</p>

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<p>It would be a long trip and a big school, but the University of Washington is the center of the universe for excellent work with individuals who are diagnosed with BPD. Marsha Linehan's DBT program is highly effective and that community (Seattle) has lot of related resources and you might well qualify for their Honors program. That said, you might be "diagnosing" yourself prematurely, while still accurately describing things you struggle with right now. You deserve a chance to work on issues you name and your thoughts about a small supportive college make a lot of sense. If you want to stay in the South, Sweet Briar has always sounded interesting to me. And if venturing north is good, definitely look at Smith. And you might find the website DBTSelfHelp interesting and a place you could post questions about supportive academic climates too.</p>

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<p>mmaah-I actually do have the BPD diagnosis from a couple doctors, since about a year ago. For a long time I was told I was bipolar, but after hearing the BPD diagnosis and doing some research, I found out it completely describes my symptoms.</p>

<p>I'm just scared I would get lost in the crowd at a big school like U Washington. But I will definitely check it out.</p>

<p>Oh, and I was looking at Smith and it really jumped out at me. Does anyone know any similar schools that also have what I'm looking for, women's or co-ed? Thanks.</p>

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<p>here are some small schools where you can make good friends for life:
Marlboro, Hampshire, New College of Florida</p>

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<p>Take a look at Scripps College in California. It's a women's college but is one of the Claremont Colleges, so in some ways it's the best of both worlds. I have heard that it is very nurturing. But hurry, hurry - I believe that the application deadline is Jan. 1.</p>

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<p>Maybe what is more important than where the college is, is how long it would take you to get home, and how affordable the trip is. Even if you think your mom is not as close as she could be, you will miss the comfortable situation of home. I also think you will miss your boyfriend more than you realize.</p>

<p>The idea of moving into new relationships is fine, but they will be new; you won't be able to count on these new friends the way you can count on your established relationships. If the new relationships falter, it will worsen the BPD, won't it? So you need to stay grounded and in touch with your family, boyfriend and psychiatrist.</p>

<p>I think your idea of a women's college is a good one, but so many LACs are heavily female that you may want to include them. The midwest is known for being welcoming and not judgmental- give us a look! Beloit College (90 minutes from Chicago's O'Hare airport) is one that I would recommend, and you should not have trouble getting in. Good luck in your search!</p>

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<p>From what I hear the best treatment for BPD in the US is in New York City. Contact me via PM if interested in more info.</p>

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<p>Maybe look into vassar or one of the other "seven sisters"?</p>

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<p>FWIW, DSM-IV is just a research (and billing tool), but it DOES usually preclude making a personality disorder diagnosis before the age of 18 for a reason....</p>

<p>BTW, my D doesn't have any special needs (beyond whatever being URM might entail) but she loved Scripps. Smith and Spelman a little less so.</p>

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<p>As Miktau said, you should look at the Seven Sisters. I go to Vassar and I'm bipolar (recently diagnosed) and the Disability Support Services office and counseling department here has been great. The professors here are also incredibly understanding about mental health issues - to be honest, they're fairly prevalent here, so they have to be. I don't know if you're like me, but keeping busy is basically my key to holding onto my sanity, and Vassar really allows you to do that. And I'm not kidding when I say that people here understand "crazy." If you have any questions, please PM me!</p>

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<p>It's great that your boyfriend is supportive, and those who have friends/family with borderline personality disorder seem to report that having a significant other who "gets" you is very helpful, but I would not pin my stability on any one person at this stage in life, especially a person so young. Chances are that both you and your BF have a lot of growing to do.</p>

<p>I think that the women's colleges are a good idea. The women at those schools tend to form very strong friendships, and the schools are in general supportive of female friendship and achievement. </p>

<p>Agnes Scott is in the south, and may be closer to your family if that is a positive. It is also VERY small. </p>

<p>I'd take a look at Mt Holyoke, Smith, Bryn Mawr, and Wellesley, all of which are the typical LAC size and have superior academics. They are also affiliated with coed schools through cross-registration, which enables you to have the best of both worlds, so to speak.</p>

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<p>Another school to consider is Sarah Lawrence, In Bronxville, NY. Lots of good mental health resources are available in the area.</p>

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<p>I also get the sense that one of the women's colleges might be your best bet. Your stats should make you competitive at all of them.</p>

<p>Three of the seven sisters ar in MA. Smith is probably best known for its level of diversity and acceptance. It is located in Northampton, which is a great college town; and it is part of the 5-college consortium with Mt Holyoke, Amherst, Hampshire and UMass/Amherst. Students can take courses at any of the five schools, and there is a free inter-campus bus. Mt Holyoke is lovely, but a little more isolated. Wellesley is in eastern MA, south of Boston, which is a college mecca. Wellesley is home to the famous Stone Center which is noted for research and therapy on relational issues, so that might be a good resource for you.</p>

<p>Bryn Mawr in PA prides itself on being a very diverse, politically aware, and creative community. It is a little bit closer to home for you, and is only a short train ride from Philly.</p>

<p>As noted by one of the earlier posters, Agnes Scott which is closer to your neck of the woods is also very well respected. I have a friend who went there years ago, and she still has very strong connections to her classmates and the college as a whole.</p>

<p>Barnard, which is affiliated with Columbia, is in NYC. I suspect that the city might be a little too intense for you so I'd stay away from there. Vassar used to be a women's college but no longer is. Radcliffe was absorbed into Harvard years ago. That pretty much rounds out the Seven Sisters - and their southern cousin Agnes Scott.</p>

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<p>I think Smith would be a very good choice for you, and you'll have a pretty good chance to get in. Choose your recommenders carefully, ask teachers who love you, and appreciate you for who you are.</p>