I haven't been doing so well in college. I feel hopeless and defeated. Any advice?

Parents Forum
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(I posted this in another thread, but I meant to put it in this thread.)

Hello everyone,

I just need to vent my feelings. I just feel so hopeless. I would really appreciate it if you take the time to read this. I’m going into my third year of college, and so far I haven’t been doing very well. I am majoring in Biology with intentions of becoming a Physician Assistant. I have been doing poorly in pretty much all my science classes. So far I have received two C’s in my Biology courses, two C’s in my math courses, and a D in General Chemistry. So far, I will definitely have to retake two of my sciences since they are the prerequisites for PA school, and most schools require that you have a B or higher in the prerequisite courses. I just don’t how I’m going to make it to PA school or even get through it if I am having such a hard time in my undergraduate science courses. I feel like my biggest problems are procrastination and time management. For example, if I know that I have an exam coming up in the next two or three weeks I tell myself “Oh I have enough time”. Then I wait until about five days before the exam to start studying. I cram so much of the material in such a short amount of time that I hardly remember everything, and then I end up not doing so well on the exam. Then I tell myself, “Oh I’ll do better on the next exam”. Then I end up doing the same thing I did for the last exam. I keep falling into this trap of procrastination and not using my time wisely. I know I should be studying for my classes or an exam for a few hours each day from day one instead of waiting until the last minute, but it’s just hard for me to get the motivation to study. Another bad habit I do is, I’ll tell myself “Okay I need to start studying for my upcoming Biology exam”. I’ll go on my laptop to start going through the power point slides my professor went through for the day and relistening to the lecture that the professor posts online. I’ll do that for like 30 minutes then I decide to surf the net for hours on end. I know I shouldn’t be doing this, but it’s hard to break this habit.

I get so jealous when my fellow classmates or friends do well on an exam and I do poorly. I also get upset when I score below average on an exam. I get jealous because they are are getting the results that I want and are on a better path towards grad school. I also get upset because I know that I’m capable of doing better. My assigned lab partner and I for my Microbiology lab this past Fall 2016 semester decided to exchange numbers to help each other out with lab stuff. I kind of struggled in lab, but he helped me out so much and was very patient with me which I am very grateful for. Biology labs at my university are intertwined with lecture. A few days after our third lecture exam, my lab partner and I were working in a group with a few other students for an experiment and he asks, “What did you guys think of the third exam?” We were all talking about it, and then he brings up the second exam which many people thought was very hard and since the raw average was low, the professor had to give a huge curve for that exam. He said, “Everyone thought the second exam was hard, but I didn’t think it was that hard. And with the huge curve the professor gave I did phenomenal”. After he said that I was curious to know how he did on the first and third exam. He said he got a B- on the third and I believe he said he also got a B on the first exam. He didn’t say what his score was on the second exam, but if he said he did phenomenal I’m guessing he probably got like a 97 or 98. I just got irritated because he scored well above average on the exam that many people thought was hard and did pretty solid on the other exams and I was doing poorly. He was also doing well in lab. After the final grades were posted for the class, he texted me to ask me how did I do in the class? I got a C+ but lied and told him I got a B because I was discouraged to tell him I got a C because I assumed he got a good grade in the class, which he did. He told me “I actually did wind up getting an A. I studied 6-8 hours a day for a week for the final so I scored quite well.” I told him good job, but deep down inside I was frustrated because I wanted an A in the class. I know I shouldn’t be jealous of how he did because he worked so hard and I didn’t and he helped me out so much in lab and was a nice guy, and is a pre-med student so he has to get good grades, but I can’t overcome my jealousy. He ended up making the Dean’s list for the first time in Fall 2016 and once again this past Winter 2017.

So far my overall GPA is a 3.0. My science GPA is a 2.5. I already know I’m going to lose my scholarship again. I say again because it was pulled from me after my first year for not meeting the GPA requirement of 3.3 after only having a 3.0. I appealed it and luckily the Financial Aid Office gave it back to me to give me a second chance. They made it very clear in their email that this was a one-time exception. Once again I didn’t make the GPA requirement and now my scholarship is going to be taken away for good which it should. They gave me a second chance to raise my GPA, and I still haven’t done that. They’re not going to give me any more chances because the scholarship could’ve been given to someone who was going to take it more seriously. And they’re going to think I’m full of it because I stated in my appeal letter a plan to improve my grades, and they’re going to think I haven’t followed through with that plan. Now I have to solely rely on financial aid and student loans to pay for my tuition. It’s discouraging because I did so well in high school. I maintained a 3.9 GPA in high school and was number seven in my class of 120 students. Once I got to college, everything went downhill. College is definitely harder than high school. Especially being a science major. I asked myself “Is the medical field the path I really want to go towards?”. I can’t see myself doing anything else, I would love to save people’s lives and help those in need. I know I shouldn’t be jealous of anyone doing well in college because the only person I can blame is myself. It’s not their fault that I’m doing poorly it’s my fault. They’re obviously putting in the effort and trying their hardest and I’m not. And I know I shouldn’t compare myself to other people, but it’s hard not to because they’re doing things I want. I just feel so discouraged and am developing low self-confidence. I feel like I’m wasting time, money, and my life by not doing well in college. Sorry I made you read all this, but I just needed to pour my feelings out. This is how I feel and this is what I went through. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I would love to hear your advice.

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Hey there, not a parent but I had the same problems as you when I was in high school. Sounds like you need a planner! I’m not sure about the policy of this website regarding linking things, but I would try Habitica. It’s a free app that lets you set up daily tasks in a gamelike atmosphere. It sounds strange but I personally found the virtual “rewards”/points the app awards you for achieving a task you create is a pretty good motivator.

Otherwise, I would get rid of distractors. If it’s video games or a website like reddit that distracts you, there are apps out there that allows you to self restrict them. IIRC, firefox allows for you to block websites and although it seems almost childish to do so, it may help.

I wish you luck!

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Switch majors to something you love. Retake the science courses at a community college after you graduate. Pursue a second BS in nursing or Athletic sciences. If your science gpa is that low, but your overall gpa is higher, then this tells me you can excel in another field. The world needs health care workers who have empathy, understanding, cultural awareness, and know how to act ethically. Take off the blinders you’ve been wearing for the past three years! I think you need to find something you love, as well as work on improving your work habits. Or take a year off and work – most universities will allow students to take a gap year in the middle of their studies.

You’ll get there.

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I saw my sister at a party Saturday night. She’s lost something like 30 pounds since Christmas. I’m so envious… there’s absolutely no reason that I didn’t join Weight Watchers when she did and lose some weight. Hey, even 20 pounds and you could have called me “thin.”

But that envy does me absolutely no good. I can tell you with absolute certainty that in about an hour I’m going to treat myself to one of the ice cream cones in the freezer for Memorial Day.

See my point?? Envying the result, without the resolve to get there, is wasted energy. I wish my house were clean, I wish the laundry was done, yet here I sit at the computer.

Do you WANT to be a Physician’s Assistant? Or is it a cheaper route than medical school towards a career in medicine? Do you want a career in medicine?

Is this about ability or desire or poor study habits?

I think you have to determine:
a. Whether you want this badly enough to make some changes.
b. If not, what do you see yourself loving enough that you’re willing to work for it?
c, If so, then take the steps that others have mentioned.

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OP- you won’t believe me, but there are millions of people in the world doing good for mankind and society who have never taken a college chem or bio class.

Give yourself a break- both emotionally and literally. Take a semester off. You don’t need a college degree in most places to become an EMT. (they save lots of lives). You don’t need to take bio and chem to become a social worker who counsels opiod addicts. (they save lots of lives). You don’t need to get into grad school to work at City Year or Americorps or another program that works with disadvantaged children whose safety net has failed them.

take a break. You need a reboot. Maybe your motivation levels and ability to focus and study would come back if you really enjoyed what you were learning!!!

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“I just don’t how I’m going to make it to PA school or even get through it if I am having such a hard time in my undergraduate science courses.”

This is a BIG question. Because, here’s the thing, they don’t get easier I’m afraid.

My kid is also a biology major. She’s getting her BS in Microbio, doing a pre-med track. Two years of calc, two years of physics, two years of organic chem, tons of difficult bio (but to her credit, she LOVES the difficult bio and has natural aptitude for it) She loved Genetics, Microbio, Cell and Molecular bio, BioChem.

Organic Chem, not so much. She just squeeked through her Orgo 2 class with a grade that wasn’t great, but good enough for her program…on her second try. (so yes, even really excellent students hit tough spots now and then. you can power through them if your heart’s there and you really want it)

For many premed hopefuls Orgo is a big stumbling block. Be mindful of that The occasional weirdo loves Orgo…but for the most part students get knocked a little off balance by it.

Reading your post, the thought occurred to me that you should consider being a Registered Nurse. While people often think of it as a community college two year degree…to get decent hospital jobs outside of nursing homes, you really need an advanced degree where you can choose a specialty. Registered Nurses are very well paid, and have almost limitless career options. (don’t be an EMT…EMT’s are awesome people, but it’s a hobby career for veterans and ex cops and ex firefighters. While it is tremendously important work, It will never be a living wage, and a strong back and adrenaline addiction is necessary)

Being an RN specializing in surgery, or orthopedics, or even a nurse practicianer…could be a terrific compromise.

My advice…

  1. Look at the GPA's of people getting accepted to PA school. Consider if you think you'll ever be competitive. Look at the classes you'll have to take in the future. Are you up to it?
  2. Don't marry yourself to the idea of being a PA until you've passed Physiology and Organic Chemistry.
    .
  3. Do some volunteer work shadowing a PA. You need to appreciate what the actual work is like, to fully understand if you want to do it. it will either light your fire to buckle down.....or it will put the flame out and let you move on.
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I think a nursing degree is an awesome idea too…but keep in mind that nursing degrees ALSO require a lot of science courses and are pretty competitive because of the nursing faculty shortage. A student with a 2.5 science GPA will struggle to get into a BSN program.

OP, I agree that if you have no motivation to study, you need to examine if maybe it is the subject matter and whether you should change your major to something you would actually enjoy - or at least not dread. Procrastination is its own problem, but if you don’t like what you are studying that’ll compound the problem.

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As others have said, you can save lives and help those in need doing something else.

What do you actually enjoy learning about? It seems like your grades in your non-science classes must be fairly good if your overall GPA is higher than your science GPA. Why not change your major to something you actually like?

I knew a girl in college who was a bio major with the intention of going to med school, for the same reason as you – she wanted to help people and make a difference. In her senior year she changed majors and became an Italian major. She did have to take a heavy course load in order to graduate on time, but she didn’t care because she was studying Italian, which she loved! Last I heard of her she had gone on to Georgetown law school – and a few years ago I saw her being interviewed on TV, and the caption below her name read “ACLU attorney.” That’s a job in which one definitely helps people and makes a difference!

My point is just that it’s never too late to change course if it’s in order to do something you really want to do. I highly doubt that you are in love with science, since it sounds like you’d rather do almost anything else other than study it!

Do you have the same procrastination problems when it comes to your humanities and social science classes? When you register for your next semester’s classes, do you actually get excited about any of them? Which ones? That should be a clue. And if you don’t get excited about any of them at all, maybe that’s a clue too.

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@MaryGJ @julliet @IntegrityCounts

Thank you guys for your advice. However, I’m just curious. Why do you suggest that I should consider becomining a Registered Nurse instead of a Physician Assistant?

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I suggested it because I think you need to to explore what you really want to do in medicine, and nursing is a terrific place to build a medical career. Lots of PAs and even MDs start in nursing. Core classes for being an RN should be a little less demanding. You’ll get exposure to different types of nursing in your practical rotation. You can then do your bachelors in any nursing field you’d like, this could prove useful if there are some areas that are more difficult for you and some you are more suited for. You could still become a PA or a nurse practitioner (they have a similar salary…nurse practitioners actually do a little better than PAs in most regions) Going through a nursing program track, you are assured that you’re pursuing a career you really want to do because you’ll get some practical experience in a hospital quicker, and be able to figure out which areas of medicine you’re most interested in. Reciprocally…you will rapidly find out if medicine is not for you. While nursing will still have demanding science, the pace can be adjusted and there are more ways up the mountain so to speak, more flexability. Lots of incentives/scholarships for nursing, too. Just for the hell of it…look up the program guide at your university for an RN track and PA track and see how they differ. Also, while being competitive is still a major factor, there are exponentially more nursing programs than PA programs…nursing is more forgiving.

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Two other things that come to mind are: Study Skills, and particularly whether you are in the right major with the right goal.

You talked about “surf the net for hours on end”. This makes it sound as if you are not fully 100% in love with what you are studying. It is VERY common for students at your point to have not yet found what they actually want to do. Most students change their major after starting university.

Are there any courses (inside or outside of your major) that you have particularly loved?

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Someone that has issues with procrastination will have them even if they do something they love unless “that something” is hands on or immediately engaging. No matter what you decide to study you will still have to fulfill work that might be boring or not immediately engaging. I suggest you try to improve your study skills regardless and find out what could help you avoid procrastination. Moving to an easier major does not always solve the problem as you can procrastinate and do sub par work in easier classes. You just have to work in creating the structure around you that would “force” you to procrastinate less. There are a lot of strategies you could try or you can ask your school’s counselling center for help. Finding ways to become more productive will be valuable no matter what major or carreer you end up following.

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Do they have counselors at your school? Schools often have programs and counseling to help students with study skills. That might be something to try.

Also, a lot of schools offer tutoring. Often students wait until they are in trouble before arranging one. Of course then they are already behind. Next semester how about arranging a tutor for the 2-3 classes that you anticipate will be most difficult. Work diligently with the tutor from the beginning to get on top the material. I think that would help.

The internet surfing is a difficult one. It is completely addictive and destructive. And a student often needs to be on the computer for their work, so they can’t really avoid being a click away from distraction. I would suggest talking to a counselor about this. I’m sure there are things one can do to lessen their dependence on internet surfing.

One more off-the-wall suggestion is nature. We really didn’t evolve to sit in small rooms and look at digital displays. Try to go for one good walk outside, in the most natural place that is convenient, every day. Try to get outside on weekends. Take time to notice everything around you–the trees, the sky, the landscape. I know someone for whom nature was a great tonic for a computer game addiction.

You are young. You obviously have done well in some of your classes.I hope school remains financially viable. Just try some of these things and try to stay away from internet sites that are draining your time. Good luck!

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@Devin2019 you are gettin some good suggestions from others. Another good health career path to check into is public health. You also mentioned that you are afraid of losing your scholarship and having to take out loans for your tuition. As a dependent student, you can get federal loans of $6500 sophomore year, $7500 junior and senior years yourself. Amounts above that would have to borrowed or cosigned by a parent, or another willing adult. How much would you need to borrow if your scholarship is lost?