<p>Okay, so I'm new here to begin. My name's Shannen. I'm 18 and going to Peace College in Raleigh, NC in the fall.
My problem: I know I can get a lot of financial aid because both of my parents are out of work and have been for almost a year. There seems to be very little in their bank account and that helps me. However, my parents are unaware of my plans after graduation. I plan on moving in with my boyfriend and commute to school every day. Soon after I move in, we are going to get married. My parents don't know anything about this and I am afraid to tell them and am afraid that they will not want to help me financially if they find out my plans. Also, will I get less aid from my school if I don't live on campus and say that I am married? It is a private college and I know that without aid and work study, I cannot pay my tuition and books and insurance, not to mention rent and living costs.
Any suggestions?
Thanks,
the newbie</p>
<p>I am going to be right upfront with you, You are very foolish and maybe not ready for college. Just because your parents don’t have money does not mean you are entitlted to lots of financial aid. The aid may come in the form of loans and if you were lucky and smart, some grants and scholarships. Once you are married, you are now considered independent and your FA in the future will depend on your spouses income and assets as well. Your parents may not feel any reponsibility towards your education, because you are now technically someone else’s problem.</p>
<p>I would not jump into the kind of plans you are entertaining. Your education should come first and I think your parents would agree. You cannot expect them to be happy with your plan and it is certainly not fair to them or yourself to get married at such a young age. You will be robbing yourself of an opportunity to grow and expand and the experience of learning to take care of yourself as well as how to manage independently. Especially as a young woman in this society, it is so important for you to find you own essence without the responsibility of marriage and all the things that go into that type of committment.
Why don’t you give yourself time before you get married. College can open you eyes to a lot of possibilities. Marriage can wait for a later date.</p>
<p>I agree with Milkandsugar. Just because your parents do not have the finances, does not automatically entitle you to money. Also if you are married, your spouse’s income and assets will have to be reported, not your parents. Also, if your parents are going to spend any money on you, they certainly can make stipulations and conditions. Many parents feel that if you are making adult decisions like marriage or living with someone, that you should be supporting yourself and not taking money from parents who do not support those decisions. Your parents do not have to pay anything towards your education, you know. It is their decision.</p>
<p>I would talk to your college and see what kind of money is available for you both as a dependent student and a married one. Maybe it would be advantageous for you to be married, but it is surprisingly not most of the time, since income is very heavily hit when you are independent. If your parents were well to do, it would be one story, but since they are not, you may well do better in financial aid if you are dependent.</p>
<p>From FAFSA, the ony guarantee you will get is the PELL grant which maxes out at $5000+ but for EFC’s for that are at about the $5K level too. The rest tend to be loans unless your state has some low income funds it throws into the mix. You need to sit and see what kind of monies you can expect to receive.</p>
<p>"My problem: I know I can get a lot of financial aid because both of my parents are out of work and have been for almost a year. "</p>
<p>That’s not true. The college has to have the resources to meet your financial need. Most of the colleges that have the kind of resources to meet the need of students like you are some of the most renowned and difficult colleges to gain admission to-- places like Harvard and Yale. That’s because they have very large endowments.</p>
<p>Given that Peace College isn’t highly ranked or well known, I’d be very surprised if it could meet your financial need.</p>
<p>More than likely, the kind of college that you’ll be able to afford is a local community college, something that may be cheap enough for you to pay for yourself if you take ut loans and get a job.</p>
<p>Shannon, if your parents are both out of work and there seems to be very little left in their bank account, how do you think they’re going to help you with college expenses? Have you received a financial aid offer from Peace yet?</p>
<p>If you look at the stats on College board, it says Peace only met full need for 23 students last year. That includes the loans offered to them. The average need met was 78%, and 36% of their undergrad aid available is in the form of loans and jobs. </p>
<p>I would start rethinking this plan very soon, and maybe coming up with an alternative school in the Raleigh area just in case the financial aid will not meet your needs even if you’re not married and still a dependent. For your own peace of mind, please don’t rush into marriage or alot of debt!</p>
<p>I don’t really appreciate being called foolish. I have, for a fact, talked to Peace and could get a significant amount of financial aid. However, I decided to take a year and go to my local community college to get my basic classes done and have more time to work. I will later apply to a school that I want. Thanks for all the help.</p>
<p>Honestly…if my daughter decided to get married shortly after starting college I’d say “Congratulations…you’re on your own”. It wouldn’t matter how much money we’d planned to help her with her college education…get married, and now you and your spouse can figure out how to foot the bill.</p>
<p>Hi Shanonanon,</p>
<p>I am confused as to why you are keeping your plans a secret from your parents. If you are engaged to be married, why not tell them?</p>
<p>I do not see a problem with attending community college [a PELL grant might cover all your tuition!] and getting married. But I would suggest you talk to your parents. Let them know what you are planning.</p>
<p>Starting at a community college seems like a sensible plan. I see that tuition at Peace is $25,000 year, plus fees, and the average amount of financial aid looks like around $6000 per year per student. Some students of course may get far more, but I’d be worried that you would need to take out private loans to cover costs at Peace, even with aid. </p>
<p>Also, Shanon, I’d be cautious about using your real name. People posting to this forum can be and have been identified. It would be pretty awful if your parents found out about your plans from someone who read this forum, recognized you, and told your parents what’s up.</p>
<p>I’m glad you decided on community college. I think the fact that you are keeping your plans secret from your parents shows that you know marriage is wrong for you at this time. Maybe they think he’s a bum or you’re both too young, and you already know what they will say. But they do want the best for you, no matter what you think of them now. Don’t do anything foolish to damage your relationship with your parents. I speak from experience on that; it takes a long time to fix.
Talk to your folks. Listen to them, then weigh what they say.
Marriage is tough in the best of circumstances, but to start off without your family’s knowledge and at 18 is foolish. Learn who you are and to live on your own before you live with somebody else. Grow up, support yourself, and be independent before you make a life-long commitment to someone else.</p>
<p>Shan- once you are 18 and out of school you are an adult and you can do what you want. No one here, nor your parents, can tell you what to do; however they can change their actions in reaction to yours.</p>
<p>You are keeping this a secret, therefore I assume your parents must have conveyed to you either specifically or over your lifetime that they would not be pleased to have you live with your BF or get married at 18.</p>
<p>I got married at 20, I was not done with school yet and paying to finish was on my dime. No punishment, I never thought to even ask, I was living as an adult.</p>
<p>You, as an adult, can marry or not, live with a BF or not, your call. Your parents can fund your education or not. You will need to live with the consequences of your decision</p>
<p>You might want to talk to finaid, some schools will count your FAFSA income & assets as a married couple and still ask for your parents info forr institutional aid. You as a student have far less asset & income protection than your parents, so check your numbers with the Peace finaid people and make sure you are not causing a bigger problem.</p>
<p>On getting married young, yes, it can work, I am still married after nearly 30 years, BUT I have told all my kids NOT to get married that young, to go have a real university experience, not getting married young and “playing house”, there is time for that later. I owned my first home at 21 and have never not owned once since, but I worked hard and did not play as much as many friends, it would not have hurt anything to play a little before settling down</p>