Parental Issues

Paying for College
1

<p>My parents were never married. However, when I submitted financial aid information I submitted both parents because, following protocol, they are both required.</p>

<p>Now, I have decided to attend an expensive private university. Obviously I would not have made this decision at the time knowing that my financial situation would take a turn for the worst.</p>

<p>My mother, who is much more financially well off than my father, has all of a sudden decided that she is no longer willing to support me and as a result, my college expenses is now far too much. I am not sure whether my father can pay my tuition without me taking a large sum of loans that would undeniably take a very long time to pay off.</p>

<p>What can I possibly do? The college that I have decided to attend says that both parents must be considered regardless of whether one feels like he/she wants to contribute.</p>

<p>I am going to try to get more merit aid from the college, which is what the financial aid office said I should do. But, obviously at this point in the year, the chances are low.</p>

<p>Are there any scholarships I can apply for at this point that would help with my circumstances. I am a "smart" person and in terms of academics, I have received pretty good grades. I also did well on my SATs. I am only saying this because it may help you identify potential scholarships. This is extremely frustrating and as a male who rarely feels broken down, I cannot say I feel anything else but trapped and hopeless.</p>

<p>Please help.</p>

2

<p>Did you get in an argument with your mom? If so, try to apologize and work things out. If she has just made a random decision or you are caught in the middle of your parents’ issues with each other, you might want to consider a gap year. Call the college and explain the situation. Tell them you see no way to make this work for the fall, but hope to enroll next fall. This way you have a year to iron out this mess, and the college will know how serious your situation is, in case there is any money lying around that they could give you ( doubtful). </p>

<p>Now that you are aware of your financial reality, start considering more affordable colleges (and community college, temporarily) in case you just can’t make this work. Get a job if you don’t already have one, and save every penny. If your parents see how motivated you are to contribute, they may feel more willing to help you.</p>

<p>Good luck!!</p>

3

<p>If your mother absolutely won’t pay for next year, ask your college for deferred enrollment, take a gap year, and get a job. Same deal if it is just that your mom can’t come up with that much money even if she is willing to help you a bit.</p>

<p>During that time you can re-think your college list, and possibly apply to places that are affordable for you and your father alone, or that are within what your mother now realizes is her price range.</p>

<p>Don’t take any classes at a community college until you have decided to commit to a transfer plan, and have the finances worked out for that route. You will lose your freshman applicant status, and with it the chance of the best financial aid, once you start taking classes.</p>

4

<p>Yes, I did get into an argument with my mom. However, it is not necessarily one that can just got away with an apology. This is all, of course, assuming that I was the one at fault. Although it is going to seem like a “he said she said” situation, it was not my fault. </p>

<p>I have noticed that she has been very strange whenever the topic of tuition has been brought up recently. I have sent emails to both my admissions officer and the dean of financial aid. I am hoping to get a reply from them with good news. </p>

<p>I must say though, regardless of what happens, I don’t really see myself taking a gap year. If I do take a gap year, I could work, of course. However, I certainly would not be able to make enough in that one year to satisfy the tuition costs of my next four years.</p>

<p>How much in loans is considered too much for an undergraduate education at a top-tier school?</p>

5

<p>“I have noticed that she has been very strange whenever the topic of tuition has been brought up recently.”</p>

<p>My bet is that she didn’t realize how much money the college would expect her to pay, and she hasn’t been brave enough to be straight with you that it is unaffordable for her. Many parents have unaffordable EFCs. We do. Happykid went to the local community college for two years and then transferred because it was all we could afford.</p>

<p>“However, I certainly would not be able to make enough in that one year to satisfy the tuition costs of my next four years.”</p>

<p>Of course you can’t, but no one is expecting you to do so. The point of the gap year is to give yourself the time to re-think your college list, and find a more affordable one. A job will allow you to save some money for your future expenses, and will give you a better sense of what you might like (or dislike) as a longer term career.</p>

<p>“How much in loans is considered too much for an undergraduate education at a top-tier school?”</p>

<p>Anything over the federal student loan maximum ($27,000 accumulated over four years with the Staffords, a bit more if you also can borrow a Perkins) is too much. Period. It doesn’t matter if it is “top-tier” or “no tier”. The name on your diploma isn’t what will get you a job. What you yourself have done with the opportunities that life has thrown at you is what will make you marketable.</p>

<p>If your grades and test scores were good enough to get you into a “top-tier” institution, they are good enough to get you into a place that is affordable for your family.</p>

6

<p>@happy,</p>

<p>The price is not a concern if my mother is willing to contribute. However, it seems as if she is simply not willing to contribute, not because it is out of her price range.</p>

<p>I may actually have to take this gap-year. I have to see what I can work out with my father.</p>

7

<p>Unless your mom gave you a specific figure at the beginning of the whole college application process, and told you that no matter what happened in her life, you had $X available for your education, you don’t know what is and isn’t affordable for her. Do remember that what is affordable for any given parent can change from one moment to the next. If her job situation just suddenly turned sour, or if she recently learned that her home needs an expensive repair job, or if her investments went bad, what she may have let you believe was possible last year could be completely wrong now.</p>

8

<p>First, I am so sorry this happened! I can’t even begin to imagine the stress you must be feeling right now . . . with plans all set, and then everything falling apart at the last moment.</p>

<p>Now, take a deep breath . . . and resign yourself to the fact that this coming year is not going to turn out quite the way you expected. It’s not the end of the world, and it may even turn out to be a good thing . . . but it won’t be what you’d planned.</p>

<p>You can use the year for whatever you want - you can get a job, travel, do volunteer work, anything. The only thing you can’t do is go to school. (No, not even a few classes!)</p>

<p>Ask Chicago for a deferment, try to work things out with your mother, and, at the same time, start looking at schools where you’d qualify for significant merit aid - including these [automatic</a> scholarship](<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1348012-automatic-full-tuition-full-ride-scholarships-8.html#post16145676]automatic”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1348012-automatic-full-tuition-full-ride-scholarships-8.html#post16145676) schools. Stay on top of application deadlines - many schools have early deadlines for merit aid applicants, and you don’t want to miss those.</p>

<p>This isn’t the end of the road . . . it’s the beginning of a new adventure. It’s scary, I know . . . but it will turn out okay!</p>

<p>(And, yes, I do somewhat disagree with the posters above who say you should look for work. As you said yourself, I don’t think you can earn enough in one year to make up for the shortfall at U. Chicago. Yes, you might be able to earn enough to reduce the loans you’d have to take out to attend another school, but whether or not you decide to do that is up to you.)</p>

<p>P.S. Doesn’t matter if the argument was your fault. Apologize anyway. You don’t have to say you were wrong - just that you’re sorry to have upset her.</p>

9

<p>

Aggregate Federal Direct Loan Limits now are $31,000 (up to $23,000 may be subsidized)</p>

10

<p>I understand that the disagreement may not be your fault, but if you think you might be able to iron things out by sucking it up, it would obviously be in your best interest. </p>

<p>My guess is (as someone else already suggested), your mom just doesn’t have that kind of cash available, even if she has a high income. She may have liked the idea of Top-Tier U, but now reality has set in, and she is too proud to tell you. She may even have instigated this fight (subconsciously) to engineer this outcome and absolve herself of blame. Not ok, but people can be so complicated. </p>

<p>Do ask your college what the impact on your merit and fin aid would be if you took some classes at cc. You might keep freshman status even if you take a couple of classes. You don’t need to, obviously, but it would be nice to stay sharp academically and pick up a few credits during gap year.</p>

11

<p>Another thought - did you have any affordable safeties? I know that when my D declined one of hers, they responded that if anything changed, to give them a call bc they would love to have her. It’s late, but one of your safeties might be overjoyed to have you.</p>

12

<p>

</p>

<p>Yes, but assuming a normal freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior path- you can only take out $27000 over four years. (5500, 6500, 7500, 7500). </p>

<p>No advice to the OP, but good luck :)</p>

13

<p>I withdrew many of my safety options after I got into Chicago. Looking back, that was a terrible mistake. Then again, who could have foreseen the current situation?</p>

14

<p>

See post #11 by nova2nola.</p>

<p>OP, good luck!</p>

15

<p>Well, no, it wasn’t a mistake to decline your other offers after you got into Chicago. At the time, it was the right thing to do.</p>

<p>But it certainly wouldn’t hurt to call them up now, tell them your situation has changed, and ask if they might still have room for you. The worst they can do is invite you to reapply next year. But think this through carefully, and limit your inquiries to those schools that would actually be affordable.</p>

<p>As for taking a few classes this year just “to stay sharp academically and pick up a few credits” (see post #10), don’t do it. Taking college classes will make you ineligible for freshman merit aid at many (if not most) of the schools that offer it. Since you don’t know right now where you’ll be going to school, it’s not a risk you can afford to take.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>So true. Do the best you can to sort this out and come up with some options for next year. And when you approach your mother again, leave the blame out of it, and just tell her what options you’re considering. Show her that you’re willing and able to change course, if need be, and you’re not wallowing in what “might have been.” To the extent that you can approach this with a positive attitude, it should help her to do so, as well. (All easier said than done, I realize.)</p>

16

<p>So sorry you have this problem at this time. </p>

<p>Your best chance of finding more money is to keep talking to U Chicago. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard their admissions counselors say, “we work very hard with our families to make a U Chicago education affordable.” </p>

<p>Have you contacted your admissions counselor? They can ‘grease the skids’ so to speak. Then take your case to the FA office. They will want numbers, something we haven’t heard a lot of in your posts. </p>

<p>From what I can see on this thread it seems like you need to try to patch things up with your mother. This is a very stressful time for everyone. Can you try to be the adult, be understanding and try to respectfully find out why your Mom is upset? Can your Dad talk to your Mom?</p>

<p>What you really need is to know what your mother can afford, what your father can afford and then ask U Chicago for the rest. I know, easier said than done. But I know of no scholarships or other means of getting the money at this late date. Loans will not make up the difference.</p>

<p>The advice above to re-tool your list and perhaps re-apply, take a gap year, are good. But you don’t want to be in this same situation in another year. So I would say focus on trying to make things work with your family, at least to get enough cooperation to find out what your parents real contributions can be. </p>

<p>Are there any uncles, aunts, grandparents, etc., who might be enlisted for help? Wish there was more to suggest. Let us know how it turns out.</p>

17

<p>The key is Chicago works with FAMILIES. They don’t excuse family members who CAN pay from paying. The school requires the income and assets of both parents. Even IF Chicago were to give more aid to this student, it is highly unlikely the school would cover the full cost of attendance simply because the parent(s) refuses to pay their calculated family contribution.</p>

<p>This school may simply be unaffordable for this student without the financial help from the parent(s).</p>

<p>If things don’t work out with your family, OP, take a gap year and reapply to affordable schools…perhaps places where you would garner merit aid sufficient for you to attend by adding in the Direct loan, and earnings from your jobs.</p>

18

<p>Going to a top tier school doesn’t mean that it’s ok to take out large loans. Their grads aren’t earning lots more money than other grads. </p>

<p>Besides you can only borrow the federal limits. To borrow more (bad idea) you would need a QUALIFIED co-signer, which your dad isn’t because his earnings are too low. </p>

<p>So, you can’t borrow your way thru.</p>

<p>It sounds like your mom may have “over promised” about paying, realizes that she can’t afford it, and is using this argument as her “way out.”</p>

<p>How much is the “family contribution”? How much does she earn?</p>

19

<p>I’m sorry too. My one son was seeing a really wonderful vibrant young woman who was ever so excited about going off to college in the fall. Yes, it was on her high school grad program where she was going, everyone was told, it was on her face book status, etc, etc. When I talked briefly to the mom at a function and someone started talking about the colleges, she seemed uncomfortable and barely answered anything directed to her. Well, the bottom line was that she could not come up with the money, and PLUS (parent loans). Their income did not qualify them for much if any aid, but the money was all earmarked for current expenses, and the family wasn’t even meeting them well or entirely either. So the girl found out in August that she was not going to this school that she had selected and thought was going to be her college for several months.</p>

<p>It happens all of the time. If your schools is one that wants BOTH parents’ financials, it’s not going to care whethere they are married or not. A lot of kids with parents not married for any number of reasons. FAFSA, which qualififes you for federal funds will only take your custodial parents’ financials’ into account, but the only guaranteed grant from there is PELL and unless your custoidial parent is very low income, you are not going to qualify for that. The max is $5600 for a zero EFC.</p>

<p>What you can do now, is just see what happens and if the money doesn’t show up, and you now know that this is a possibility, a distinct one, prepare for a gap year, because you can’t go if you don’t come up with the money. Simple as that. You can then spend the year working or doing other activities and combing through schools to see where you can get some merit packages and sticker prices that make it possible to go next year. It’s important to retain your direct out of school status because there is more money, a lot more availabe for such students vs Transfers. When you have some college courses under your belt and become a Transfer student, a lot of merit money may not be available to you at a lot of the schools.</p>

<p>Or you look for a school that you know is affordable, likea local state school and go that route. </p>

<p>YOU can’t borrow that much. $5500 as a freshman in your own name is pretty much it. If you mother applies to PLUS and is declined, $4K more for you. But any option you go beyond that $5500 is going to require parental participation. Can’t get it yourself. Cosigning really means sticking both of you as liable for a loan and yes, your mother or father will have to be on there too and go through a credit check and you get the loan based on THEIR credit, not yours, though your name as well as theirs will be on the loan. </p>

<p>THe problem with doing all of this and borrowing a lot of money, is that it’s not a one time thing. You gotta do it again the following year, and then again, again, again. And then you have to pay it all back when you are going to want to be focusing on other things in life. My kids have had a lot of issues but at least they were loan free. That on top a monthly payment to pay for college still, is a burden.</p>

20

<p>I agree with the other posters.</p>

<p>Your mom probably doesn’t “really” have the funds.
Keep talking to your college.
Check back with your declined safetys. </p>

<p>Good luck!</p>