I messed up

I didn’t listen to SIL about being proactive in my kids’ applications because when I was their age, I did it all by myself. ADHD and ASD is a WHOLE different world altogether. They’re “geniuses” but are unable to properly fill up a college application?!!! Help! We have one day to salvage their applications to top unis. They have 1540 SATs, 4.56 GPA, All STEM ECs, no leadership, only NMSF and Commended, State Scholar, AP Distinction (14 subjects 3-5 scores) and being on the spectrum, cannot write essays that are expressive or show personality. One is a focused Tri season athlete, the other is in tennis all 4 years, but not superstars. They are focused solely on CS and Robotics, mostly programming side. I messed up when I solely relied on their scores. The pandemic limited their community service to the elderly and poor, unfortunately. Travel was fully arrested so no global experience either from past 2 years. No spectacular honors since their main international championship events were CANCELLED. What to do?!!! I was getting ready to leave on a ski trip when I discovered their shoddy applications. I’m a hands off mom outside of their SPED meetings. Just in case you did not notice, my kids are twice exceptional and have been discriminated in the past. Was told Ivies will not say it but just simply and quietly reject. Now, I’m getting in their application and fixing it. Should I have hired a consultant—but too late? (If this sounds incoherent it’s because I am after working all night on their college applications which was supposed to be just giving my son the CC to pay the application fees). Finally, not really concerned about costs, I’ll sell my house if I have to. I just need them to get into a respectable program.

Lots of questions coming…

What state do you live in?

What is the budget per kid? Do you qualify for need based aid? Need/want merit aid? What’s each kid’s FAFSA EFC?

Where have they applied so far? Do they have any acceptances? Deferrals? Denials?

What parameters beyond major? Setting, size, geography, etc.?

Does each have an affordable safety? If so what school(s)?

Unweighted GPAs, core courses only? AP test scores? Senior year math class? How many years language each?

3 Likes

Illinois. Cost is not a concern. I waited for this moment my whole life to vindicate myself from my father’s refusal to mortgage our family home for Stanford. I had no student debt, and none of our friends do either for theirs who just finished college. We’ll figure it out. Kids started to save the planet but their trees are in some exotic location and no formal organization. Just some ozone layer creating activity and working with indigenous folk. We were going to formalize but got busy with so MUCH school work and dealing with their disabilities (one is sloooooow processing). I’ll add to this later when I close this window. I can’t read your post in the reply window.

1 Like

Well, I guess my initial reaction is that the pandemic limited activities for most students and getting into top-ranked schools and Ivies is a reach for everyone, whether they have ADHD or other diagnoses or not. You are not at a disadvantage there. We are led to believe a consultant-polished app will bring success — but I dunno. A really genuine app seems just as likely to break through to me.

There should be a place on the application to explain the impacts of the pandemic and other special circumstances, so you can explain the canceled competitions there.

As for the rest of it, there will be many other students applying with similar grades and test scores. Rather than focusing on demonstrating “personality” in an essay, maybe focus on why a school should want this student among all the other excellent applicants.

What will this student bring to campus that is special? Being brainy isn’t enough, but maybe this student spends hours of free time programming games that have potential real world applications. That could demonstrate a passion that appeals to an elite college. So if a student is obsessed with programming and robotics and wants to geek out about it in an essay — maybe go with that. It is authentic and that is what will give the applicant the best shot.

But I hope you are also sending applications to safety schools and not just highly selective ones. While we wait for responses from the reach schools, our family has been learning more about and finding a lot to love about the less selective schools that already admitted our kid in the early action round. Everyone is becoming a lot less anxious about the possibility of rejection from the top schools as we uncover other great options.

It isn’t Ivy/Top 20 or crap. That’s a false dichotomy. It’s not great that apps are getting done at the last minute, but there is a luck/lottery element at play under the best of circumstances, so don’t drive yourself nuts with what-ifs.

13 Likes

Where have they applied so far? Do they have any acceptances? Deferrals? Denials? Only MIT (as a test). Denied. Must have been the way he presented himself on the app, like he wrote nothing significant in Honors and activities.

What parameters beyond major? Setting, size, geography, etc.? No limit. No constraints. Just a good special needs department to address anxiety and other academic accommodations.

Does each have an affordable safety? If so what school(s)? THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT A SAFETY IS. They have good scores, and where we’re from, kids with lower numbers and creds HAVE BEEN ADMITTED TO
MIT AND HARVARD.

Unweighted GPAs, core courses only? No idea. 3.8 maybe AP test scores? 3-5 Senior year math class? Calc3 and AP stat How many years language each? AP Japanese (all As)

1 Like

Thank you for the info, that’s very helpful.

Because time is short I would start with some safeties/likelies.

DePaul would be a near safety and is very good for CS.

Iowa State and Iowa are safeties, they would have acceptances at each of those schools within two weeks…good essays not needed, admission is formula based (GPA plus test scores only and both kids will be above the minimum out of state score needed for admission).

They would both get good merit at U Alabama, ASU, U Arizona…all highly likely schools.

Overall are you/they thinking smaller to medium size schools might be preferable?

9 Likes

No, initially only TOP schools. They are literally the top students in their school right now. I’m a Northwestern grad, I’m thinking, they’ll get a shot there since I’m big on the alumni thing, Northwestern asked me to lead my class for a homecoming but don’t know about their CS dept. UChicago has been sending mailers but they don’t seem to be big on CS. They didn’t even think in terms of big or small, just CS/Robotics opportunities. We emphasized how important the business element of this field is, so getting those fields together at some point in their academic career.

I think you need to focus on 2-3 T100 schools with strong learning support and CS/robotics programs. State schools are required by law to make accommodations and will likely be more willing to make them. You should look into Georgia Tech, WPI, RPI, UIUC and maybe WashU. Those schools are likely to give more weight to scores and grades than T30 schools because they are working to raise stats of accepted students. The T30 schools already have too many kids by a factor of 3-5x with your kids’ numbers, so “save the world” ECs become strong differentiating factors. Have you disclosed the disabilities on your application?

7 Likes

A separate post for finances.

You can’t figure out the costs later, that should be step one, nor should you sell your house.

Have you completed FAFSA for each kid? If not, fill this out and let us know each twins EFC and whether that is affordable (you don’t have to create an account): Expected Family Contribution (EFC) – BigFuture | College Board

6 Likes

We did disclose fully to MIT which made us suspicious about the rejection…A kid up the road did not have a stellar status as mine in terms of numbers and ECs, but he does have a cool persona, mine are well…on the spectrum. Oh, also, they look more Asian than Caucasian. Yes, that too…

1 Like

No really, it’s not a concern. I just said we’re selling our home as a euphemism to my commitment to fund their aspirations, even their start ups, if necessary.

1 Like

Northwestern and Chicago RD acceptance rates will be 3% or so (the same will be true at the top 20 Unis and LACs). I do not know whether NU considers legacy in the RD round, many top schools only give a legacy bump in ED/EA. They can put in an app for NU, but I do not think Chicago makes sense because those essays are among the most difficult to write, not to mention it’s such a fit school.

Have they engaged with any schools via online admission sessions? If so,which ones?

I second WashU, RPI and WPI. Georgia Tech RD is a huge reach. UIUC is as well, where the CS acceptance rate is 4% and it fills up in the EA round.

PItt is rolling admissions and an easy app, also very good for CS.

ETA: I would not disclose need for accomodations in the apps, nor the essays.

ETA: Thoughts @myos1634?

7 Likes

The disclosure was via the Counselor’s part of the application. The applications demand a waiver to inspect all academic records, including the IEP.

They have engaged no one online, as far as I know, other than MIT.

What is PItt? Thank you for the recommendations! I will push for GeorgiaTech and WashU. One applied to UIUC. Did not know 4% for CS!

Pitt is University of Pittsburgh, rolling admissions, no supplemental essays, on the common app (get app in ASAP if common app essay is done for each kid).

Did the one twin make the UIUC EA deadline? What was their first choice major? Second choice?

2 Likes

As another safety, you might also consider Illinois Tech (US News ranks it #82 for comp sci, #86 for engineering, #122 overall). The small size and proximity to home might offer some advantages, plus it offers the advantage of providing an admission decision within a few weeks.

3 Likes

Your goal needs to be to find someplace where they will thrive and gain further independence into adulthood. Please leave your hang ups with your own parent aside and focus on their needs.

Here is an entire list of colleges that give you more than 24 hours or the weekend to research and dig in on this. Sure, do two or three T20 as no one on here will be able to convince you that there may be better matches with resources and supports for them. There are some well respected colleges on this list with later January and February dates.

Look at University of Dayton. They have a supportive campus culture.

Wofford or Furman could meet some of your status interests without the T20 admissions chaos - there are some very wealthy families with their kids at those schools by choice.

RPI has an amazing and unique CS program.

20 Likes

I am sorry to hear of your situation. I know this is not ideal but if you really feel that your children’s applications are in very poor state and cannot be fixed overnight, one possibility is to take a gap year and apply to colleges (particularly the highly selective ones) next year. Such a move might also make sense if the gap year could be used to productively, to travel, explore new interests, etc.

8 Likes

RPI good on “merit” aid that often brings cost to near one’s in-state cost. Their co-op system really helps kids with ASD to learn how to hold a job, makes the transition to work easier for them.

6 Likes

Furman is a great option, and strong in sciences. My friend’s DD who is on the spectrum is doing amazingly well there.

4 Likes

We all want the best for our kids. And yes, yours sounds brilliant. But there are many brilliant kids out there that don’t go to MIT or Stanford. And are very successful afterwards.

Think about the end game: strong employment after college with independence and success. How do you get there? Because right now, they are not prepared for that (based on what you are saying). I’m not trying to be harsh, just trying to switch thinking a little.

I think the suggestions of schools with strong academic support are a great suggestion. And look at size - they may get lost in a big state school.

Taking a year off and maybe taking a few classes at a local community college (maybe try and get the softer classes like English out of the way in a smaller environment?) and re-applying might be a good plan. Sometimes a breathe can be valuable.

Good luck. It isn’t the end of world. And those schools are lottery tickets for everyone.

7 Likes