i need YOU to critique my short answer!.. please...

Applying to College
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Engineering: Where do you imagine your chosen field of study will be in 10 years, and how do you fit into that picture?

I have always aspired to become an engineer. The one field in engineering that intrigues me the most is robotics. In recent years, the use of robots has become more customary and dynamic. The US Postal Service now uses robots to sort mail, the car manufacturers use robots to help humans on the production line, and some companies use robots to carry expensive inventory around a factory. Robotics is still an expanding field with unlimited potential. More companies are purchasing robots to make their business more efficient everyday. In 10 years, I expect robotics to become a major field in engineering and an even more widely used technology.
Companies will be increasing the amount of jobs for robots so that they can have a consistent reproducibility, a small margin of error, and realize significant cost savings. Robots would eventually replace every job in the production line at motor companies, as they are easier to reconfigure, faster, have small margin of error, and cannot file law suits due to injury on the job. Also in 10 years, robotics would be advanced enough to significantly impact the medical profession. Surgical intervention using robotics, combined with advances in computer technology and communication systems, would result in robotic surgery lending itself to telesurgery, in which surgeons would not be required to be in the operation rooms at all. This would reduce the need for seriously ill patients to travel long distances for care or allow surgeons to perform procedures on patients in hazardous environments such as battlefields.
The future of robotics is bright, and I look forward to to be a part of its future. I have been involved in robotics for the past 2 years, and I want to be involved in it for the rest of my educational and working career.

please point out the flaws in my short-answer. i would appreciate some advice on how to improve it. did i answer it appropriately? do i need to get more personal (i dont know how i would though)? i would appreciate ANYTHING

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<p>Tell me WHY you want to work with robots, not all the things robots can do. Your essay hardly says anything about you, and that is one thing admissions officers are looking for. Tie yourself more into the essay is the one piece of advice I can give you.</p>

<p>Just my $.02</p>

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<p>thanx for the advice Andrew, but the question DOES ask me to imagine my chosen field of study in 10 years. i guess i will take some of the stuff saying what robots can do and add some stuff about why i m "intrigued" with robotics.</p>

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<p>"DOES ask me to imagine my chosen field of study in 10 years."</p>

<p>I can tell you're passionate about robotics, but why? How will working with robots impact your life? As a general rule I used, if the sentence isn't about you, I'd seriously reconsider using it.</p>

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<p>bump..............</p>

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<p>bump........ does anyone else want to comment?</p>

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<p>The little humor "and cannot file law suits due to injury on the job," intended or not, is somewhat awkward, and there is too much of a description of the field. Me thinks they'd want you to answer "how do you fit into that picture?" a little more.</p>

<p>IMHO</p>