I really need some advice

Parent Cafe
61

<p>Ashley, I do like unsoccer-mom's suggestion of Harvard Extension, but, if that doesn't appeal, given your last post, plus having had some time to think about your scenario, I will encourage you to take a gap year. </p>

<p>I know that right now a year seems unbearable, but, it's really just a very short period of time that I think you will find will go very quickly. You'll use the time rapidly to apply to a wide range of schools, as well as earn money or etc. to pay for the "soft costs" of attending any college - you're still going to need funds for things like your computer, dorm supplies/furnishings, books and supplies, clothing, a cell phone, money to go out with the new friends you will make, etc. You do NOT want to begin your college experience under extreme financial duress, because it will impact your ability to take the fullest possible advantage of all of the wonderful opportunities of college, and it will even possibly harm your GPA.</p>

<p>Once it harms your GPA, your viability even once out of college - assuming you can make it through four years under such trying circumstances - becomes very problematic. If you should finish sub-3.0, grad school becomes out of reach, and many employment advertisements require a 3.0 to even accept a resume. Plus, given the ratio of resumes to openings in many companies, human resources departments simply use the GPA as a screening tool - if you're below a certain number, your resume is simply rejected; it's an easy way for HR to reduce a pile of 200 resumes to, say, 50, for one available job. </p>

<p>Even more important to consider re loans - when you start to borrow money, you have to consider issues far greater than simply the money and paying it back. Borrowing money like this WILL impact your credit score, specifically relevant to your debt to income ratio, which will in turn seriously impact your ability to borrow money later for cars, or even pass credit checks to rent apartments, get insurance, get utilities turned on, etc. Even in the job market, most employers use a credit check as part of pre-employment screening. And improving/correcting a credit score takes a VERY long time, it is extremely difficult. This will absolutely cripple you for many years to come. You do NOT want to do this to yourself, especially since there seems to be a solution for you in terms of applying to colleges that will be far better financial fits, and the solution is as close as one year away. </p>

<p>Ashley, if you can consider a gap year, and use this forum as your lifeline, you will find that there are a LOT of very, very experienced parents here who have thoroughly explored and investigated colleges all over the country, including those that offer excellent merit packages. These parents have guided multiple children through college. They can help you with everything from selecting schools, to getting your FAFSA done again, to applications, and even where to get the best deals for the things you will need for your dorm room. If you take the year and let the parents here help you, chances are almost guaranteed - assuming you have the 3.9 GPA and other elements of your application to support it - that come spring next year you will have some very nice choices with significant merit offers that will allow you to attend a college you will just absolutely love, and with very little debt, and/or possibly no debt, and you will be able to really enjoy and take full advantage of your college experience because you will not have to work as hard, or worry about how to finance the next year, or worse, how to pay back massive debt once you graduate. Best of all, you'll come out of four years will all of your options open - you will be able to apply for the jobs you want and have an excellent chance of getting hired somewhere wonderful, or, you will have your pick of graduate school or other opportunities. </p>

<p>Please consider the gap year; you are not alone in this and many people here will help you through it every step of the way.</p>

62

<p>Ashley, the positive side to all this is that you have caught the attention of several experienced parents on CC, all of whom have the ability to guide you through the process. Last time, when you applied ED to NYU, you followed your gut - not always a bad thing, BTW - but now you need a much more rational approach.</p>

<p>First, please heed everyone's advice that going into huge debt for one year at NYU isn't going to help you at all. Not only will you be crushed by this debt but so will your children, who will find themselves in the same position you are now. Also, freshman year can be tough academically even without stuff like this to worry about, and you'll need a high GPA if you want to transfer out. The other problem with this scenario is that you forfeit much of the merit aid you'd get at other schools as a freshman. Transfer students usually get much less than first years. That's not to say that you <em>won't</em> get aid, just that it's more difficult.</p>

<p>Second, you need to find a way out of your current situation until you can settle yourself at another school. Considering that you have no money and no place to live, going to school part-time, even someplace like Harvard Extension, doesn't seem to be a real possibility. Please look into Americorps right away to see if it's for you. Another possibility for you would be teaching English in a foreign country (you get to see the world, too!) or doing social work abroad. This last option will have you living in poverty but also doing something meaningful. Usually an organization will pay for room and board in exchange for your work. You will not be earning money, but you won't be going backwards, either. </p>

<p>Third, the problem with any gap year is how easy it can be to lose sight of the college application process - or even the idea of school itself. Before you launch into your gap year, whatever you do, come up with a list of schools where you intend to apply. Because you are dependent on financial aid, you need a big enough list, with enough variety, to ensure that you'll have some good options next spring. Find some schools that don't charge for online applications (Smith and Mount Holyoke come to mind) so you can minimize your personal costs. Many schools use the PROFILE on College Board - although that can get pricey unless you have waivers - and it can be filled out before the FAFSA, in the fall. Check the financial aid requirements from all your potential schools, and organize them so you don't miss anything.</p>

<p>If you need help coming up with a list of schools, just ask. From this group, you'll probably get more suggestions than you thought possible. Whatever you do, do not apply ED to any school. You cannot afford to limit your options. (Non-binding EA is okay, though.)</p>

<p>Last, don't panic. At the very worst, I'm sure your mother will let you sleep on the floor of her new apartment until you iron out the details of your gap year. Ask your GC for gap year options; schools often have info on opportunities. If you attend a church, ask your pastor about opportunites for social work that will give you a place to live, food to eat, and the chance to do some good for a year. If you haven't yet read Andison's story, please do. While the circumstances for you are different, the outcome is the same: he was left at the end of senior spring with no options, so he made his own. </p>

<p>You are understandably in mourning for what you expected to be your future. It will take a while to get over it; however, charging ahead and taking control of your own situation will benefit in ways you won't realize until it is all over and you've moved on to a new phase of your life.</p>

63

<p>Ashley, I was just on the financial board, and I just now read Calmom's and other's posts to you re this loan offer, and must urge you to RUN, don't walk, away from this loan. It's much worse than I initially thought and it truly is financial suicide. Calmom is a lawyer and knows what she is talking about, plus, there's a very healthy population of extremely experienced and highly ethical lawyers and other professionals in this community, and not a single one of them would see this as anything but an absolutely disastrous transaction. </p>

<p>You're probably wondering something like "if it were that inadvisable the lender couldn't be in business", and you'd be right to wonder that. Ashley, the truth is that there may be an appropriate market for this sort of loan, but in limited situations. My D knows a young man who is borrowing every bit of his $40K/year; he will graduate owing $160K. The difference is that he has a HUGE trust fund waiting; his family is very well off. For this family, because of reasons related to how they have decided to manage investments, tax liabilities etc. and when the young man can have access to his trust fund, as well as his high school record (lower gpa dealing him out of merit aid) it might make a small bit of sense for the young man to engage the debt. But this would be an extreme example and the overwhelming majority of us are not in that space and do not have any similar circumstances.</p>

<p>If you do decide to decline this loan, hopefully you have not signed any papers yet, but, if you have, depending on your state, there is probably some sort of three day or maybe even seven day grace period where you can cancel the transaction.</p>

<p>Last, I would advise maybe waiting 30 - 60 days, then pull your credit reports from all three bureaus - I believe the law allows you to do this for free once a year (I could have this wrong but someone more experienced with credit reporting issues can help you with this) - the key is to make sure that this does not get reported in error as a debt you now owe, or, that it hasn't attached itself to your credit report in some other way. (If it has, there are ways to fix it.) I do not wish to be alarmist in any way or add to your worries but you do want to take very good care of your credit, simply because your new adult life is so embryotic at this point and therefore vulnerable to predatory financial events. </p>

<p>Having said all that, please don't worry too much. It seems very frustrating to you right now, but, everything is going to turn out all right, you'll see.</p>

64

<p>Thanks everyone. </p>

<p>Someone asked about OSU. The 10,000 would be in total, unsub. and sub. loans from the government.</p>

<p>I see the positive aspects of a gap year, but I just cannot bring myself to do it. If my life were in any other stage and I was not forced to mend all the broken pieces of my family and hardships together, I would. I really need college right now. That said, I will find a better option. </p>

<p>If I do decide I have a way to attend OSU, what are some opinions about transfering? What I want to know is do I have a smaller shot at getting in and getting money at a better school than I would if I was a freshman? </p>

<p>Some schools I was very interested in before NYU accepted me were:
University of San Deigo (need met=93%)
Fordham
Loyola Chicago and Marymont (73% need met but I do have higher stats than most there)</p>

<p>and of course, I wouldn't have gotten in but, Columbia.</p>

65

<p>Ashley:</p>

<p>Digmedia's S is at OSU and is having a fabulous time. He is interested in something to do with media studies.</p>

66

<p>Second, how does everyone feel about what NYU does? We all know Ashley is not alone. They encourage families making $25K and $50K to take out $120K loans! That is of course in addition to the student loans. While families certainly have options, it seems clear that kids/families who do not have financial backgrounds are much more likely to borrow this than many far more wealthy. Who goes to NYU, is it mostly the wealthy?"</p>

<p>That's the way it was 30 years ago, and the way it is now. While Tisch and Stern might be prime destinations, I can hardly imagine NYU as a first-choice school for virtually anyone - New York might be a first-choice destination, and NYU just happens to be there. (and, even then, I think the New School is a more exciting place.) It's a second or third choice school for those who can afford it (exactly what it was before the apparent building spree.)</p>

<p>(As for Stern, Baruch still produces by far the largest number of financial professionals in New York City.)</p>

67

<p>Would New School be an option? I know nothing about it.</p>

<p>Yes Ashely, transfering into many schools in harder than getting in as freshmen. Whta is your class rank and SAT score? Knowing tht would really help us suggest schools.</p>

68

<p>I'm 8 out of 162. My weakness are test scores. My SAT is 640 Math, 650 Writing and 630 Crit. Reading.</p>

69

<p>Ashley:</p>

<p>These are fine scores for most colleges, many which give merit aid.</p>

70

<p>I am going to set up a meeting with OSUs fin. aid office and talk face to face about my problem. I doubt they will budge with the missing priority deadline BUT maybe they can help suggest other ways to pay. If I could pay for housing, everything would be fine.</p>

71

<p>Are there any schools that would accept applications now for spring semester?</p>

72

<p>Ashley, look at the College of Distinction and Colleges That Change Lives list. Those are often quality schools, some of which have lower average GPS and test scores than yours. If you would be in the top 25% of applicants they may be very glad to offer you merit aid. Some may still have spots open because often students will use those as safeties, and then get accepted and not apply. If you go to Collegeboard.com you can figure out their yield rates. Schools with lower yield rates may have open spots. Then check the site of schools that are still taking applications and try them. I'm going to PM you with the name of one school you might want to look at that I just saw has openings.</p>

73

<p>I just checked Boston University's website and it appears as though they have separate admissions for 2nd semester. I think the applications are due sometime in September for the January term.</p>

74

<p>Your scores and rank, combined with your background, are good to go for many of the schools posters have been mentioning. I really see you sitting pretty with little debt at a great school a year from September. Let us guide you there as another poster suggested.</p>

<p>It must be very hard to consider something other than college for next year. When you've long planned for something switching gears is always hard. However, your best option really is applying as a freshman and getting a nice 4 year package. You've done so well under so much hardship, many, many colleges will want you.</p>

<p>When you think about, it isn't what you really need to get out of your home environment and into a happier place doing something interesting? That really is doable. It can be a positive experience on the road to your college dream. If your life is like most, it will take twists and turns on the way to getting where you want to go. I have a feeling if you go with this twist, and have an interesting gap year experience, you will end up better for it.</p>

<p>I've mentioned the nanny option a couple of time because years ago when I was working, I had nannies from the midwest. A couple were girls who remind me of you, they needed to get away from home. We became their family, helping them to get into college, helping with a job for one after college and being there for them. I remain close to these girls. So you might get adopted into a second family, or make great new friends or see another part of the world. I know it's scary, but think about it.</p>

75

<p>I'm open to many colleges but we visited BU last summer and I just didn't like much about it. It just wasn't for me.</p>

76

<p>I wish I could manage a gap year but i really, really need to attend school next year. Am I really unlikely to get a good fin. aid package next year as a transfer? Maybe I should just stay at OSU if I find the means to get there this year. They said when I reapply, I would be a perfect candidate for a lot of need and merit based aid. I don't know but I do know that I just cannot take a year off right now. I may sound stubborn but really, it's not that.</p>

77

<p>Ashley, if you can't take a gap year, you can't. At this point I'll be thrilled if you tell that lender "no thanks". Everyone here will help with the transfer question too, if that is what you decide to try. I do not know anything about transfer attempts but if everyone is saying it's very difficult, I'd believe them. </p>

<p>I think there's a far greater chance that you'll get to OSU and love it and never want to leave. I'm an Ohio native though we left the state some years ago; it has always had an excellent reputation and we've known many people who have gone there and have been very, very happy. </p>

<p>Congratulations on your stats - very nicely done, especially considering what you have been through. </p>

<p>Is there any chance that you can go online and correct the FAFSA now, to reflect OSU's code, so that when you walk into the meeting with financial aid you'll have one small piece of housekeeping out of the way? It's not a silver bullet but it might be enough to help tip a "no" to a "maybe" and then to a "yes".</p>

78

<p>Wouldn't she be better off applying anew for the winter quarter? That way she might be eligible for merit aid as well as a better financial aid package. This would also apply to other schools to which she never applied (assuming they accept applications mid year). She could work for the 5 months until school starts and earn some extra money.</p>

79

<p>It is not too late to amend your FAFSA to include OSU. The worse case scenario, they will tell you what you already know: your eligibility for federal funds (pell grants, stafford loans).</p>

<p>Are you still eligible for the Ohio choice grant or the Ohio oppty grant?</p>

80

<p>Ashley - for the OSU loans -- $10K total in subsidized and unsubsidized loans is high, but acceptable. It is acceptable because the subsidized part will NOT have interest accruing until it is time to pay for it, and payments and interest can be deferred until you are out of school, including graduate school. Interest rates are capped by law so they can't go up if the prime rate continues to go up -- (we parents all remember the 1980's when the prime rate was double digits). You will have to make payments right away on the unsubsidized portion, but that should be small amount that you can handle if you are employed. </p>

<p>Even if you take that on for a college you don't really want, keep in mind that what you are paying for is your education, not a particular college. In a year's time you will have a years' worth of college credit that can be transferred elsewhere. I would recommend that you use that time to take standard, general ed type of courses that you know will be transferrable and will probably be required by most colleges to graduate -- for example getting math and foreign language requirements out of the way.</p>