I applied EDII and was accepted. I was initially overjoyed, but regret soon started settling in when I confronted the fact that my family will pay upwards of $70k a year when I have been offered full tuition at a couple of state universities. I did not expect to have this outlook when I applied, and thought I had already decided that attending WashU would be worth the expenses. My family is in the upper income bracket and I will probably be full pay since I have heard merit scholarships are primarily offered to RD applicants (I applied to the Rodriguez, Danforth, and Ervin programs). I love WashU and still think it’s a phenomenal school, but I am afraid that the financial strain it will put on my family will prevent me from attending graduate or medical school in the future. It is not financially implausible for me to attend WashU, but my father has been (jokingly) told that he can be counted on to “never retire.” I have obsessively read many articles regarding backing out of ED, and understand the consequences it might have on my HS’s reputation and my college career. I hate the idea of breaking an honor agreement, but I now really cannot justify an undergrad education this expensive. Is attending WashU worth the money and am I just being paranoid, or is backing out a justified option?
This won’t make you feel any better but if you’d been rejected when the ED decisions came out, you would be sick with grief right now that you hadn’t gotten in and you’d likely be posting a letter about how to emotionally accept having to go to a state university when every part of you wanted to attend washu.
But that’s not why you’re writing…you’d writing because I think it’s human nature to look more critically after you’re accepted and wonder if this money decision really makes sense. Backing out of ED is a big thing and I’ll let others speak to that. But I will say that I met a woman who’s a junior at Emory (about the same price) and she was feeling sorrowful over the money spent when “I would have been just as happy at the college near my house.” She was also pre-med, as you are. It’s not to say that Emory isn’t great, it likely is, but that I do get the money regrets.
I don’t doubt that I would probably have a different outlook if I had been rejected, but one of my coping mechanisms for dealing with that possibility when waiting for the admission decision was that at least I wouldn’t have to pay a lot of money (lol).
You wrote a sincere post, @chobani2023. I don’t have much more to say at the moment, other than that I hope this all works out for you.
I definitely think you would be justified in backing out over expenses. What isn’t honorable is to expect families to pay $250,000+ if it turns out there is a nearly free option just so they can get a better yield. But I’ve made my thoughts on ED clear before.
What do your parents think? They may feel that it’s worth it to them even at full pay. I would talk to them and talk to your GC to get a full picture.
Didn’t you have to withdraw your other applications when you were accepted in the EDII round? I’m surprised you have financial aid packages to compare.
What are your parents saying? Are they willing/able to pay $70k/year? Did they know the costs when you applied? Nobody here can really tell you if your parents can afford full pay undergrad at $70k/year plus grad or med school. Is the plan to attend grad school or apply to med school a new one? If so, that additional burden might make full pay undergrad too much.
The state universities offered me merit-based full tuition before I applied EDII. My parents are willing and able to pay for a WashU undergrad, but in doing so I doubt they would support grad/med school. They are apprehensive at my acceptance into WashU because of the cost, and would not be that upset if I found a way to not go. The conflict I find is that since it is not impossible for my family to be full pay, I do not know if that is a substantial “financial need” excuse for backing out of ED. The college decision/admission process was mainly my responsibility, so figuring out what to do now falls on my shoulders as well. I have always known that I will probably pursue a post-undergrad education, but medical school is a fairly new goal for me. I considered the fact that I could potentially receive fellowships for a master’s degree, but med school will probably not be funded as such. Does anyone know about ED applicants in regards to merit scholarships, and if it’s possible that I might receive even half tuition through one as an ED applicant?
I think you’re still a possible candidate for a merit scholarship. I personally don’t think it’s horrible to back out of an ED commitment if no merit money comes and your shift in future plan thinking now makes the costs of your entire education (undergrad & grad) untenable. They will find someone to take that spot. Not sure how it will impact your school in the future however.
Honor your commitment to WashU. If you don’t think it is worth it after the first year, transfer somewhere cheaper. You wanted the admissions bunp of ED, but now you want to sneak out of your agreement. You didn’t have a change in financial condition nor did you get less aid than expected. You don’t have a legit reason to break the commitment you made.
@PetraMC The kid and family signed an ED agreement. They knew it was $250K going in. No one pulled a fast one or surprised them. It is perfectly okay to think that one shouldn’t pay that much for an undergraduate education. But the OP and their family had the chance to make a different choice before signing the ED commitment.
@intparent I agree with your reasoning. My only question is that would my future plan to attend med school without my family’s support count as a change in financial situation? I would not be having these doubts about EDII if I only planned to get an undergrad degree and be done with it, which was similar to my thinking when I applied EDII.
No. It would not.
That was a conversation that your parents should have had with you prior to signing off on ED. I agree with response #8. You and your parents signed a commitment. You knew you were full pay. Nothing has cihanged other than you having second thoughts.
Would you be happy to attend the State university that offered a full ride?
Please have this conversation with your parents first, instead of asking strangers for advice.
Being full pay means different things for different families.
Are your parents wealthy/upper income and have already set aside 300k for college funds?
Or are they just average upper middle income and hope to cash flow ?
Would this impact their retirement savings or will they have to take loans etc.
So, you see it is a family decision and you should sit down and talk to your parents and see what happens.
It is okay to back out of an ED agreement for financial reasons, but do it soon.
Honor the commitment. Perhaps you can consider leaving after one year. I would seriously consider transferring if you believe that’s the best decision. But you should show up for your Freshman year.
Since you knew the costs going in and your parents are willing and able to pay for your ED school, it doesn’t sound like you have any grounds to break the agreement. Why not go to WashU for a year then transfer to a less expensive school if you decide WashU isn’t worth the cost?
@chobani2023 To give another perspective, I think you can back out if you feel it is a financial hardship. It is your own opinion of what constitutes a financial hardship, not the school’s opinion that matters. It is also not the opinion of some anonymous person on this board that matters. There is an extreme power imbalance when a student signs these ED agreements, and most students signing are minors that don’t even have full rights to contract. I would not feel sorry for the “poor school” if you back out. Just realize backing out is permanent – you will not be able to go there at any future time, including med school.
@NCKris @austinmshauri My parents are not US born, so it is hard to talk about the US college system with them without explaining every intricacy, which is why I came here. With that said, they understood the ED agreement when I explained it to them before applying. I think they are just wishful thinkers and hoped for me to make a different decision, which I understand and relate with (haha). My family is upper middle class, and my college savings will be virtually depleted after 3 full pay semesters at WashU. I also have a little brother that will enter college soon, but he has the credentials to get full tuition at a state university. I think I will end up attending at least my freshman year to honor my agreement. I will also have a more in-depth conversation with my parents about the cost to see if financial harship will really result if I go to WashU. I came to this board to vent a little and hopefully find some insight, which I have totally gotten and am grateful for.
I say back out if you want to. Take care of yourself first.
ED exists for the benefit of the school. You can check with a lawyer on the enforceability of the ED contract, but let’s just say I wouldn’t be losing any sleep if I were you.
You already gave up something, namely the option to ED somewhere else. With the numbers of applicants that WashU has, it has suffered no damages. It has in effect given up nothing, especially as the RD decision season is still going.
It’s up to you and obviously there are personal questions about morality and commitment for you to work through. But don’t give too much weight to the idea that this is a “contract.”
@psycholing @SatchelSF One of the things I am most worried about if I decide to back out of ED is if WashU communicates with my state’s public universities (or any med school), and if they will retract their scholarship/admission offers. On one hand, I have only heard of top universities communicating with other top universities about ED applicants. On the other, I worry that WashU will be angry enough to communicate with the school I attend anyways. If I do end up declining ED, I will most definitely not apply to the WashU medical school when the time comes.
In my opinion, you shouldn’t feel bad for the college if you need to drop out of ED. I am sure they have lot of students who would take up the offer with full pay.
If you believe, it would be a financial strain, then it’s best to make this decision sooner than later. What would you hope to happen by your 2nd year of college when your college fund runs out ?
Also, college tuition goes up every year.
I don’t agree with the advice of going for 1 year and transfer to cheaper school.
Be honest with your parents that you are worried about finances and considering the state school. Who knows?, they may surprise you and tell you they can afford WashU !!!