I regret applying ED

@f2000sa is right.

Have you talked to your parents about how you are feeling? You said earlier that you were offered aid before you applied ED2 so presumably your parents knew about that option. You also said “My parents are willing and able to pay for a WashU undergrad, but in doing so I doubt they would support grad/med school. They are apprehensive at my acceptance into WashU because of the cost, and would not be that upset if I found a way to not go.”

I’m worried that you are assuming how your parents feel without sitting down and talking to them frankly. We are a full pay family and we allowed my son to apply to his first choice ED with eyes wide open. Yes it would have been nice to have taken the merit package he received elsewhere but we have planned for the burden of college tuition since we had kids. We may comment about things we gave up from time to time (and after reading this I will absolutely stop doing that!) but honestly we are completely ok with it. Please tell your parents how you are feeling before taking any other steps.

No one here knows and understands your family’s financial picture, or the ability to pay for college now or in the future. Again, this is a decision for you and your parents.

You say you have received no need-based fin aid from WashU, and merit awards will come after Feb 28 (I think), the deadline for accepting the ED offer. If you accept that offer, you will have to withdraw your application from the other schools you have been accepted to.

@chobani2023 ; Follow your Instincts. Commitments & contracts exists . Even multi billionaires break it for a reason . CASH IS KING Always. You decide now . All the best in your decision.

No you didn’t…maybe.

If you are full pay at Wash U, the only way you would be receiving any federally funded need based grant money is if your parents are divorced and only your low income custodial parent is on the FAFSA. Is that the case?

If not, you received perhaps a federally funded direct loan… but that’s it.

What federally funded aid did you receive from your state school?

Wash U is a Profile school, and even if parents are divorced, the school considers BOTH parents when awarding need based institutional aid.

I am very confused by so many of the opinions and answers offered to your questions.

From your posts you did your research. You had the financial talk with your parents who then in turn signed the ED Contract after agreeing that they could afford the school. Your school GC signed your ED Contract. You are admitting you fully understood the ED Contract that you submitted. You are smart enough to get into an amazing reach school. You also knew prior to ED II that you had financial safeties and other options but went ahead and took the ED bump that gave you a distinct leg up in admissions. This is not a bait and switch situation or a misunderstood child. You won! Now you want out and everyone here thinks this is fine.

I personally don’t agree with ED/ED II as I know it give the school the advantage but you went ahead and entered into that agreement. Backing out may not impact you but will likely impact all of the students in your school for years going forward. You shouldn’t bankrupt your family but since your family agreed before submitting that they could afford the school I just don’t see how it is OK to back out if they can still afford the school.

Imagine if nothing changed in your situation but the school decided to go back on their agreement and rescind you after offering you ED admissions. People would be screaming and getting lawyers.

@gumbogal I have spoken to my parents about this, and I can assure you that that is the way they feel about this. I applied ED because they told me they were okay with such a decision; if they had expressed to me that there might be financial hardship or straight up told me no I would’ve applied RD. I think it is also because they are not US born that they expressed hesitance AFTER my acceptance, even though they understood the commitment of ED; that’s just the way they are. I also might be wrestling with some guilt of having to decline such good merit aid and having a little brother that needs to attend college because of their apprehension after the fact.

What are the state schools? We would better be able to compare.
But first of all talk with your parents.
Perhaps call WashU to ask whether the financial aid letter you received is your final award. Don’t mention ED, state school, or anything else.

Oh, then what is the worry? Talk with your parents and make a decision. If it is the state school, just tell WashU finances didn’t work out. Tell your GC the same thing. Am I missing something?

I don’t understand. I thought you couldn’t afford WashU. Are you saying you can afford it if the cost is “worth” the experience and connections?

If your parents have only saved enough to cover 3 semesters, how will you be paying for the other 5? Have you discussed finances with them? It sounds like your choices are full pay at WashU or room and board costs at your state university. You should sit with your parents and go over the costs of both schools (based on the info. you have now) and decide which is affordable for your family.

@bamamom2021 I understand where you are coming from. I’m beginning to think that my doubt about my ED acceptance stems from my parent’s attitudes about it. My parents are not very affectionate, and they did not share my joy at getting accepted into my dream school. This is why I initially started the thread, as I felt guilty because of the potential financial strain my parents might experience from my acceptance into WashU. As I have said before, and as you have stated, I did explain ED to them, they agreed to it, and they signed the agreement. I never considered the power imbalance and elitism of ED before I started this thread, and I am sad that I might have fallen prey to it. I would’ve never applied ED with these doubts, and I don’t think I would’ve started this thread if my parents had been ecstatic that their child was accepted into this school.

I agree with honoring your commitment. Nothing has changed. You chose a path and it’s a good one. Sure, other paths can also lead to success, but don’t let a little buyer’s remorse cause you to make a decision you’ll regret even more.

FWIW, I do this to my kids too. It’s a way of reminding them of the value of what the educational experience they are getting, while keeping it light and humorous. There’s likely truth to it, but so what…I’m happy to work longer and/or harder to support their dreams. Funny thing is, often we (old) parents derive happiness and a sense of fulfillment from helping our kids achieve their dreams…and it’s usually worth the extra work on our part. But that’s a discussion you should have with your parents. If they’ve supported (financially and emotionally) your goals to this point, including WashU, I bet they’re in for the long haul, including med school.

I’d say WashU WILL offer a different experience from a state school - it’s famous for lavishing everything upon their undergrads. The learning conditions will be unparalleled. There will be students from all over the country, with more geographical diversity but less economic diversity than at a state university.
Because so many students there want to be pre-med it may not be the best idea but for so many other subjects washU is strong that it’s impossible to tell you randomly whether it’s better or not than other universities you haven’t specified.

@austinmshauri My parents have said they can afford it, and I think that I am having doubts because of their reaction to my acceptance. My response to @bamamom2021 might explain this better?

I think you need to talk to your parents. Is there a college fund for your brother? If you attend your ED school will that impact his options? Those are important things to know. If attending your ED school limits your brother’s choices, I’d decline due to financial circumstances you weren’t aware of at application time.

@chobani2023

These statements are contradictory. How will your family pay for college after the 3rd semester? Do you expect to qualify for need based aid once the 3 semesters of savings are depleted? If not, how will you/your family pay full COA?

This is what I hate about ED. Students use it to get in, but then they really don’t want to be full pay.
That said, I think OP should talk to her GC about backing out in this case. I would not alert the state school - I don’t think STATE universities operate this way with ED - it’s private schools that play this game. And I agree the state school does not know you are admitted to WashU.

If you tell the GC that you are worried about the strain on your family, he/she may understand and agree you should pull out.

Transfering after a year will be costly - and may cause you to lose whatever aid you get at the state school (often not available to transfer students).

IMO - rereads thumper1’s posts - it is sound advice.

@austinmshauri @Mwfan1921 After my savings are gone, they will have to pay through their general income. This is possible, but I am not completely sure if this will affect my brother’s possibilities of school, which is what I mean when discussing financial strain (along with med/grad school costs). I will have to discuss this with them.

It’s the student’s responsibility to run the financial calculator on the school’s website and see about how much it will cost to attend. Only IF it’s possible to pay that number and only IF you are 100% certain that you will attend should you apply Early Decision. You sign a contract, your parents sign a contract, and in most cases your school signs a contract. Your post states “regret,” which is very different than not being able to pay. You took an ED spot. It will reflect very poorly upon your school if you back out, and possibly damage the chances of students in future years. It’s WashU - most kids who get in are giving up substantial scholarships or full rides to other schools. My child was in the exact same situation. It was agonizing for him to make the choice to go ED knowing he’d have to back out of the full ride scholarships for which he was being considered and turn down others he had received. And it is a financial hardship for us to pay when he could have tuition for free - but that’s the choice we made as a family and I would never consider letting him break his word since our financial situation has not changed.

^ED is an agreement. There may be consequences for backing out. However, it is not a legally-enforceable contract.