I screwed up! Now what?

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>dumb title, sorry! I just wanted to sum things up concisely and without whining.</p>

<p>I started off my first semester of college with a bang. I was taking 17 credit hours, but the workload was manageable, and for the most part, I was a model student (getting A's on assignments, doing every bit of homework, etc.). As the weeks went by, however, I found it harder to muster the energy to get out of bed, let alone do my homework. My grades got worse and worse, and at this point, I'm even failing a few classes. Things came to a head this week when, having mixed up the dates, I even missed a test in one of my favorite/most important classes.</p>

<p>Now, on a somewhat unrelated front, I have suffered from problems with anxiety/panic since my freshman year of high school. My parents never thought it was serious, and therefore, they never took me to a doctor (I played along, of course, because I didn't want to seem like a "freak"). I decided that college, though, was going to be different. I went to the Counseling Center, then to the Student Health Center, and ended up getting legitimately diagnosed with a number of things that I'd rather not list here. "Finally," I thought (later on, of course), "a reason for my grades to cyclically lower like this."</p>

<p>That all seems fine, but there really isn't anything I can do about it now. No matter what legitimate medical reason I may have had for missing tests and failing to complete homework, those things are in the past, permanently entered into the gradebook and unable to be changed. I have to ask, then, how can I bring up an awful semester? Any hints or stories would be helpful (unless you're saying "it's impossible." Trust me, I don't want to hear that right now, even if it's true). Thank you!</p>

2

<p>This is a paraphrase of a quote from my friend’s facebook page, and maybe it will help: “I lost my job, I flunked out of school, my girlfriend broke up with me. The worst that could happen has happened. So what? So what??? I can get a new job, I can start a new school, I can get a new girlfriend. I will press on.” Incidentally, my friend did return to college successfully. Good luck!!!</p>

3

<p>Have you finished the semester? Can you do a medical withdrawal?</p>

4

<p>Here are some options that I can foresee (in no particular order):</p>

<ul>
<li><p>Take a medical withdrawal like suggested above by @bopper</p></li>
<li><p>Take ALL of your syllabi and printouts of your grade reports (if possible) to your adviser. Ask them to calculate what’s the best grade that you could expect out of the class now. (With the exception of curving the grades, they’ll give you a good range you can expect your grade to fall in.) If you’re comfortable with calculating this yourself, then by all means do so! Decide if you’re okay with the best grade range you discover. If not, consider other options.</p></li>
<li><p>Try community college for a semester or a few. Pros: cheaper classes, classes might be a little bit more directed at YOU. Cons: You will lose any freshman scholarships you got at your current university. There are transfer scholarships available that can help take you to full-ride, but you’ve gotta look for them. Don’t discredit this option just because “there’s no dorm life, anyone can get in, the buildings look all gross, etc.” because in all reality, you still get credit for the same class your peers at larger universities struggled in and learned nothing. Just make sure you check for course transferability first! :)</p></li>
<li><p>Take a semester or so off. You might use this as a period of time to do some self-discovery. I’m doing the semester off option, albeit in between sophomore and junior year which in hindsight, was probably not a good idea.</p></li>
</ul>

5

<p>Remember to talk to your professors. They can’t help you unless they know your situation.</p>

6

<p>My D went through this in high school, so I’m very sympathetic. The most important thing you can do right now is to actively seek out and take advantage of all the help you can. Hopefully your school has a lot of good support in place. I agree with the posters above that you should meet with your advisor ASAP and look at the grades and consider a medical leave. Ask them who you can see about coordinating help… maybe its a dean or someone at the disability center. Is the medical center/counseling center setting you up with weekly (AT LEAST) counseling? If not, I’d ask for it. You need an advocate and someone overseeing things. Especially if you’re forgetting important dates/tests/assignments. It’s very possible that the Student Disabilities Center can set you up with someone to help you make sure you’re keeping track of those things.</p>

<p>You can totally get through this, I think, but it’s a lot to take on. It’s really helpful if there’s someone “on your team” to lean on a bit.</p>

7

<p>Unfortunately, I don’t think I can take a semester off or go to community college, as I’m three states away from home and here on scholarship. Of lesser importance, too, is the fact that my parents would absolutely kill me - they still think that mental disorders are “things that weak people make up because they can’t cope with life.”</p>

<p>I’m scheduled for counseling, so that’s one good thing!</p>

<p>Thank you all for your help. At this point, I think I’m just going to tough it out and try to salvage the semester as best I can. I’ll probably be put on probation regarding my scholarship, but I can always improve in the spring semester.</p>

8

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<p>This may be a bad idea. You are guessing (" I’ll probably …"?). You need to know. </p>

<p>Go to the Dean of Students, discuss the circumstances, discuss the option of a medical withdrawal and see if you can keep your scholarship. Your parents won’t kill you. </p>

9

<p>If I’m on probation, I can just take an easier semester in the spring and bring my GPA up to the required level. It’s still a big deal, but it’s not as big of a deal as leaving for a semester would be.</p>

<p>I understand that this doesn’t sound rational, and I’m sorry for that. My family situation is just – weird, to but it politely. </p>

10

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<p>First of all, I’m happy that you sought out the help you need at this point in your life. You’ve gotten good advice already - as much as your situation no doubt feels unique to you, your school has dealt with similar situations in the past, and they can provide a good safety net to get you through this.</p>

<p>But I really wanted to encourage you to give your parents a chance. Lots of folks exude that kind of attitude because they’re in denial or they’re scared to open that door…but they can do a 180 when a loved one really needs their support. Your parents might surprise you! (and yes, they might also be very predictable…here’s hoping for a good outcome…)</p>

11

<p>I’m sorry you’re in this situation. You do seem on top of it though - and the semester is only half over, right? With the right attitude you can salvage - as others have suggested, speak to each professor ASAP. Lay your cards on the table - ask what you can expect if you up your game, do homework, do well on final, etc. 17 credit hours sounds like a lot. If there’s one class where prof is less than sympathetic - or where you feel you’ll be struggling still and likelihood of passing w/ a C or better is slim, maybe you can withdraw from one class? One W won’t kill you on a transcript - Ideally, you should try to get through a) the semester and, if possible, b) the year - you can evaluate over winter break whether you want to a) return and finish out the year b) try community college in spring and either return in fall 2015 or apply to transfer elsewhere - I’d imagine at this point in time, there are plenty of students who aren’t 100% happy with their grades / performance - it’s a big adjustment, and bound to be a bit of a roller coaster. Lastly, I’d say do talk to your parents - I agree with stradmom that they may surprise you. Good luck to you - please post an update as I imagine there are plenty of lurkers who would like to know how your professor respond & what you decide to do.</p>