<p>After our DS finished the AA orientation we went over to his dorm to meet him. We realized that it was time to hug him, say goodbye and wish him well in his new journey at the amazing University of Alabama and all it has to offer. I knew this day would come but as we prepared it just seemed so far away. I know this is a great and wonderful new beginning for our son but I must confess that I feel like I’ve just been hit with a sledgehammer combined with having food poisoning. We walked away from him with big smiles on our faces but i realized that it wont be the same for awhile with out him home. Nobody prepared me for this…lol</p>
<p>It IS hard to leave them! And it’s not the same at home. I feel ya! But it really is good. It just takes a while to feel it. Is he your oldest?</p>
<p>I agree! I keep forgetting that my son isn’t home. :(</p>
<p>For me, oddly, I didn’t feel the sledgehammer until several days after leaving him there at AA last year…the lack of daily contact is what floored me in the end: no texts, no calls, no emails, nothing for several days (like 8 or 10). It was awful. </p>
<p>I don’t know what was worse: him not feeling the need to contact us, or him not needing to contact us. Both stung. I didn’t come right until I actually visited, mid October. Then I understood that he truly did not need to contact us, and it wasn’t a personal slight. He got better about communicating, but the hole his departure left in the family never goes away completely. It’s been great having him home all summer. I feel sad already for this coming weekend for our move-in this year.</p>
<p>He’s actually our youngest of 2 boys. Our oldest attends college close to us in NY and commutes from home.</p>
<p>@NYBama. We were where you are a year ago, and it was harder than we ever imagined. But we all survived and are planning DSs return to Bama this week. For us, the year was full of tears and prayer and pride. For DS, the year was full of growth, success, and fun. A great year for all of us + a national championship 
</p>
<p>As we prepared to move DS last year, I was reminded of a saying that my grandfather had to remind my mom of when I left for Bama years ago: “A ship in a harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for.” </p>
<p>So, pray, relax, enjoy, trust the job you’ve done as parents, and watch your child become all he’s destined to be! And who knows, maybe another national championship for all. RTR!</p>
<p>^^^^Thank you all…I just never imagined how hard this was going to be. Our son is very happy and excited about what’s ahead for him. He seems to be acclimated and already has made friends, hanging out every night with a different fraternity. I guess he has so much schedule wise that he will be too busy missing home. Lol</p>
<p>It was hardest to leave our last one. Wasn’t sure if it was because she is our only girl and our youngest, or fear of the empty nest, or what. I was thankful that our oldest had graduated and was home for a bit while he started his new job. Helped with that emptiness. This will be our first true empty nest year and we feel ready. </p>
<p>I remember being somewhat angry with our oldest because he seldom called that first semester. He was loving life (keeping busy with fraternity at his Big 12 school) and I kept thinking “remember who’s paying for this life you are living and give us a call!” He got better after that first semester. </p>
<p>@lovemy3guys, great advice!</p>
<p>D didn’t call much this summer or for the first few days after she flew back with rush and all. It is a bit of a feel of, “they don’t want me” or something. I did call her about an hour ago and she answered the phone. YEA! Think I’m going to do what a friend has sat as a rule for their whole family. You call on Sunday evenings. Period. She does it with her own elderly parents and with both boys in college. It is a good time with few plans to get in the way as everyone is lowkey getting ready for the week ahead.</p>
<p>I will be doing good then I get in the car and a Kenny Chesney song comes on. DARN HIM! I used to like him but he has too many songs that make me think about D being out of the house. I see a car like hers around the area and look to see if it is her then realize her car is in Alabama and may hardly every be back in Texas. Have her flying home for all holidays and if she attends summer school, same thing. Probably just fly her back and forth since it is short breaks. That gets me hard!</p>
<p>I didn’t cry when my kids went to kindergarten, but I did cry on move in day for college. It is a big deal knowing that they’re not going to be living every day with you again, except for breaks.</p>
<p>Wow! I was doing fine until I started reading this thread and the tears started flowing. As a stay-at-home mom for the past 21 1/2 years I do feel a little lost this morning although I actually went to bed at 10:00 last night and slept 8 straight hours! I wasn’t waiting on the “headed home” text or listening for the garage door to open to know that my kids were home safe.</p>
<p>My DH and I will be establishing our “new normal” in the next few weeks. We have already planned dinner out with friends and a quick trip to check on our elderly parents. It is kind of nice to just worry about our schedules.</p>
<p>I am getting very little communication from my son, but I know he and his sister are really bonding and she is watching out for her younger brother. That makes me very happy!</p>
<p>I am starting to get the same feeling. I am much closer but will not be down there much… I am planning a getaway trip next week since I got off a few days… better than staying in an empty house- It’s such a strange feeling -sad they are gone but so happy for them and their new life at college… We had a send off party last night for 14 close friends and it was so fun but so sad… everyone was hugging th eboys goodbye-they have all been best friends since they were very young…Most going to Bama- and others to Auburn, Texas, Ole Miss…</p>
<p>I just got “butt-dialed” twice by my DS’s phone and actually got excited about it! I would have preferred to have talked to him, but when I texted to ask if he needed to talk with me or just “butt-dialed” me, his text response of “butt” actually made me happy! At least I know he is alive, awake and ready for his first day of Alabama Action! It’s the little things that make us sad mommas happy right now!</p>
<p>Yep, sadly, butt-dial is better than no-dial.</p>
<p>This thread has me all choked up… especially Peachtide’s point about the “On the way home” texts and garage door opening to let you know DS is home safely. </p>
<p>I predicted to myself that the tone of the posts on this forum would change in mid-August as the excitement leading up to starting at UA is replaced with the feeling of emptiness as our kids leave home. It’s just much worse (for me and apparently many others) than I thought it would be.</p>
<p>The actual moment of drop-off was a throat tightener, that’s for sure. As I hugged the boy, he kissed me on the top of my head (yes, that’s what they can do when they are nearly a foot taller), one more big hug…and off we went. As we drove off, put on my sun glasses so that the remaining men in the car didn’t razz me about tearing up. Didn’t even make it 5 min down the road before younger son realized he left something in son’s room and we had to very unceremoneously return for it. Somehow that took the edge off of the moment, and I was fine. He was so ready for this moment, and he’s adjusting well. It’s only been 3 days, so time will tell, but so far so good for all of us. For me, I’d cry harder if he had no post high school options and was planning on living in our basement for the next 20 years!</p>
<p>Yeah it is tough. S is our youngest and I was sad seeing them drive out of the driveway yesterday, but it was a much more mature young man than the one that left for AA 2 years ago so that was good. I joke that I hadn’t slept for 32 years since my kids were spaced out so much - I had the oldest as a freshman in college while S was going to kindergarten.
But we are leaving for a little R&R later in the week, woo-hoo.
It really hit me when I went down for Parents Weekend, S had very little time for us. Waffle House at 10 PM was the best we could get. </p>
<p>But know that you are sending them to a great place with a lot of people who truly care.
I do have to get some more friends or hobbies now though(although I am still working, it’s just not cutting it). The majority of our friends were parents of our kids & every last one has moved away now that their kids have gone to college with our bff’s leaving a few months ago. So it’s kind of a double whammy. I don’t even want to go to the local restaurants where we hung out Fri nights, with the kids when they were younger or as couples. Well now I’ve depressed myself, ha ha.</p>
<p>I love this poem by Khalil Gibran which talks about letting your child go forth to seek his/her place in the world.</p>
<p>“Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.”</p>
<p>Khalil Gibran</p>
<p>Wow… some real heart-felt stories here, and some darn fine advice.</p>
<p>I have to say last August when we left the boy for his Freshman year, that was one of the hardest things I had to endure. Nothing prepared me for the moment, even having went through it myself with my parents when I was dropped off just as he was. It is incredibly awkward to come home, and wonder for just a second where your student is the first few days.</p>
<p>But, I will say this… As hard as it is, and recognizing the experience isn’t for everyone, it is the best thing that could have ever happened to him. He has grown in so many ways over this past year, and we could not be more proud of him. He has flourished at UA, loves it there, and we sometimes go days without hearing from him (which is tough on me, but I wouldn’t ever admit to him). Had he stayed at home and went to a CC or the local 4-year school, he wouldn’t have the experiences he has enjoyed so far.</p>
<p>I can’t take credit for this, ( as it was posted in another thread here by the sage wisdom of another) but the best tip I can give to you parents moving your kids now is to help them make their bed in their new room the first time, and slip a $20 with a short note under the sheets. At least then you will get a thank you (hopefully) and definitely find out when they change their sheets for the first time! (I realize this applies to boys more than girls, for the most part).</p>
<p>The quip about a ship in harbor, and the poem were FANTASTIC! Thanks for sharing them.</p>
<p>Good luck to each and every one of you, and I hope your student enjoys this experience as much as we have in the long run.</p>
<p>@Peachtide- My DD is leaving for the first time on Labor Day. She is traveling by herself from Cali to NH and I am missing her already. Thanks for the ship quote it helped put things in perspective!</p>