<p>DartDad17: I would love to take credit for the “ship” quote, but it was actually @Lovemy3guys.</p>
<p>Good Luck to your daughter!</p>
<p>I bawled like a baby and I am going back Friday!! I pretty much cried and sat in silence for what took us 15 hours to get home yesterday. It was hard to see my daughter, our one and only child, actually cry. She is NOT a cryer. I am not looking forward to having my heart torn out again Saturday. And YES I do have a countdown going for parents weekend, Thanksgiving and Christmas break!!</p>
<p>Wow, I’m so glad I started this thread. Reading others stories and how they handled the drop off makes me feel a lot better. Certainly not alone. I am very close to my DS and the thought of him not being here on a regular basis is a huge pill to swallow. On the flip side I’ve spoken to 2 parents who told me they couldn’t drop their kids off fast enough, how relived they were that they are finally going to school blah blah blah. My wife shot one mother a look that sent shivers thru her. We just couldn’t ever imagine talking like this about our boys. He’s doing AA this week so as I’ve heard from many is a great experience. Again thank you everyone. You all or should I say y’all saved me a pretty penny from going to therapy.</p>
<p>I was the mom that ran gleefully from the elementary and middle schools on the first day. Couldn’t get out of the high school parking lot madness fast enough. Planned mom lunches for us on the 1st day of school. Manicures, pedicures, drinks, going to the grocery store alone. All wonderful moments!!!</p>
<p>College is just different. I’m very happy for D and the new journey she is on. I’m glad she was chosen to be a part of a school that seems so great for her and us. It is just hard. I always answer with it being a 9-10 hour drive from Dallas to Tuscaloosa. But I have said I can probably make it in 6 if I had to. If I’m needed there, I’ll be there in a flash. I was originally scheduled to fly to Bham late Friday and not see D till Bid Day and all the madness. Changed it to early Thursday and D is excited! I have a laundry list of things to get at Target as well as the multitude of items she could not fly back with last week. I will probably check 2 overstuffed bags and come back with 1 only half full, LOL. D responded to my text about the flight change with smiley faces 
Plan on taking her and her roommate out to dinner on Thursday night somewhere quiet and relaxing. I’m sure they are going to need it by then, a good meal and some quiet. </p>
<p>It has been crazy busy on the homefront at work and with hs band practice starting back up and being heavily involved there. Otherwise, I’d probably be a basketcase.</p>
<p>I’m glad someone started this thread. I pondered posting something on the move in thread but couldn’t figure out a good reason why I should. I guess I’m hoping I feel like I got something off my chest.</p>
<p>Leaving after move in was much more difficult than I thought it’d be. I was worried about how my DW would handle leaving our oldest D and didn’t expect what hit me when it was time to leave the dorm. There was so much to do over the summer that I it didn’t allow much time for those thoughts to creep in. I was worried about everyone breaking down and no one did, except I almost did.</p>
<p>We did the long drive (9 hrs) late Saturday into Sunday AM. Suddenly we didn’t have any prep to do for Bama. I ran a couple of errands Sunday AM but spent the entire afternoon not wanting to get up off the couch and couldn’t get motivated do anything productive. It was as blah a day as I can remember.</p>
<p>FWIW, it does get easier, but not altogether better. After a WONDERFUL summer with our D home enjoying her first paid internship, she headed back to Tuscaloosa for her third year. As usual she was SO happy to be getting back to school and her friends. We’re left with longing feelings of not seeing her until Thanksgiving unless we choose to go to a football game … which is very possible. It’s just so much fun having both of them in the house. AND … this years “right of passage” was to allow her to take (drive) herself back to school from Chicago burbs completely on her own without parents riding along. She turns 21 in a month, so we decided to let her do it … it was HARD. But she was a trooper and sent messages along the way and OF COURSE she made it safely. It does get easier, but there are still pangs of happy-sadness as we call it. The Tennessee game can’t come fast enough! Roll Tide!!!</p>
<p>^^^ We let our S drive back and forth alone, but I have found this free app/service to be INDISPENSABLE:</p>
<p>[url=<a href=“http://www.glympse.com%5DGlympse%5B/url”>http://www.glympse.com]Glympse[/url</a>]</p>
<p>You can track their progress on the road in real-time. Very handy if you are worried about them (or a lead foot!)</p>
<p>A strategy to cope with sad thoughts. Develop a mantra ~ one or two sentences, like: “He’s becoming the wonderful young man he needs to be. College is important”. Make something up for yourself. Then memorize it word-for-word. Now, whenever a sad/anxious thought begins to float through your mind, slap-it away by repeating your mantra (silently in your head is ok - you don’t have to say it out loud) Memorizing the mantra is so important so the response becomes automatic. You will feel better.</p>
<p>Snugapug… Great advice!</p>
<p>Safeandsound… How thoughtful of you!</p>
<p>I’m not a parent, but I’d be celebrating! Yay no more kids! But that’s just me and my assumptions…</p>
<p>As my best friend told me 4 years ago (say it ain’t so) when we were leaving DS at Bama, “you are a successful mother (‘father’), you’ve raised a child who has the confidence to go far from home and explore new opportunities.” Are they nervous, yes, but that’s not stopping them. So as the tears choke you up do as I did, keep repeating “I am a successful mother, I am a successful mother…” great in the car, may be a few strange looks in the plane as you’re taking off but RTR and be amazed when you see them next.</p>
<p>I’m guilty of joking about not even stopping on move-in day. “Tuck and roll, DS!” Risky Business tighty-whitey empty house dance back home.</p>
<p>But the truth is I’ll be an emotional dumpster fire for at least a few weeks, probably longer. </p>
<p>DS and I have been together-alone for all but the first 9 months of his life. The longest we’ve been apart was 9-11, when I was on a business trip in Phoenix and stranded. No drama or TV movie, it was just the way things unfolded.</p>
<p>I have always thought that my job was to encourage the development of Roots and Wings in my kiddo. </p>
<p>Roots, so he knows who he is, where he comes from, and where he can find love and support.</p>
<p>And Wings, with the impossible energy of youth, to soar to heights and places I can’t image.</p>
<p>Most of the parents I’ve talked about this are concerned about the right Roots and Wings balance. Many are afraid the Roots are too deep, too soon, and the kid will not meet people, explore, conquer. Others are afraid it’ll be all-Wings. Forget teachings and training, and fly-fly-fly.</p>
<p>I’m worried about both, which is probably a sign DS will be OK. He was bullied and socially isolated in Middle and High School, so he might retreat and be reclusive at Bama surrounded by so many high-performing young people. But at home he has an angry oppositional side, so he may rebel like the proverbial “preacher’s kid,” and get in trouble.</p>
<p>Grrrr, who set the species up to work this way?</p>
<p>I just saw a cartoon that sums it up. In the first panel, the kid is being dragged by the mom to get on the kindergarten bus. In the second panel, the mom is desperately holding on to the grown kid as he tries to enter college. </p>
<p>Perfect.</p>
<p>Our youngest was a college frshman last fall, a nine hour trip away. Yep, it ws pretty tough, especially after high school sports started up locally and we no longer had Son’s games to attend… When you’ve spent years watching them play baseball, or perform in theater etc, that becomes a big part of your life. Suddenly it’s Friday night and you aren’t going to see him play. It hurts.</p>
<p>I started sitting in Son’s seat at the dinner table so I wouldn’t be looking at his empty seat anymore. This sounds silly but it actually made a big difference. I also joined a book club, something I always wanted to do. Son is very self sufficient and he “clicked” at college right away. Didn’t need us and was busy right away with classes, basebal team and activities. Many days passed before we heard from him, and I was really sad. But I made an effort to start new, fun things myself so I wouldn’t be sitting around missing him. It has been so nice having him home all summer, but I’m not dreading him leaving again now. I loved the way it was before, but I like my new life, too.</p>
<p>At our HS some of the “costume moms” continued to be part of the theater for a few years. They just couldn’t bear not to be a part of that anymore, and their help was welcomed!</p>
<p>The initial separation hurts like you know what, but to borrow from ‘Bama Coach Scott Cochran’s playbook, if it don’t hurt, you ain’t doin’ it right.</p>
<p>Before you know it, tears of joy will replace tears of sorrow and pain. Just ask Coach C. :)</p>
<p>My twin youngest are high school seniors. We’ve applied to UA for my son. I am already feeling the empty nest … tears reading these posts. Roots and wings, roots and wings -that is what we have striven for as parents. Blessings and grace to you all as we transition as parents and human beings. </p>
<p>The ship poem will help me. I will remember it.</p>
<p>I am getting ready to send my son back for his second year. Can I send him back early? Please?</p>
<p>I love reading all of these posts, I have surprised myself (shocked myself actually) at how calm and content I have felt since returning from move in. Knowing that DS is in a great place with great people and so much ahead of him drowns out the sadness of my baby growing up and away (at least for now). Thanksgiving is right around the corner and how sweet that will be. However my test will also be when HS football starts. He was the QB, the school is right down the street, we see the Friday night lights from our yard and hear every touchdown. I will be in the stands at the season opener and surely that is when my emotional meltdown will happen. But it’s all good, wouldn’t trade a thing…</p>
<p>LOL vlines – can my D join that early bird express? Eeesh. I may be the lone voice in the wilderness (err, this thread) but will be rather relieved when my nest is empty. D will be a a junior at AU this semester, and at age 20, she’s pretty tired of being home and living with “home rules”. S is a freshman at UA, hopped in his little car (filled to the brim), took off for Outdoor Action last Friday, and was READY to go to college. We were READY for him to shuffle off. Full disclosure: we’ll be paying him a visit on our way back from dropping off his sister in Auburn, so the cord hasn’t been completely cut just yet. After a final goodbye on Sat., we’ll see how I’m feeling about that “nest” once H and I know we won’t see ANY kids until Thanksgiving …</p>