I thought Wellesley was IT, but...

Colleges and Universities A-Z Wellesley College
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<p>For a good 3 months, I was positive that Wellesley was the place for me. From reading Hilary Clinton's "Living History" and her descriptions of her time there, to the campus visit to talking with successful alumae, I was sure I would love it. The alumnae I met all spoke very highly of their experience and were all in prominent positions within their fields. They were still involved with Wellesley events (hosting current students while they were in California, for example). The campus was beautiful and calm...something about it made it a "special place." I loved the old architechture, the honor system, the long list of very famous alums (Condeleezaa, Madeleine Albright, Madame Chiang Kai-Shek), the closeness to Boston, all the other colleges nearby, the dorms, ...my list could go on forever. I planned to apply Early Evaluation and was fairly confident that I would get in. I abandoned my other college research and only focused on Wellesley. One weeked, I read a book (by no means high quality literature, by MTV press if that helps) called "Number Six Fumbles." The author had attended University of Pennsylvania (another school that I considered next to Wellesley) and included a lot of her experiences in the book. At one point, she spoke of "the Walk of SHame." FOr those of you who don't know what that is, it's the walk home the morning after you just spent the night in someone else's bed. By no means I am saying that I want to experience the Walk of SHame repeatedly in college, but I want the OPTION of experiencing it. I had this epiphany and just suddenly realized that all of the negative things about Wellesley that I had just pushed aside before were all very real. The actual town of Wellesley is the farthest thing from "the real world" that you can get. Conspicuous consumption dominates the main street of this thoroughly white bread community. It is a bubble. I didn't want to be slapped in the face by the real world when I graduated. Furthermore, Boston really isn't as close as you might want to believe. It's a trek on campus to even go into the town of Wellesley. BOston is a 45 minute commuter train ride (yes, there is also a Wellesley Shuttle). I also didn't want to be stuck with permanently fighting any of the Wellesley stereotypes...desperate and easy....nerdy and unattractive...feminist and *****y....butch and lesbian. I shouldn't need to prove that I DON'T fit into those stereotypes to people I meet. The tradition....reputation...excellence...and prestiege of Wellesley kept me interested. But not interested enough. </p>

<p>You know how they say that you'll just know when a college is a good fit for you?? My fit was forced. Thank god I found out that it didn't quite fit in time. Bottom line: if you highly value an excellent education in a nuturing environment, Wellsley may be a good fit for you. But be willing to take it with a grain of salt (or two...or three...or four).</p>

<p>These are just my personal thoughts on Wellesley. Please do not be upset with me for posting them in this forum! You are all entitled to disagree! I merely hope they help someone make the right choice about their college experience. Feel free to PM me or IM me on AIM if you want to talk about it more with me!</p>

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<p>Wow, you seem to have given this a lot of thought. I think you have basically verbalized all of my fears about Wellesley in your one post.</p>

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<p>First of all, if Wellesley isn't for you: fair enough. No college is going to fit everyone. I hope you find somewhere that will let you feel happy, help you get an excellent education, and aid you in furthering your goals.</p>

<p>I must also say that there is no one college that will provide the "typical" college experience that we have all come to expect. “The College Experience” is more a Platonic ideal than a reality. Women are often concerned about coming to Wellesley because they are worried that it won't be like what college is “really” like, or that it won’t prepare them for the “real” world. In all honesty, I don’t think Wellesley so much many miles apart from other small liberal arts colleges. In talking to my friends from home, I've learned that pretty much all I've missed out on by going here (as a straight woman) are things like the "walk of shame." However, if you want to party, you can. Some of my friends go out to parties every weekend, others never leave campus. To repeat a cliché: it is what you make of it.</p>

<p>On the town of Wellesley: I was honestly that it didn’t bother me that much. There are better college towns in this world, but whatever. It's cute, safe, and it has basically everything I need. The only thing I wish it had was a good clothing store, and the movie/mall and Boston shuttles suffice in that respect. Wellesley’s the most rural place I’ve ever lived—I grew up in New York and London—and neither the distance from Boston nor the town itself really bothers me.</p>

<p>On stereotypes about Wellesley, since I’ve been thinking about them a lot recently: Whatever college you go to will have stereotypes attached to it (the pompous Harvard student, the socially inept MIT student, the drunk U Penn student, and so on). I don’t let the stereotypes about Wellesley bother me. If someone thinks I’m a nerdy/a lesbian/slutty only because I go here, then that’s their problem. I've had people look at me weird when I say that I go to Wellesley, but nine times out of ten, they're impressed and respectful.</p>

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<p>you've wrapped all of my thoughts of wellesley into one post!</p>

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<p>Well, I dunno which would bother me more: having "prestige" figure highly in a reason to go to a college or being a thin-skinned milquetoast so much that I'd worry about stereotypes instead of just being me.</p>

<p>Of all the merits I've seen listed about Wellesely, the only one that I think is "over sold" is the proximity to Boston. <em>If</em> you're really in to your academics, the 90-120 minute round-trip overhead is a bit much.</p>

<p>W (the college, not the town) has a lot of good things going for it.</p>

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<p>Coquettish,
I have seen your many gushing posts about Wellesley, and now see that you have serious fears. That is to be expected with a major life decision confronting you. I recall you writing that you have never visited Wellesley. You really need to get up there and spend some time at the school. Set up the overnight visit. Wellesley is in sesssion when most high schools are on spring break. An actual visit when school is in session will give you a much better feel for whether Wellesley is the place for you.</p>

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<p>Couldn't you do a walk of shame after getting off the bus from Harvard?</p>

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<p>For the last two and a half years, i was positive that wellesley was the place for me. I loved everything you mentioned about wellesley. The students, admissions, campus. I went during September for an interview and concluded the same things. Excellent professors, successful alums, great connections, smart student body etc etc, and the this "walk of shame" is turning you off??? At any college there is the option of the "walk of shame". if you want to sleep at another persons dorm, well, you do have to walk back to your own dorm. or take the guy over to your dorm, thus you don't have to go anywhere afterwards...problem solved!</p>

<p>Someone tell me what is the "real world". I live in a white suburban area, i go to a white suburban high school. I go to uptown or minneapolis for fun, and the drive is about 30-45 min depending on traffic. Am i less prepared to face the "real world"? Should i be bracing my self for a reality check? Or is it the all women part thats making it unrealistic? There are male professors like any other college or grad school. The single sexedness of wellesley never bothered me, sometimes i think about it and its pretty trippy.</p>

<p>At any campus you have to walk. some campuses more than others. I think its a good work out. I don't think it trumps any of fabulous reasons to go.</p>

<p>If boston's not close enough or the location of wellesley doesn't make you happy, then its not right for you. I have to drive 30-45 min to minneapolis. It really doesn't phase me at all.</p>

<p>I don't understand the big fight against wellesley stereotypes. Most of it you can find in publications that are misrepresenting the typical Wellesley woman. Sure its annoying but i don't get weighed down by it. I have personally never faced any stereotypes like that. The kids at my school either they don't know what wellesley is or think that it is a high quality school that’s all girls. Outside of school, more people are impressed with Wellesley than anything else. I encounter more of the "everyday" stereotypes than Wellesley stereotypes. For example, the chess club was condescending towards me because i'm a girl that they assumed could not play a good game of chess. I will always have to fight that stereotype. It doesn't weigh down on me esp not on my admissions to my favorite school. Besides, i'll be going thru it with a lot of other students facing the same "problem".</p>

<p>Thats just my 2 cents.</p>

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<p>Dr. Rice completed her undergraduate degree at the University of Denver. </p>

<p>I've found that the negative Wellesley stereotypes haven't followed me since graduation. In fact, the most common response I get when I say where I went to college is, "Oh ... that's a pretty good school." (Understatement is a typical manifestation of surprise, around here.) In fact, I'd say that the only people who have ever attributed mean-spirited stereotypes to Wellesley students were a select number of other college students. As other replies have pointed out, you're going to confront stereotypes no matter where you go. Sometimes you'll fit them, sometimes you won't.</p>

<p>Also, "the real world" is significantly less stressful than Wellesley. Sure, Wellesley is quite a bubble, and the town is far from ideal, but I have yet to feel overwhelmed or intimidated by post-Wellesley reality. I valued my time at the college immensely and still think that it was the best decision I've ever made. Confronting the negative issues has been a pleasure, rather than an annoyance.</p>

<p>I'm certainly not trying to change your mind or convince you that you're wrong :) But I do think that the fears you've mentioned are small in comparison to the bigger picture for those students who do see the school as an excellent fit in all other respects.</p>

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<p>2010, I am going up to Boston for spring break and will be able to visit Wellesley then. You're right...I can't be completely sure about whether or not I will love or thrive at a college until I have experienced it first-hand. </p>

<p>This is kind of off-topic, but isn't Wellesley only about 12 miles from Boston? If so, why does the bus ride there take 40 minutes? That seems a bit long...maybe the traffic?</p>

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<p>Traffic and the general characteristics of a bus combine to make the trip between Wellesley and Boston forty minutes long (on average). In a car, you can often manage it in less time ... as long as you don't get lost. A friend and I wandered around hapazardly for two hours before managing to reach Harvard :) The down-side of driving in is finding somewhere to park.</p>

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<p>The length of the bus ride is mainly due to traffic and the fact that a bus that is ahead of schedule should <em>never</em> pull out early. Half of the traffic is actually getting on the Mass Pike from the Wellesley end, which is literally half the time it takes. Traffic through the white bread conspicuous consumption zone is obnoxious most hours of the day.</p>

<p>I'm not sure the walk of shame is a good thing, nor how rigidly it is defined. You just have to take a car or a bus between his dorm and yours unless you like very long walks.</p>

<p>Just because the only male students are cross-registered (or here through the 12 college exchange) does not mean that Wellesley is a convent, nor does it mean that people don't get laid. They get laid at Wellesley, and/or at their partner's dorm. If you choose the former, you can bring your sleepover buddy down for brunch the next morning and most people will assume you slept with each other. The effect is about the same, but since most people sleep in on weekends and keep their doors closed, you actually have better odds of people seeing you and your guest in the dining hall where those who did wake up in the morning can see you while they eat. So if the entire goal is letting people knowing you are getting laid, you're covered. </p>

<p>Wellesley's visitor policies are actually very leniant compared to most schools (my concrete examples are Providence College (where guests get kicked out at midnight and have to be signed in, even if they are fellow students meeting to do homework) and University of Rhode Island(quiet hours after 11-as in no people in the hallway)). There are some rules that fall under the concept of common decency: 1. Your guest can stay for 3 nights in a 7 day period. 2. You can't let your guest wander between floors. 3. Your roommate must give permission for sleepovers, male or females. 4. Certain bathrooms are "Wellesley Only", while guests can use other bathrooms. 5. No sharing showers.</p>

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<p>I was wrong...Condoleezza Rice never ever went to Wellesley...my mistake! SOrry! I'll check my facts!</p>

<p>I never thought that there would be this many replies to my post after one day...wow! Yes, I had given this subject a lot of thought because...well...this is a huge decision in my life! </p>

<p>Stereotypes--the kinds of girls applying to Wellesley are generally very confident, strong women. They are sure of themselves and either don't fit into the stereotypes or don't care about them. I am choosing to not have to deal with them. It's simply not a factor at other schools. Furthermore, in trying to get that first job, many employers will have pre-conceived notions about you based on your college. (BC students, for example, are generally thought of as spoiled, rich, bratty white kids who think they know everything. Ask a middle-aged professional in Boston and this will be confirmed). HOWEVER, if you know that a negative stereotypes exists...and you work to fight the stereotype...you will pleasantly surprise people. </p>

<p>"WALK OF SHAME": I don't need to prove how busy my sex life is (wendymouse). I'm not supporting sleeping around...showing off boys...complaining about complicated dorm rules. As part of my college experience, however, I want it to be a possibility. </p>

<p>On the "typical college experience"...of course it's just this idealized desire that may or may not be attainable...and everyone's is different. Wellesley just doesn't offer what I consider to be my ideal college experience. I'm happy for those of you who have found that Wellesley does fufill that need.</p>

<p>Town of Wellesley: I'm from a very wealthy, mostly white suburb...and I know what it's like. I don't want more of it for my college experience. </p>

<p>Prestige: Like it or not, this is a factor for most over-achieving, highly-motivated, competitive high school students. It's unfortunate that this figures so highly into the college decision, but it's a fact of the process. In the short-term, it matters to your family, your teachers, your high school peers, your community. When everyone finds out you're a high school senior, they're all DYING to ask where you're going; most people want to be proud of their university of choice. I am personally going to a school that almost NO ONE from my community has heard of (Claremont McKenna College). And yes, I'm annoyed that no one has ever heard of it....or recognizes that it's a really good school! I've worked pretty damn hard all of high school...and I do not have an Ivy League acceptance letter to waive in front of people for recognition. For all of you defending Wellesley-- congratulations...your school has more recognition AND a better ranking (Claremont is #10, Wellesley is #4, I believe). I sacrificed that East Coast prestige and recognition that would have come with Wellesley for a lesser-known school in new-fangled southern California that i KNOW I will be happy at.</p>

<p>Again, Wellesley was not for me. I really wanted it to be though. Glad that I've found someplace else. Happy posting!</p>

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<p>Plenty of people have heard of Claremont McKenna...it's a great school! Actually, at my high school, not very many of the Northeastern schools are well-known except for the Ivies, which is unfortunate. Wellesley, Wesleyan, Bowdoin, Amherst...what are those? haha</p>

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<p>coquettish: thats the same thing at my school. nobody has heard of LACs at all... just the Ivies.</p>

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<p>Emm, may you also make everyone else proud with what car you drive, what clothes you wear, where you live, what your job is, and who you marry. Living up to the expectations of others instead of doing what's best for <em>you</em> is a habit that's hard to break.</p>

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<p>Claremont McKenna? Wow, you really are anxious to leave the clean environment. LA = not good for the lungs, and I've rarely encountered so many beer bottles scattered in the bushes. Or such run-down, dusty streets. You'll get the anti-Wellesley in Claremont Cali for sure.</p>

<p>But its right next to the women of Scripps if you ever need a comraderie pick-me-up :)</p>

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<p>Hey! No hating on LA! Thats my hometown. We don't have beer bottles in bushes and we are health conscious people! As for emm...just out of curiosity..did you even apply/ get accepted by Wellesley?</p>

<p>I'm a Wellesley first year and there have been many times when I have sat in my room thinking I should have gone to UCLA or UCSD, but in the long run I know I'm better off at Wellesley. We're not #4 for nothing.</p>

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<p>Hey rapper5...</p>

<p>I applied EE and got in as likely ...honestly because I forgot to withdraw my app. It was a nice little surprise. </p>

<p>Wellesley has a lot going for it. And I'm sure that I will sit in my dorm at CMC thinking, wow...my life would have be so different if I had been at UW-Madison, BC, Wellesley, Tufts, BU, etc. Even now, after doing ED for Claremont, I keep second guessing myself (these message boards don't help lol). There will always be the "what if" factor, but I think that I will be happy wherever I am.</p>

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<p>That's a good attitude to have, emm.</p>

<p>Sorry for insulting your hometown, rapper5, I didn't mean to. I meant to insult Claremont (the town, not the school, emm). My mother and I drove up there to see Scripps and there were indeed beer bottles littering the bushes. And I'm used to the only slightly cleaner air in Temecula, so the smog hit me full force and I am permanently prejudiced against the L.A. area. Take that :)</p>