I want to quit playing my division 1 sport. Given my current situation, do you think I should?

Student Lounge College Life
1

I have played soccer my entire life. Since I was four years old, it has been essential to my life. In high school, I was a two-time All-American and was recruited to play at the division 1 level in the Atlantic 10 conference. Having been so successful in high school, I expected to start immediately as a freshman. In all honesty, this belief was rather naïve because when I showed up for preseason, I was top 5 worst players on the team. I only made three appearances as a freshman and was thoroughly disappointed with how I performed throughout the fall season. From an academic perspective, I excelled. I maintained over a 3.75 GPA and was recognized by my coach for having the highest GPA on the team.

When the season ended, I had a lot of fun with my teammates and enjoyed my time off from playing so much soccer. Over winter break, I was invited to participate in the Honors Program at my school. After thinking about the great opportunity, I accepted. When I arrived back on campus for the second semester, we jumped right back into training for our spring season. The amount of work I have put into soccer for a meaningless spring season while not being able to focus heavily on my academics is absolutely unbelievable. About two weeks into this intense training, I get bronchitis. I lift and play through the illness for a week, but after a while, it becomes too much. I then sat out for about two weeks to get better.

Eager to start playing again, I went against the doctor’s orders and went back to training. After training for a week, I realized that I was starting to get worse and that I should sit out again. Here I am now, at 2:30 AM on a Wednesday night, and I cannot get over my teammates and their ‘macho man’ comments about how I am being a [derogatory term] and I should play through it. I cannot get over my coach virtually belittling me for sitting out with what my doctor said has the potential to turn into pneumonia.

Having experienced division 1 soccer, I am not sure if this is something that I want to continue to be a part of. I love the camaraderie of being on a team. Honestly, 90% of the friends that I have at this school are on the soccer team, but it feels superficial and dependent on my performance as an athlete. My coach can be condescending and does not seem to value me very much, despite the fact that I work extremely hard just to keep up with some of the other players on my team. The physical toll that this has taken on my body is becoming too much, and I want to pursue other interests. Maybe get a job, do an internship, be an RA, or even write for the school newspaper.

Overall, I do not feel happy playing division 1 soccer here and I do not know what to do. My step mother supports my decision to quit the team, as she thinks I could excel in other aspects of life and be happier. My mother does not seem very happy with my decision. She constantly brings up the sacrifices she made and financial support she provided me with throughout my journey to d1 sports. Lastly, my father does not understand my reasoning one bit, despite me meticulously outlining how I feel. He wants me to continue playing and I have felt for a very long time that he has been living his dreams through me, which is why it is so hard for him to let go of my career. He has always said that he wants me to play professional soccer, which I think is possible, but I just do not feel that passion for that I once had.

Also, I am not receiving any type of athletic scholarship from my school. I am just getting a hefty academic package along with a good financial aid package. What do you guys think?

2

I agree with your stepmother. You shouldn’t have to continue doing something you don’t like. Coupling both the lack of an athletic financial aid package and the fact that the team essentially beats you down tells me that it’s simply not worth it to stay on the team. I also understand what your parents mean by saying that they sacrificed so much for you to play soccer growing up, how it’s supposedly all a waste because you may decide to quit. Even though you might not be playing soccer anymore, you still learned many lessons along the way as you progressed in the sport. I think you should drop soccer, and instead supplement your education with clubs and internships, because in the long run I would want to have those to help me succeed in my career.

3

It sounds like you have gotten all you needed from soccer and it has been good to you, but now you’ve outgrown it and it’s getting in your way with other pursuits. There’s something to be said for sticking it out through hard times, but based on what you’ve written I agree-- It’s time to move on.

4

Thank you both for the feedback! I really think that if I were to quit the team that I could do even better than I already am academically, as well as begin to chip away at my 400+ required internship hours in order to graduate for my major.

5

I can give you two perspectives. First, as a former college soccer player. Playing a college sport can be very rewarding, even when you’re not getting scholarship money to do it. But only if you enjoy it. You’ve said you don’t have the passion any more, and I think that is all you really need to know to make your decision. It’s understandable that you are struggling with the decision. Soccer is what you’ve known your whole life. Your identity is probably somewhat wrapped into soccer (given your successes on the field, that’s probably what people think of when they think of you, and probably how you think of yourself). And you’ve got other people’s expectations to deal with. But, soccer is not going to be your identity for your whole life. Years from now, you’ll be known more as some kid’s parent, or for the kind of work you do, or for something that has nothing to do with soccer, and it won’t make much of a difference to most people in your life whether you played college soccer or not. So make this decision based on your own needs and wants, and not based on what you think anyone else wants you to do. Ask yourself: If you continue to play without really enjoying it, then down the line is it likely you will look back at these years and regret how you spent your time?

I am also the parent of an athlete. As a parent, it’s easy to get caught up in your kid’s sport and when your kid gives up his dream of playing a sport in college, as mine has within the last year, it’s easy to feel some regret yourself. But that regret diminishes when you see that your kid is happy with the choice he made. It might take them a little bit, but your parents will get over it if you decide not to keep playing.

Good luck with your decision!

6

Your journey is not uncommon at all. Many parents make these unbelievable sacrifices to put there kids in top rated AAU leagues to position them for a D1 School on for the athlete to burn out or begin to have a bad experience in a particular D1 program.

As far as the “man up” stuff, that is just men being men. You know that.

Your comments conflict. You say you in the top 5 worst players on the team yet you say you can play professionally. If you are not the absolute star of your D1 team, then kiss any pro career goodby. Every D1 school out there has a top player who is your competition for turning pro. Just like there is a valedictorian from every HS that you needed to compete with.

If your passion is gone, then you are done. Cooked. At the D1 level, you will need that passion to keep up. No shame in dropping out when you lose the passion. Will people be disappointed? Sure. This is your life now and you need to make decisions for you and not for others.

Good luck.

7

I think your analysis is great and you have answered your question. College is a stepping stone to life and playing a D1 sport takes away a lot of options to expanding your knowledge, interests and resume. You have proved that you can do it. I agree with the above that parents get too caught up in it. It’s your life…your decision. I am also a parent of an Ivy football player doing engineering. He gets good grades but has no time for anything else…no clubs, no study abroad, etc. It was an especially hard year because he did not play at all after putting in all the work. We told him he could quit or even transfer but he wants to stick it out. Loves his teammates and the team. But it has been a lot of sacrifice. He believes that the experience will make him a better employee. I just want him to protect his brain. :wink:

8

A kid who wants to focus more in acedemics? Go for it:)

One caveat? Wait until you are feeling better to make your decision. Make sure your lack of passion is not just the pneumonia getting to you. If you still feel the same, just do it and dint look back.

9

Do you think you would feel differently if you were to get more playing time? It is not unusual for freshmen to get limited playing time and that does seem to be a big part of your consternation. Your playing time may increase significantly the longer you are on the team. You may want to talk to some of the juniors/seniors on the team and get their perspective on how college soccer evolved for them

10

Could you simply play Club soccer on the side or intramural soccer? You’d have all the fun and no of the stress

11

“Also, I am not receiving any type of athletic scholarship from my school. I am just getting a hefty academic package along with a good financial aid package”

This is the key point. You are not going to lose any money - so do what you like. I feel horribly for the kids that HATE their D1 sport (for some of the same reasons you mentioned) after playing in college for a year but have to continue or they will lose their large scholarship. You are not in that situation. Do what you like… the bottom line is that you are never going to be a professional player so your parents would have had to get over that in 3 years anyway - why play along because they are making you feel guilty. Expand your horizons.

12

so, I hear you, and am happy you have a supportive step parent. I am sorry your parents are not supportive. Losing your passion really tells me all I need to know. However, your academic scholarships are really a disguise, so be aware. Those dollars are really an athletic scholarship that has been called something else to get around their cap. Can they be revoked if you don’t play? I don’t know. Can you afford this college without them? Think about all angles and make the best all around decision for yourself, and don’t base it on your parents wishes.

13

“Those dollars are really an athletic scholarship that has been called something else to get around their cap.”

You don’t know this - the student mentioned he’s a very strong student and has in fact been invited to honors. Yes, he should check - but no - I doubt the college would have a leg to stand on if they gave this student an academic award. It should all be in the award ‘fine print’ with the offer of admission.

14

First I would talk to the trainer. Talk to them about your bronchitis and what the doctor said and how to get back to playing. Then you could use the excuse of “The trainer is making me take it slow”. Use the doctor as an excuse to recover…follow their recommendation because Pneumonia is no fun!

Get better and then see how feel when you are healthy.

Talk to your coach about this

15

I agree you should wait till you feel 100% and give it a go, but if you still want to quit D1 you should. Also, give club a try, you’ll be surprised at the competitive level you can find at club.

16

My thoughts/questions which echo some already expressed:

Not having an athletic scholarship makes your decision easier.

Ask yourself:

If I was getting more playing time/wasn’t sidelined by being sick right now, would I still feel this way? Make sure you aren’t making your decision based on frustration with temporary circumstances and/or feeling less confident because you are no longer the star player of a team.

Are you going to miss the social interaction with your teammates to an extent you might regret your decision?

If you can answer those questions honestly in a way that reconfirms your desire to stop playing, I’d say quitting would be fine.

I agree with @MassDaD68 that if you aren’t getting playing time and find the training regimen too rigorous at the D1 level, than you don’t realistically have a chance of playing professionally. If you and your parents understand this, it might make the decision easier to stomach.

17

I agree with above posters. D1 is tough. It becomes like a job.

You have other interests and are doing well in school and want to keep up that momentum - that is great!

You had a great run in soccer! Quit while you can, and if you miss it, play club or intramural at college, for FUN!

Good luck, and feel better!

18

I would talk to the trainer first about letting you take a break and also wait until you are feeling better and are better rested before making your final decision.
Perhaps this is a trivial point, but my kids have played a lot of school and club sports where they are coached by parents who had been college athletes. It definitely is an item of conversation among the other parents about who played what where. And as a group we are pretty easy to impress as most of the former athletes played D3. But no one ever comments on or seems to wonder how many years they played. So you are in - you have got that future talking point all lined up now.

19

First, I just want to say congratulations on getting to a D1 college program. Wow! That ain’t easy to do, it’s a long shot and you got there. Fantastic.

Second, coaches at the HS and especially at the college level can be, what’s the right word I’m looking for, weenies. There’s nothing new there. Often times I wonder how they got to that level of coaching with the way they treat players. Not all coaches, but many.

Third, if you’re not starting at the D1 college level, a professional career probably won’t happen. The MLS teams, a lower level of play than Europe as you know, usually will only take the best from the college level. And even if you make an MLS, the median salary is around $100,000-$120,000 ish. The best players make a lot of money, the not-so-great, make a decent wage, but I’ll bet you’ll probably make more via your academics. There is a semi-professional league too.

Fourth, if you’ve lost the passion to play, can’t practice and play at 100% when healthy, and you can leave soccer without any regrets, then I think it’s time to retire. If you think you might regret the decision to retire in 5-10-15-20 years from now, then don’t do it.

Lastly, if you decide to retire, then your parents will get over it in time. Initially, they’ll be upset because they have devoted time, money and energy to get you where you are. Those cold 8:00 AM Sunday morning games suck! Coaching or ref’ing AYSO (pee wee) games. Wheeling around those portable goals (or installing those PITA nets), setting up the corner sticks, standing on the sideline with the rain going sideways and the umbrella not helping one bit, etc. All the club fees and jersey purchases. But if they’re like most parents, then they just want you to be happy and eventually, quickly, the memories will be fond.