I felt like I was forced straight into college. My first year of college is coming to an end and I feel like I’m on a path with no end goal. I could imagine what life would be like in the future, but I don’t see that future happening unless I make a change in my life right now. There is no motivation or drive to do anything. I just feel like college was rushed straight into my face and as a senior, in high school, I didn’t have time to realize this. My teachers, my counselors, my parents, and everyone all encouraged me to go to college, but this whole year I’ve realized that I’m just not ready and I know many of you out there aren’t ready either. My thought process this year was “You’re already here, why not just go with the flow and finish college? No matter how hard or stressful it is don’t quit”. I realized that this is stupid, why push through something you have no motivation to do? I think the best thing I could’ve done straight out of high school was find a job, earn some money in case I did consider going to college to help pay for it, rather than completely rely on my parents for money, and give myself some time to think about the idea of college and my future. I want some time to relax and look back at all the years that have passed by. You may argue that summer break is enough time to think, but it really is not. Currently, all I want to do is focus on myself. I’m tired of all these assignments getting shoved in my face and stressing me out. I just want a break. I’m in a time where I’m just not completely satisfied with myself mentally and socially. I don’t love myself and pushing through college is not helping. I want some time where all I need to worry about is myself and nothing else.
Personally, I find your comments very insightful and honest. In my opinion, we’ve turned high school and college into a competitive race rather than an experience and in turn we are left with young people who are exhausted, burned out and have never experienced the love of learning. Additionally, many students don’t know what they really want to study yet and with the cost of college being what it is, many would be better served working for a time deciding what they want to study and as you said, earning money to pay for college.
Find out what your options are for leaving your school for a semester or two. Can you take some kind of leave of absence and not have to quit outright? You still may decide to quit in the end, but it keeps your options open to go back if you change your mind.
I suspect that what you are feeling in not all that unusual. There’s nothing wrong with taking the time to figure out what you really want. I would recommend formulating even a kernel of an alternative plan (job, housing, etc.) and sitting down with your parents to talk about what you are feeling and what you would like to do instead of college. It might be tough at first, but then again they may have some helpful ideas too.
Good luck!
Also talk to someone (your doctor, counseling center) to check if depression might be an issue.
One of the wonderful things about being an adult is that the old timelines of childhood don’t exist. If you don’t want to be in college right now, you can take a year or two or ten off.
The reason that we, as high school teachers, push college right away is that it can be so much harder to go back later. Responsibilities tend to intrude, and it can be difficult to go to school full time for so many people.
But that’s OK. If school right now isn’t the place for you, then stop. But first, talk to your counselor at school. Find out what you need to do to make returning-- either to your school or another-- easier down the road.
For what it’s worth, I’m one of five “kids” in my family-- all now in our 50’s. Two of us-- myself and my youngest sister-- went to college, then grad school, right from high school. The other 3 all eventually finished, but found that for one reason or another a 4 year university wasn’t the right path for them right out of high school.
Again, there’s no longer a set path, a set timeline. Find the one that works best for you. Keep an eye on your future-- you probably want to continue your education in some form or another. And keep an eye on things like insurance that may have different rules for students than for working adults.
But ultimately, do what makes you happy. Good luck!
Can you take a gap year and work? You sound like one of the students who could realy use it.