<p>I was really excited about everything, but its not something that I was so up and ready to scream out to the universe about (I am not really into that kind of stuff). But, I figured my teachers and best friends should not and well... </p>
<p>I told my best friend and she has not been speaking to me for a while now. Her last, continuously repeated words are: I should have totally applied to Harvard, I probably would have gotten in. No congrats. </p>
<p>So, of course, its high school and things spread--now, while everyone was okay with the other kids pulling Harvard or Yale or Princeton or whatever, apparently that was never the case with me. Oh well, way to kill the meaning to all those sleepless days. </p>
<p>But kids are understandable. We're kids; we barely have our emotions in check. What sort of hurts is when grown-ups react unpleasantly. Sure, when I got into Chicago, my teachers congratulated me. When they hear about Harvard, they advise me against, not lightly, but semi-strongly??? This is not with every teacher of course (some of them are beyond nice!). </p>
<p>So any advice on how to live out the rest of what is looking to be a not-so-great school life?</p>
<p>I really wish it was like that. I am still stuck with those Harvard-accepts who seemed to think from the onset that they were made for Harvard (and openly assert it).</p>
<p>I don’t get it. Did you get into Harvard and people are giving you anti-Harvard hate, or did you not apply to Harvard and people thought you should have, or did you get in at Harvard and choose not to go? The first post isn’t very clear.</p>
<p>He got into Harvard and some teachers + friends are giving him crap. I don’t pay much attention to what most teachers have to say on certain college matters anyways. You do what you think is best and don’t listen to them. It’s really not that complicated.</p>
<p>You couldn’t have kept this a secret. People were going to find out at some point and their reaction is their problem. Congratulations, I hope you love it at Harvard.</p>
<p>Congratulations on the nice admissions choices. </p>
<p>Ignore the Debbie Downers. My guess is that by May 15th this will be history. Some folks are coping (badly) with poor results, and some others are jealous. Harvard thought you were good enough, and that’s fine.</p>
<p>Gadad-I think she means she regrets sharing her H acceptance 'cause she is getting anti-Harvard grief.</p>
<p>Seeker- First of all, congratulations on your acceptance! You’ve worked hard for this accomplishment, so it is understandably confusing to witness the negativity that “the H-Bomb” can cause. There is so much emotion, judgemental attitude, and envy involved in people’s reaction to Harvard. </p>
<p>We heard parents and teachers as well as students offer odd, hostile, jealous and critical remarks concerning D’s H acceptance. The teachers’ negative reactions were probably due to envy and insecurity (suddenly their M.A.s from Podunk U did not seem so special). Parents were just in pain as they believed their darling was clearly more deserving. (They seemed astonished that hard work, top scores and ECs could really matter more to Ivies than social clout or wealth.) Fellow students also exhibited the same sense of surprise, that sacrifice and hard work meant more to Ivy successs than style and H.S. popularity. </p>
<p>As for how to continue out the semester in peace, well, just dote on other people’s plans, repeat how hard and challenging Harvard will likely be, and your worries about the stress and pressure. Your friends will love to hear of your potential future misery. </p>
<p>By next December, your success will be forgiven as everyone will be settled into their own colleges. There will be alot of facebooking, plans to see each other, and requests to visit you. </p>
<p>Just remember you have the inner strength to survive these slings and arrows. The adults at your school will be proudly bragging about you next year to the seniors. You have simply witnessed the petty side of people, old and young. Let it go and move forward on your own path, to your own goal.</p>
<p>Is there a particular reason some people at your school were okay that others got into top schools, but not you? Your post makes it seem like this is a phenomenon particular to you, and not a general occurrence at your school.</p>
<p>Fauve is absolutely right. At first it’s so hard to even answer “Harvard” when people ask where you’re going. Just be matter of fact about it as if you were going to any other school. It really is just another school and people will have to get over it.</p>
<p>My D had almost the opposite experience. People (kids, teacher and parents) could not imagine my D would choose anything but Harvard! Some parents were really pushy and didn’t ask her what school my D wanted to go to - they just insisted she should go to H and in some cases said bad things about some of her final choices. Many of these “bad things” weren’t negative things in my D’s opinion. I think advice is great (I have gotten some AMAZING advice on this site from student and parents which has been SO SO valuable to me, but I came here looking for advice.) I think it is really too bad when kids, or teachers and parents especially, force their opinions on students like Seeker 99. Seeker should not have had to deal with that. One of the nicest things a teacher said to us was, “Wow, congratulations to you and your D - even if she doesn’t go there, it is such a nice honor.” A great sentiment and he didn’t just assume she would no longer consider a number of very nice other schools that had interested her for a long time. If my D goes to H, it will be because she has really, really thought about it and asked questions of many people and thinks it will be the right fit for her. (I think that is the way she leaning right now!)</p>
<p>It’s part of the price you pay for going to college there. A couple observations: Nearly everyone thinks they “know” daunting Harvard stereotypes. Those stereotypes are just about all wrong (or outdated). I know - I used to believe them too. Also, many people try to show their expertise by having opinions that contradict the obvious. “Knowing” why Harvard isn’t all it’s cracked up to be is how some folks will attempt to demonstrate their sophistication. My sense is that it bugs students at first; then it gets to be the same old, same old; then, finding creative ways to avoid “dropping the H-bomb” becomes part of the cultural norm that bonds Harvard students.</p>
<p>And for the sake of your teachers, no, Harvard won’t eat you alive. It’ll set the resources of the world before you and then hold the door open for you. And then it’ll expect you to walk through that door yourself without having to be reluctantly pulled.</p>
<p>My physics teacher was also very strongly pro-Chicago over Harvard. Whatever! I think it’s because there’s a case to be made that Chicago does more with the students they get, but Harvard gets the best! (…Of which I am one? o.O) Or because he thinks I might actually major in physics (hahahahaha no.) and Chicago has Fermilab and that other one on campus. I am very excited ( :D) about attending Harvard next year, but I have pretty much excised the name of my college from my vocabulary. “I’m excited for /college/ to start.” “I can’t wait to go to /college/!” It helps with people. I also never start conversations about people with college. There’s this one brilliant kid in my English class who I sort of know, and the curiosity about where he’s going to college is killing! me. (I am nosy.) But when I say “where are you going to college?” that brings up the inevitable “and how about you?” It’s kind of a pain to do that dance, but it gets easier with practice.</p>
<p>OP,
My D got reactions all-over-the-map when she got in. From many heartfelt “congratulations!” to “ew, why would you want to go there?,” to “you must have gotten in because of [your EC],” to “my friend’s sister goes there, and she haaates it.” Some people reacted like they were angry when they heard it. I thought it was bizarre. We learned to down-play the whole thing, and even 3 years later, I never bring up where my D attends college, unless someone point-blank asks me, because even mature(?) adults often react strangely to it.</p>
<p>Yeah. My problem is that I can’t even get Harvard out of my mouth saying it right…I feel uncomfortable saying it feeling like it may come off as bragging, and because of the awkward way that I say it, it seems even more like bragging. Going to Harvard seems like one of those things that’ll motivate me to do something more impressive just so going to Harvard isn’t a big deal anymore (if you cure cancer, saying you went to Harvard isn’t that big of a deal anymore ;))</p>
<p>I understand well where you’re coming from. I won’t say people expected me to hear good news from at least one top school, but few people seem to “question” the decision when they tell them, and so I rarely get truly jealous remarks. One teacher (who’s renowned for being a harsh and brilliant teacher) sat me down and basically tried to tell me that Harvard was simply a corrupt Wall Street breeding ground. I suppose I understand that perception, but after visiting there was no way I would believe that.</p>
<p>Just use the “going to school in Boston” line. It has worked for me.</p>
<p>I say **** them!!
I am kind of going through the same thing, and I’m not even going to Harvard. My sister does, though, and she had to deal with that too. Every time she made a tiny mistake at the end of her senior year of high school people would say “…and THAT girl’s going to Harvard?” The point is, some people are really judgmental about you when you tell them that you are going to a prestigious college, because they try to fit you into the mold of what they think a Harvard student should be, and when they can’t cram you into their narrow-minded, preconceived notion, they get thrown off. [HOLY run-on!] Just know that it is because they are ignoramuses, and then go on to kick ass in college.</p>
<p>JMMom32: Actually, I think I got a similar reaction from my peers. Princeton has a relatively high acceptance rate from my school for geographical reasons, whereas almost nobody gets into Harvard. Also, for whatever reason Harvard has more name clout. So people automatically assumed I would want to go to Harvard. One person asked me, “Are you going to do orchestra there?” and my response was, “Where is ‘there’?”. He replied, “‘There’ had better be Harvard - you’re going to be studying with future presidents!” Well, I’m more interested in studying with and becoming a physicist, so I’m going to Princeton! =D Not that Harvard doesn’t produce physicists, but I think my educational needs and personality are better suited to Princeton. In fact, I think the people that know me best knew that I was going to choose Princeton long before I did =P</p>
I think it’s because there’s a case to be made that Chicago does more with the students they get, but Harvard gets the best! (…Of which I am one? o.O) Or because he thinks I might actually major in physics (hahahahaha no.) and Chicago has Fermilab and that other one on campus. I am very excited (