<p>Once again I am asking for help to experienced parents/alums at this board......Thank you in advance for reading this long post!:)</p>
<p>Ok.......so I just wanted to get a feel for this essay topic that I thought was unique and interesting for college app..........I was ruminating over what I should write about (past experience, cool things during childhood, etc.) last night and...........viola! It struck me like a lightening and thousand lightbulbs flashed in my brain at once! </p>
<p>I had a unique and cool experience during my 5th grade in elementary school (at a foreign country........im a US citizen but spent quite a bit of time overseas as a child and moved around at least 6 to 7 times). My teacher was pretty bad, and she didn't do anything and didn't even follow the proper curriculm for some subjects throughout the entire semester! Shew as an old hag who was a bit of an eccentric to put it midly, and one day decided that she would implement some new policies in the class room because of some complaints she has been hearing. At the time I was well-liked by my classmates and was thought 'unique' cuz I was from America. Well, she decided that a student should put him/herself in her seat and teach a subject to the class for a week! As if she intended me to do it all along, she immedately told me to take the task. So I did. I followed the text book and taught the social studies/history subject to the class for the entire week and couple days beyond. Entirely on my own, without intereference or any hand-holding from the teacher. At the end some of my friends and class mates were talking about how much better it was with me than the teacher, who usually left the class in turmoil and chaos. Overall, it was a great experience for me and I loved every minute of it.</p>
<p>I hope to major in History at princeton/Stanford/UCB or other schools I can get into, but is this topic unique and interesting enough to grab the attention of admin officers? I intend to weave together this story with my passion for history, my achievements in subjects of history after coming to US as a high school freshman, and how it opened my eyes to new possibilities as a child at a young age. If any of it sounded like I was bragging or something that I apologize........That was not how I meant to say it..........but the story itself is true! What do you think of this idea and topic? Please, help me out and comment on anything you would like to say. Any help from my fellow CCers and parents will be greatly appreciated!</p>
<p>Warning flags with this essay as you present it above (and I know it's not your real essay, just an idea you had)
1. calling people names - childish
2. "I'm better than the teacher" -- this essay will be read by teachers, some of whom may fit your description. Guess what? Sometimes college teachers don't use the textbook either. If the school you're applying to has any of these (and they all do) they will immediately know you aren't a fit there.
3. You come across as "unteachable." Not a good message to give to a school you want to attend.
4. Be careful of coming across as too full of yourself -- well-liked, unique, better than the teacher. </p>
<p>the basic idea has some merit, though. You could make the same - or better - points by writing in such as way as to emphasize the positive parts:
1. You lived overseas - a different environment, and managed to thrive. (What kind of school - foreign? dod? international?)<br>
2. You experienced a "different" method of eductaion (The American way, though different, is not always better -- or worse - just different), one which allowed you the opportunity to experience the thrill of educating, and not just being educated.
3. You can "show" some positive reactions of your classmates that helped you realize something about yourself. But be careful of making the leap that you were a good teacher just because you were popular because your classmates were fascinated with your accent or something.</p>
<p>Cardinal, I think it is an in interesting story -- I disagree with Binx only because I am assuming that you would not write your essay in the way you have told the story here. So of course you should not refer to the teacher as an "old hag" -- but "eccentric" would be fine -- and of course you should make it sound as if you are bragging about being a better teacher... but other than that it is a great way to talk about things like taking on responsibility and developing confidence, as well as your love of history. After all, you were only 10 years old and were given such a huge responsibility -- was this an American school? what language was the class taught in? I can see you working in some sort of theme about how stunned and shocked and overwhelmed you felt ... but then you decided to simply go ahead using the text books, and then you realized that you loved history so much that it was not scary but in fact fun to get to lead the lesson, etc. Of course this has to be your essay - so that's only an example, you will have to work it out yourself -- but the goal is to tell the story in an interesting way that also allows you to highlight your personality and strengths. It is tricky to talk about your strengths without sounding braggy - but part of the trick is in also noting all your personal fears or mentioning some mistakes you made. </p>
<p>Do write the essay -- you won't know if it is good enough until you write it. Writing it doesn't mean that you will end up submitting it -- but you can't really know if it will turn into a good essay until you actually write it. You may find that you end up with more than one version of the same story - you could play around with the idea in various ways. </p>
<p>But I like it because it is an unusual experience and I think it can be written in a charming or humorous way that will also convey your love of academics and of history - its the kind of essay that will stick in the mind of the ad coms who read it. I always envision a meeting in which one ad com pulls out a file and announces the name, and another ad com says, "which one is that?", and the first ad com says, the kid who wrote the essay about _____ -- where the whole essay is summed up in about 3 words and everyone immediately recognizes and remember which kid they are talking about. Of course that doesn't really happen because you are lucky if even 2 of the ad coms actually reads your essay, but the point is that the essay stands out because you wrote about something unique - while "the one who wrote about the death of his grandmother" or "how his coach inspired him" probably just blends in with countless others on similar topics.</p>
<p>I would make NO derrogatory comments about the teacher. I would talk about the experience this teacher gave me to teach and learn that I like it. That I was able to interject the American style into a foreign classroom in order to show more of our culture, as I was learning their culture from them. Talk about the positive comments from classmates, but from a cultural perspective. ie, that they liked the American way, which I modeled. Always take the positive view.</p>
<p>lol.......well about the teacher: I know I wrote some derogatory things about the teacher and all but the point I want to make is that I will in NO WAY write such things on the essay.......like calmom said, this is just the outline of the SITUATION, not how I will write the essay. Of course, I will concentrate far more on how this experience affected me than about the teacher.........at most such minor detail would be told in a off-hand sort of manner at most in a sentence or two.</p>
<p>cardinal I'm a bit more inclined to agree with the warning signs that Binx saw. I'd be very careful of coming across as arrogant. Perhaps you can revise your suggestion and re-post it. Was hard for me to see beyond the negative descriptions 'old hag' etc. even though I know that you won't say that.</p>
<p>I share the concerns that Binx and Andi have expressed: Even if you avoid overtly negative descriptions of the teacher, the main point seems to be that you believe your teaching skills--in fifth grade--were superior to hers. There's a real danger that this will come across as arrogant, especially since the chief specifics you cite are that you were a popular kid from America who followed the textbook. It also worries me that this is a very old episode in your life; if it led to substantial achievements in history and/or teaching, those might be a better focus for the essay, and if it did not, it doesn't seem helpful to suggest that a few days in fifth grade were a major highlight of your education.</p>
<p>Smae concerns as binx and andi, but I agree it is a good topic if reframed along the lines of a "surprising educational experience that exicted you to a topic." I think if you could empahsize that innovation is exciting, that you can deepen your learning through teaching, etc., that would be the better path. I think it is okay to show humor too; it is also okay to say you did not relate to the teacher at the time, but in retrospect the educational experience was one of your most memorable.</p>
<p>I agree with the comments above about the great care you would have to take with your tone. However, I would also caution you to approach this narrative as a sort of "turning-point" story. After all, it's from when you were about ten, right? That's an awfully long time ago to be looking for an important topic for such an essay, but if you can show a long-term shift in your approach to learning based on the experience you had then--and perhaps give a nod to the teacher who allowed it to happen--you could have something good there. (Remember that you're seeing that teacher through the eyes and level of sophistication of a ten-year-old even now.)</p>
<p>first off, thank you to all parents who wrote such thoughtful advice on this thread......I really appreciate your help:)</p>
<p>Many of the advice seem to point out the teacher issue in my topic........and I feel compelled to address that. I wrote that post what 3 in the morning and was thinking out of top of my head about what I can best remember about the incident................the teacher was an 'eccentric', in fact she had troubles with the parents as well as kids and consequently moved out to a different school in less than couple years.........this is EXTREMELY strange if you consider where all this is being played out (east asia when at the time most old teachers REALLY tend to stick with one place for a job).................I will in NO WAY emphasize or even mention what the teacher was like...........I guess I over emphasized the teacher issue and I apologize if the REAL meaning of the post didn't get through to you. It was purely my fault for not conveying the meaning of the topic clearly. </p>
<p>However, I think Calmom and Smae have understood where I was REALLY going with this idea. This was when I was back in elementary school, barely learning my algebra and doing so in a different language. I was going to emphasize how this experience has opened me up to whole other world of responsibilities and possibilities when I was at a such young age. However, as ctymomteacher kindly pointed out to me, would such topic be weak since it happened so long ago? Are there other serious weaknesses within the topic that will undermine the integrity and uniqueness of the essay?</p>
<p>I think it could be workable if you were able to trace a thread from that point forward --results of that incident that demonstrate how it was a turning point of sorts as you describe. Hard to do in a brief essay perhaps but, if you're good at cutting length after first drafts and drawing fast, vivid pictures with sharp detail, doable.</p>
<p>I think this vignette can be the beginning of a good essay that shows how you've learned to operate in a multicultural environment and how you've discovered a love of sharing knowledge with others. If you can connect your experience as a 5th grader to what you've done in high school, that would be great. Have you done tutoring? have you displayed leadership? have you engaged in group projects or study groups? The might be good ways of linking that long ago experience to the person you are now, as you apply to colleges.</p>
<p>"would such topic be weak since it happened so long ago?"</p>
<p>The topic (unless it is offensive in some way) is the least important part of the essay. The topic is just a tool you will be using to show what kind of person you are.</p>