Identity crisis! help!

Applying to College
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i need help.

i applied to northeastern ed II and got accepted with a full ride and i’m so so unbelievably happy, neu is one of if not IS my top choice!!! but after a week of celebration, i’m having an identity crisis. i’m scared my heart lies at barnard college in nyc. i’m binded to northeastern, and i don’t even know if i got into barnard yet, but i’m terrified that i’m gonna regret my decision to go to northeastern. here’s some pros and cons of both.

northeastern

  • pro: in one of the best college cities (boston)

  • pro: one of the best programs for my specific major (music technology)

  • pro: co-op program

  • pro: guaranteed full scholarship

  • pro: i’m basically already committed

  • con: big school

  • con: 5 hours away from home

  • con: not the cutest campus

barnard

  • pro: closer to home

  • pro: ivy league

  • pro: majority feminist, queer student body

  • pro: smaller student body

  • pro: between barnard and columbia, beautiful campus

  • pro: might go for free here too, given i get in, because of demonstrated need

  • con: doesn’t have my specific major (offers a music degree and holds a few music tech classes but doesn’t have a designated music tech major)

  • con: i literally am already committed to another school and would need to fight to get out of that agreement

  • con: not in a super safe part of the city

my brain is telling me that northeastern is better for me academically, based on what i want to achieve, but my heart is telling me that i’m meant to be at barnard. it just kind of feels like home. but i might feel the same way about northeastern! i don’t even know! help! am i screwing myself over? if you go to either school, please let me know what you think ://

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Congrats on your acceptance! From other posts, Barnard is projecting a 4% acceptance rate for the RD round. How would you feel if you gave up Northeastern and don’t get into Barnard? Do you have another affordable option ? I am presuming you did not apply to Barnard ED or if you did, you were deferred to RD?

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thank you so much!! wow, i didn’t know barnard’s acceptance rate is going to be so low this year, that’s crazy! i definitely won’t even touch my spot at northeastern until i find out whether i got into barnard or not. it’s either barnard or northeastern for me, and i’m still deciding which of the two is my top choice. i suppose it depends on a lot of factors. i appreciate your response!!!

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I understand this is a lot to process at your age.

But early decision options are not a new concept and you e-signed the binding docs. You are brilliant with outstanding accomplishments, so there is no question you understand that ethically you need to withdraw your applications from Barnard and other colleges. That was the decision you made when you EDIIed at NEU, not now.

Since they are meeting 100% of your costs you can not use financing as an excuse.

Your pros for NEU outweigh any cons:

-Full ride
-Your major you want with built in internships (cobbling together a major with technical aspects is tough)
-Easy train ride back home when you need a NYC fix
-You were accepted to your EDII school - go enjoy the rest of senior year
-College in Boston with all of the diversity you want to find on and off campus

So, kindly withdraw those other applications and go enjoy the rest of high school - you have missed enough due to Covid. You will have a great time at NEU in a really cool major.

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Barnard’s overall acceptance rate last year was 10% - they took
60% of the class in ED for the Class of 2026.

With an ED acceptance, you are obligated to withdraw all your other options. You can not with good conscience leave apps out there - it is against your ED commitment.

You will risking your acceptance if this is your plan.

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thank you so much, that’s definitely reassuring. and you’re right, the pros do outweigh any cons! i think i’m just going through a bout of self doubt and anxiety since the finish line is in sight and everything is materializing. i’m pretty positive northeastern is the place for me, and worst comes to worst, i can always transfer if i truly dislike it that much. thank you, again!

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The feelings are natural. You are at the end of one process that has been all consuming. It is hard to stop doing that and shift gears.

You succeeded! You accomplished what many dream of - free college at a great place! Embrace that!

You can get someone to help you log in and withdraw those other applications. It is ok to be happy, thrilled, and sad all at the same time during that process. Totally normal.

Then shake it off and please go make the most of being the Class of 22! Be a friend and supporter of those who are still waiting to hear from their colleges. Offer to help out with things you have not made time for because you were under pressure to have an ideal application. Go check out some things you want for your dorm room. You have got this.

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This sounds like something called “buyer’s remorse”. Basically it is very common for people to get nervous after they make a big decision.

From what you said above, Northeastern sounds like a great choice. Boston is indeed a great college city. I personally studied just across the river for my bachelor’s degree and I understand the appeal of Boston. Having a strong program for your major is very important. The coop program is very important. Finding a good job after you get your bachelor’s degree will be much easier if you have good coop experience. This is very important for someone majoring in music technology. The full scholarship is huge. You do not want to take on loans if you can help it and if you do need loans you want to keep them as low as possible.

I would not worry about the size of Northeastern. The music technology program will be much smaller. Because Northeastern is large you will have the opportunity to take a wide range of classes. However, you will have the feeling of being in a smaller community within your specific major.

Personally I like the Northeastern campus. We toured it the day after we toured the Boston University campus, and NEU wins on this front IMHO. I would not worry too much about being 5 hours from home either. Even if you were attending a university that was 20 minutes from home it would still feel like a completely different world compared to living at home. However, if you need help, you can be home or a parent or friend can be nearby with a same-day car ride (with for example no need to book flights).

When you applied ED to Northeastern you were essentially committing yourself to attending if you got accepted and if you can afford it. You have been accepted and it sounds like you can afford it. However, you committed to attending a very good university with a very good program in your major in a very attractive location in a very good university city.

Northeastern is in general very much at the level of an Ivy League university. After you graduate no one will care about “NEU versus Ivy League”. Employers will however care about the experience that you have gained through the coop program. The extra time that you will spend in the coop program will be very, very, very much worth it.

You have a great university to attend in September. Congratulations!

Plan to work hard, focus on your studies, and learn a great deal when you come up here in the fall.

I also agree with other comments that acceptance to Barnard was not going to be guaranteed, nor even likely. Having accepted an ED position I think that you should withdraw your other applications, go to NEU, and never look back.

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With a full ride you have no exception to the binding agreement. Your feelings are understandable. However, for music technology. Northeastern is probably a better choice.

Exceptions to the Early Decision Agreement

There are some exceptions to the binding nature of an early decision agreement. For example, if you truly can’t afford to attend the college with the financial aid package offered, this is usually legitimate grounds for withdrawing from the agreement . Before you back out though, try to work it out with the financial aid office. They might be able to negotiate or offer additional resources to help you pay.

A college may also be willing to allow you to withdraw from the agreement if you have an emergency, such as a personal or family illness, accident, or death. In that case, you should explain the situation to the admissions office. You might be able to take a gap year, or the college could allow you to withdraw entirely.

It’s important to remember that while an early decision contract is not legally binding, there can be severe consequences should you withdraw for a non-compelling reason. The ED college could inform other colleges, and you could lose your place at all the colleges to which you’ve been accepted. So, it’s essential to do your homework and ensure that the ED college truly is your first choice.

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thank you so much, genuinely. you made me feel so much better, and have also made me even more excited to attend northeastern in the fall. i’m definitely going to make the most out of not only my co-op, but the rest of my time in boston as well. thank you again!

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thank you for this!

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Compare the two curricula. Barnard is much more traditionally classical, and the degree is for liberal arts scholars. Yes it provides access to Columbia, MSM and Juilliard, at least in theory, but at Northeastern you have an actual degree program in Music Tech. If that is your area of interest, Northeastern is by far the best choice. And NEC is just down the street as is Berklee. Be happy! And free ride with coop puts you in a really good position financially.

Major Requirements | Barnard Music

Undergraduate Overview - Northeastern CAMD

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that’s very true, i didn’t even take barnard’s classical approach into consideration. thank you so much!

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This is where the contract is your friend: you must withdraw your Barnard application now- you do not have the option to ‘wait & see’.

As others have said, the ‘cold feet’ reaction you are having is normal enough- but you need to shake it off. Go back and look at your list of “pros” for NEU- it is a good strong list!

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definitely true, and you along with the other commenters have really helped me see this! northeastern is a great place and i’m excited to attend. i just withdrew my application to barnard, so it won’t even be an issue going forward!! :)) thank you!

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Congrats & good luck- go Huskies!!

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Wonderful to see that this thread helped you find closure and look ahead with excitement. You’ve done great (highly enviable position) and enjoy the rest of your senior year!

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