When I was in elementary school and middle school, I didn’t really have any friends. This was because I had Asperger Syndrome which made social interactions difficult. There were people I talked to in class but I never formed deeper relationship with. In high school, I began to become better at social interactions. There were some people I had been casual acquaintances with since elementary school who I began having lunch with every day. There were people who I began talking to a lot during school and texting with outside school. Since I had made connections with a lot of people, I had been thinking this year I wanted to have a birthday party. I planned on inviting about 22 friends/ close aquaintences. I’ve been wondering how many people will actually show up. A lot of the people i’m planning to invite I have talked to in school and texted but never really hung out with outside of school. On the other hand I know that even super social people don’t have 25 close friends, and it’s not uncommon to have birthdays with that many people. Some of the people at those parties must be acquaintances. I’m making sure anyone who I invite is friends with at least a couple other people there so no one will like they won’t know anyone. I would think that would make people more likely to come. I also get people are busy but I expect they would still have time to go to a two-hour-Party. What do you think? How many people should I expect to come?
Congrats on becoming better at social interactions and turning some inside high school friends into texting outside school friends. It is hard to gauge how many will come. It depends on a lot of factors like the time and day you choose, if it conflicts with other high school events, what the activity or venue is and how close you are with those people. In most party situations you can expect 60-67% to make it but again it depends on the event. Are you having them RSVP or just letting it be casual?
@readthetealeaves I’m making sure it does not conflict with any school events. I’m not sure if I should do RSVP or make it casual. Which do you think would make people more likely to come? Also as I mentioned I am at least close acquaintances wit everyone whom inviting. I text and see them in school.
I hope your party is fun! Probably everyone won’t come but hopefully enough will. My high school kids’ friends often have other things going on so sometimes can’t always attend parties.
@CheddarcheeseMN no I don’t think everyone will come, but how many do you think will. And if your high school kids have had parties before about what percent of the invited people went?
Have a great time! @Jason101200 You deserve it!
Have a nice day!
@Jason101200 I’ll try to be as kind as possible here but my experience with my two kids in high school is that birthdays parties were attended only by their very good friends, those few who they hung out with outside of school. Most kids will not attend a party for an acquaintance, nearly everyone in early high school (you don’t say what year you are?) is self-absorbed and also learning the social norms you are struggling with. And, kids can be cruel at that age.
For your own sake, please have a small gathering of two or three friends who you can ask personally to join you for a pizza or bowling or whatever it is you’d like to do with them to celebrate your birthday. Try not to make it a huge deal, no written invites or lengthy outing, just something fun you would all enjoy doing for 2-3 hours on a Friday or Saturday night. Certainly enjoy snacks or cake and ice cream with them! I think you’ll have a much better response. If that works out, your circle will begin to grow and you can make the next party a little bigger, but really…bigger is not always better.
And…most of us adults here would agree…we are all lucky to have a handful of REAL friends. Acquaintances come and go and don’t always have your back. You’ll be much better served by looking for those friends who are kind, who you have something in common with, and who will be loyal. And be prepared…even sometimes when you think someone fits the bill, they turn out to be just an acquaintance as well. It takes years to cull your friend list.
Good luck and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
@NEPatsGirl I’m in senior year at the moment, not early high school. I appriciate your honesty, and I will certainly take that into consideration. But if parties are really only attended by aquaintences, how can anyone have parties with 25 people? Even people who are very social don’t have 25 close friends. If you disagree with that then tell me. Something else I could do is have dinner with a large group and then do another activity afterwards with just my closer friends.
No one here can tell you a percentage. But it kind of feels like you are trying to jump into a big event with people you don’t socialize with outside of school now. You could get a good sized group. Or you could get almost none. It is hard to say. I kind of like @NEPatsGirl ‘s suggestion of doing something specific with a smaller group as a starting point.
My middle child is very social. He planned a big post-prom party at our house. We gave him a good bit of money, then he added more of his own. He talked it up and invited a lot of people.
One person, his best friend, came. Turns out that all his other “friends” decided to attend a party where they knew alcohol would be available.
We just don’t want you to be disappointed if not many people come. High schoolers are fickle, to be honest.
@intparent An issue with that is i’m not sure who I would invite to a smaller gathering. I don’t really have any super close friends, but there are a few who I am somewhat close with that I might be able to have an event with. Something else I could do is have an activity (i.e. bowling or a movie) with a small number of friends, then have dinner at a restaurant with a larger group. Would that be a better plan, or should I not do the dinner with a larger group part. Since dinner is very casual, it’s something that could be done with a larger group.
You should probably invite a small friend group to a movie or something and have dinner at a restaurant with that same group. Most of the times, even if you invite your acquaintances and they do come, you’ll probably enjoy more with a small friend group.
Have fun and happy birthday!!!
@MaineLonghorn I just want to point out that post-prom parties are not exactly the same as birthdays. Lots of people have post prom parties so everyone has lots of options to go to. Organizing a post-prom party is very difficult unless you have a large house to have the party in. If your kids had any birthday parties that would be a better indicator.
I hope you have a happy birthday, @Jason101200 My kids are teens, and usually when they go to a party where 25 people show up, that’s because the party itself is the excitement, not the actual birthday boy or girl. For example, the birthday kid might be very rich and host the party at a super cool place, or have a pool party, or a DJ and dance floor. For more middle-class people’s birthday parties, it’s pretty typical to have a smaller group, like 3-6 people. I would suggest you have rsvp’s so that you have a sense of who is coming. My kids usually do like to have the activity-type birthday party (movie and lunch or bowling) because it gives them something to do and talk about. Large “house parties” in high school are often alcohol-related and parents aren’t there. I don’t think that’s what you want to do, as it could get out of control quickly. Those are just my ideas. I hope it’s helpful! Have a wonderful birthday!
Whatever type of party it is, you should just temper your expectations. I agree that a small party with a few friends is the best plan.
@ccprofandmomof2 How many people do your kids invite? If I do an activity I need to know how many people to have.
Don’t focus on a specific number, but 5-10 is best
It depends on when the party date is. One of my kids has a birthday near Christmas break, so usually fewer than half of the people invited are able to show up. That kid invites about 15 people. The other has a birthday at a slow time so usually almost everyone shows up. That kid invites about 6 people. You can use a service like Evite and hide the guest list. That way, if you get lots of NO rsvp’s, then you can add more guests and no one will know that they are second string invitees.
hi jason101200. So my D and her friend had 16th bdays on the same date. they co-hosted a party, we planned in for catered food, and both invited groups of friends - around 40. No alcohol of course. It was unfortunately not as good as turn out as they wanted. 
maybe around 16 kids showed. We had so much left over food. lots of kids said they might come, but few did. As a few posters mentioned above, i felt it was a popularity, self-centered thing. The girls enjoyed who came, but felt disappointed on the whole. I hate to see disappointments. We were NOT the “party to go to” — and that realization was a tinge hurtful to the girls. It may differ with you; but that’s how it was with us. Wishing you the Best. High school can be rough sometimes.
my S who is now 16 has gone to some parties. They were on the edgy side, with kids i really dont want him to hang with. Those parties have been well attended. Not sure why the edgy kids get the stardom.
I would invite a few close friends – the ones you already hang out with outside of school – to go to a movie and get pizza. Adults might attend the birthday party of an acquaintance if it’s hosted by a business associate because that’s part of business socializing, but I don’t think most teens would.
Keep in mind that one of the social conventions associated with birthday parties is that the attendees bring a gift. They don’t have to, of course, and at your age they may not, but people who don’t know you well enough to know what you might like probably aren’t close enough to invite to a birthday party. If this is your first party, it’s a good idea to start small.