My D is at a freshman in European school and poor thing has fallen ill 3 times since September. Today she had to go to the hospital for an unknown allergic reaction and went into shock (she had no allergies previously); she had a first time ever UTI in October during finals, was treated and then it apparently spread to her Kidneys and she was in the hospital in November. Uni has binding study advice so she may have to evaluate taking a leave until the fall because we just found out she may also have contracted epstein barr virus/mono over the past couple weeks-sore throat, fatigue, dizziness, lower back pain (she’s being tested tomorrow). Wants to stay, but finals are next week and she seems exhausted (but happy). She’s been in contact with her study advisor, provided evidence, and is well aware of requirements to receive positive binding study advice, but if she pulls out by Feb 1 she can return in the Fall no problem, otherwise, it’s a gamble as to whether she will be able to perform well and risks being not invited back. Any advice?
I’d take a break. Mono takes a while to recover from and she’ll need a lot of rest to recover and avoid complications.
Define shock here? Is that a term used by a medical person or some second hand description?
So sorry you and she are dealing with such stress and illness. I understand the investment in time and effort made, but health has to come first. This isn’t a race. If she has mono, on top of whatever else is going on, the next couple weeks could be so difficult. I suppose she has to be the judge (what does she think?) but my momma bear mode says get her home. Performing well and getting invited back would be the last of my concerns at this moment. Mine had mono last year and there were consequences. But in the long run those were inconsequential to being healthy. Hugs to you.
If it’s mono, I would urge her to come home. I’ve posted before about my daughter’s illness her senior year (life threatening blood clot) and her too early return to college. Your body needs time to heal from any serious illness, and carrying on with business as usual does not allow that to happen.
Do they have accommodations in the European school? I do not know the term “positive binding study advice.”
My kid had severe mono that affected her vision but she did stay in school, but it was grad school and they made allowances for her.
The thing about mono is you really cannot rush it. If you do, it comes back, worsens and even recurs.
I don’t know what else is going on with your daughter. It sounds like her immune system is going a little awry, maybe from the Epstein-Barr. If she had not had the kidney thing and the allergy/shock things might be different. But her overall health sounds iffy.
It sounds like she needs a full medical evaluation. Can she get that where she is?
Of course health comes first but with a case of mono that lasts two weeks, some kids manage to stay- especially with accommodations. I would bet that your daughter will be sicker than that, but we can’t tell from the info given.
Assuming this is college. Can you fly over there?
I had Epstein-Barr several years ago and I was sick nonstop for ten months. UTI>bronchitis>UTI>bronchitis>repeat. It was before FMLA was enacted so I dragged myself into work every day.
Bring her home and let her heal.
If she was in the USA< I would tell her to either drop for the semester before drop/add period, or drop down to minimum amount of credits to be full time and do nothing other than go to class and study.
My DD had mono in junior year of HS and was able to finish school (but nothing else and was able to get out of “Quarterly tests” (finals for the quarters). I would also say to get diagnosed and talk to the dean of students about accomodations (being able to turn in stuff late).
I am not sure how the UK system works…what would be the equivelent there?
When I was in college I spent a week in a European hospital with kidney stones and a kidney infection in a room with another American student from a different college who had pneumonia. We got good care and the total $$ was super inexpensive and this was decades and decades ago. I agree on a full medical evaluation and discussion around what is needed to continue her foreign study. I would not fear the medical care frankly…just get the opinion and then bring her home if that is the recommendation. To help as the “admin” of her health care, you could contact her college and see what the ramifications would be based on several potential scenarios.
Thank you for your replies. She is awaiting blood test results and receiving necessary medical attention. She wants to stay, take her finals and proceed with the next semester. It would devastate her to leave. I agree with all the mama bears that if her health declines, pull out and re-apply later.
When my daughter was study abroad in Vienna a few years ago, one of her classmates was hospitalized with blood clot complications from her birth control around mid-semester. The program flew her mother over to be there as some medical decisions about treatment needed to be made and she was under 21. I think that she was able to recover after treatment and complete the semester but I know that she was really happy to have her mom with there.
I m going over. I’m sorry for all these college kids going through health issues and find comfort in the community sharing their stories because it reaffirms what I already know: her health is what matters most. In speaking with her she is determined to stay, but is fatigued. She will forge onward, but resting as much as possible and disengaging from upcoming extracurricular things in favor of taking care of herself. She does NOT feel on top of her studies though and I just worry for her, as any mom would. Thanks everybody.
Thank you…you’re right its not a race and she will develop into her aspirations only if she’s healthy.
If you can, I would suggest flying out there and laying eyes on her. I know you many not be able to do this, but this is my reaction.
The mom is going over. I did that when my daughter had mono 3000 miles away. I could get her food, help her test. I took her to a hotel for a few days. When the mono hit her vision I was glad to be there to help her go to the ER and keep her company. She got some extensions on work and did end up staying. I was there two weeks I think. Good luck!
I’m sure you being there will be a bit of a relief to your daughter. Wishing her the best, kindnessmatters!
Safe travels and well wishes to your daughter @kidnessmatters!
I hope she makes a steady recovery! Safe travels to you!
Good luck to you and your daughter. I’m glad you’re going over.
Gosh, thank you everyone!