Im confused why we need 3 examples for a 12 when collegeboard says 1-2 is better

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1

<p>collegeboard clearly says 1-2 well developed examples are better than 3 examples.</p>

<p>why will they award 12's and 11's for 3 examples then?</p>

<p>i posted my essay a while back here that received 10 on the real thing
some nice CC'ers critiqued it and now i have made the changes</p>

<p>what more can i do for an 11/12?
is this 11/12 quality?
plz do help as i must get a very high essay score to make up for the tricky multiple choice
please help me </p>

<p>here it is:</p>

<p>Here is a copy of my essay: Prompt: Are heroes defined as real people who say what they think or not?</p>

<pre><code> Heroes should be defined as people who say what they think.
</code></pre>

<p>In other words, the ability to formulate and express inner thoughts when others lack the courage to do so, can be a betterment and be beneficial to the world and society. Throughout society, life, and literature, the evidence to support this statement is pervasive.
The Supreme Court is the place where laws are enacted to be passed by the Senate and Congress by a vote according to the House of Representatives who either agree or disagree with the law presented. In order to pass a law, people who are heroes on the panel will speak out as to why a certain law should or should not be passed, when others will lack the courage to do so. Because of this act of heroism, the law has passed, because he asserted his position, took a stand for what he believed in, without caring about being penalized or beleaguered by his colleagues. This law made the world a better place. The hero in this scenario is the man who voiced his opinion on whether the law should be passed when others feared to do so.
The literary classic The Grapes of Wrath. In his novel, introduces us to his fearless and assertive character Ma Joad. Throughout the course of the novel, we see how Ma Joad steers the family through numerous hinderances and impediments, specifically, the one in which the men are looking for jobs. Ma is never disheartened and makes family decisions constantly for their betterment and to ensure that they find jobs farther West. Ma is essentially a source of inspiration for the family because she speaks her mind and no one else has the courage to speak and goes along with her. Ma is a headstrong and steadfast leader. She makes the decision to leave the Weedpatch camp in search of jobs for the men. Ma Joad is the true hero of this novel.
Lastly, throughout my personal life, heroism has been a key factor to my success on cross country. Being captain of the varsity cross country team at my school, I put my confidence and vigor into perspective. I speak my mind during meets. I come up with ways to vanquish my opponents in every race and instruct my fellow teammates to do so as well, to ensure that we will win the championship. Others may lack the courage, but I speak my mind openly. I think of myself as the hero of this varsity cross country team.
There is an increased need for heroes in the world today, more than ever. Due to the new laws being passed, heroes are needed to ensure that laws are properly passed and that the laws are passed by a bicameral legislature. In addition, heroes come in handy during athletic sport competitions such as cross country where a person needs to step up to gain a victory by means of leadership and strategy, and in times of crisis such as in The Grapes of Wrath. All in all, heroism leads to a more harmonious and progressive society.</p>

2

<p>The College Board probably means that having 1-2 well-developed examples is perferable to having 3 poorly developed examples.</p>

3

<p>yes i think so silveerturtle</p>

<p>seeing as every1 here has 3 examples…5 paragraph essay</p>

<p>what do u recomment silver with my essay i posted i want a 12 badly</p>

4

<p>I got an 11 and only had 2 body paragraphs. I don’t think it’s a good idea to try to write 3. There’s just no time. Fricking 25 minutes. It takes me 25 minutes to think of what to write! </p>

<p>There’s really no need to get a 12. You have a very good shot at getting high writing subsection score with an 11. Or a 10.</p>

<p>“Throughout society, life, and literature, the evidence to support this statement is pervasive.” Lol! I used that. So formulaic, haha.</p>

5

<p>lol wait chockdude is this 11/12 quality?</p>

<p>i want a 12 like u man what shud i dooooooo</p>

<p>ive alrdy gotten a 10 every single time</p>

6

<p>You don’t argue your point in your essay. You don’t argue why heroes are defined as real people who say what they think. All you do is state that they do. You don’t even define what a hero is. You just say that it is what the prompt says it is and repeat it for each example. In other words, your 3 body paragraphs aren’t fully developed.</p>

<p>+</p>

<p>For example, in all your body paragraphs, you speak about making well-informed decisions and success. What this have to do with the prompt at all? You talk about winning races in your last body paragraph. You seem to use no reasoning at all and only repeat statements. </p>

<p>“I speak my mind during meets.”
Two sentences later:
“Others may lack the courage, but I speak my mind openly.”</p>

<p>+</p>

<p>Even your prompt is wrong. “Heroes should be defined…” Are they or are they not?</p>

7

<p>I got a 12 with 2 examples.</p>

8

<p>chococookie- I guess you took the testmasters class???</p>

9

<p>CB strategies are crap.</p>

<p>Just look in the first part of the BB.</p>

10

<p>I got a 12 with three examples/body paragraphs. I would say write as many examples as you can in the time. Just don’t stop writing basically in that time. And every example you give should be well supported with evidence.</p>