I’m an international student at a big university and I’m in my first undergrad year. The thing is I have not been doing well in any of my classes. I got a 52% on my geography midterm and so far I’m below 50% in political science. However my other classes are okay but not as exceptional as I want them to be. I am not used to having low grades, it’s taking its toll on my anxiety levels. I can’t stop crying at night, at times its worser than that. My parents won’t take it, so I’m under pressure…a lot of it actually. I can’t explain my situation it’s not as simple, and how I got to this university was a matter of hard work and hard work and more hard work plus a considerable amount of faith. I can’t fail. I still have other assignments and the final but I’m not sure how I can possibly get a good grade. And I’m in the process of trying to change from Arts to Management, so it’s now a lot more complicated. Friends? I really have non. I’m very distant from people, they seclude themselves indirectly. I’m depressed. My idea of college before I came here does not tally with what is going on. I’ve gone to my professors. I can’t seem to express my concerns well, so they end up taking me for an annoying kid who is just like the other failing ones in the class. Please I need your help. What can I do to make my grades better? Friends are not in the picture now and I kind of feel like I don’t need them, is that wrong? Apart from that they’re kind of snobbish and don’t understand scholarship kids. Can I ever get a B or A?
If you have to do papers for any of your classes, use the Writing Center facility if there is one on campus. If there are teaching assistants for your classes, see them (instead of the professor). When you do go, have a specific list of questions on the class material, or on a paper or exam that has been returned to you.
I’d say see if someone else in your class wants to study together – maybe there are other international students in the class? By the way, no one knows you are a “scholarship kid” unless you tell them. Likely most of the students at your university are not paying full price, so you are no different than most of them in that respect.
OK, for starters: I’m not a mental health professional. It sounds as though that should be your first concern-- stop by today and make an appointment to speak to a mental health professional at your school. Today.
Academics I’m better at.
Let’s not sweat you “non exceptional” grades and concentrate on the two courses where you’re really struggling. Once you get those grades up, you can worry about pulling up those other grades. It’s kind of like Academic Triage-- you start with the most serious cases first: Geography and Poly Sci.
Geography is a LOT of studying. It’s something you can power through. Go old school here. Flash cards, lots of writing and rewriting-- writing (not typing, but plain old writing) will get the information into your head. Make lots of blank copies of the maps you need to know, and fill them in over and over and over again until they’re in your head. This course will take some time, but I sense that you’re smart-- you can absolutely pull this grade up with the determination to do so.
Poly Sci is probably a very different type of studying. You’ll need to understand relationships, to understand the “why” as well as the “what” and the “how.” So that may require some time at your professor’s office hours. The suggestion of a study group is a good one-- and it will help with the whole “friend” issue you spoke of.
Do you need friends? Well, I guess technically not, they’re not like food or oxygen. But they make life a whole lot easier, so I certainly would not be too quick to discount them. As @intparent mentioned, no one knows that you’re a “scholarship kid” — and a LOT Of kids at a LOT of schools are also there on scholarships. So I think that maybe you’re creating barriers there that don’t really exist. I think maybe you need to push your way a little out of your shell, and get to know some of the people you’ll be sharing the next 4 years with.
Here’s what you said: "Friends? I really have non. I’m very distant from people, they seclude themselves indirectly. I’m depressed. " YOU’RE distant and they seclude themselves. No, that’s not how I read it. If you’re distant, then they give you what you’re asking for: distance. If you want that distance to disappear, you’ll need to stop being distant.
But I think that probably brings us back to the mental health professionals.
I would have to agree with the two moms :D. It is an extra factor that you are an international student but it is best to seek help from counselors I believe
Good thoughts on how to study, although when I took a college geography class, it wasn’t a lot of place/map memorization. It was more discussion on how the geography of the places we studied had impacted the human society in the region. And we had to do some thinking on our own about how politics in the region caused decisions on geographic boundaries ( like country borders) that don’t match the physical geography, and what kind of issues this can cause. So there is an analysis and synthesis component that might be part of the work.
I am wondering if the exams are essay exams. Many students come to college not knowing how to do a bluebook exam (do they still actually use bluebooks?). I personally got a C on my first one. If you have essay exams, one of my kids would try to anticipate a bunch possible essay questions ahead of the exam, and outline how she would answer them. She was an all A student in college, so it worked for her.
I also wonder how good your notetaking skills are. Are you taking careful notes in class? Are you listening for what the prof is emphasizing, and what they are adding beyond the text?
Thank you for the kind words and advice. Exams are in short answer format. I didn’t know that each question was 20%, because the space was so little. Which also showed that I missed the important stuff, I might need to read more. I listen in class, try to do note taking but it’s almost a challenge because of the powerpoints. It’s as if she’s repeating what she has already given us. Il try writing and more rewriting.
You know like how everyone has this plan, almost like everything is working for them and hey know what they want to do? I’m not exactly one of those, I came here hoping something would spark interest but nothing is. Failing in my first midterms just made me feel like it’s bleak. But I’m hopeful, I really am. It’s confusing, but I believe it will work out. Next term will allow me to get A’s I know. Perhaps it’s just this overwhelming fear of being at college. How did your daughter do it? I’m impressed beyond doubt. You must be proud, I hope to make my family proud all the time that it becomes so obvious. Especially my mom. All the same, I appreciate your help, I honestly didn’t know how to open up, and this was a good way to open up.
OK, for starters I know your comment about pride was directed to @intparent, but I want to chime in. Pride in your kids is NOT about grades. I love my kids to death. And I’m happy when they find success, whether it be in academics or any other arena. But I’m proud of the people they’re becoming. I’m proud when they do things for others, when they use the gifts they were given for the betterment of others. Pride has nothing to do with a transcript.
And I think you would be surprised at how few college kids have that plan you spoke about. This site is NOT indicative of the typical high school or college kid. Honest. MOST kids are lucky if they think they kind of might have a glimmer of an idea of what they might want to consider doing down the road. And that thought of a glimmer of what they might want to do frequently changes over the course of their college careers. SO MANY kids change their majors. So don’t think any less of yourself because you’re not locked into a plan for your future.
I imagine the reason that nothing is sparking your interest is because you’re struggling to adjust to the US in general and to college in particular. How can you think about what you enjoy, when you’re having trouble making friends, and feel swallowed up by coursework?
So here’s what I suggest:
think about starting a study group-- or joining one-- in the courses you’re struggling in. Studying with other kids will help get your grades up, while at the same time giving you the basis for some companionship. And the best way to learn anything is to teach it to someone else.
Find ONE activity to join. Not something too time intensive-- I know those grades are worrisome and will require your time. But you need to break out of the schoolwork rut and spend a little time living. Is there a group on campus for people from your home country? Or some sort of an organization for international students? Anything related to any hobby you enjoyed back home?
I'm not sure whether or not to mention this, but the American holiday of Thanksgiving is coming up in about a month It's a BIG holiday. Your dorms may very well be closed (or at least to US students) for that weekend. That may mean that the only kids on campus that weekend are the internationals. That may be a great opportunity for you to bond with some other kids who may also be struggling to fit in. Why not ask your RA today what the situation is? You can start to give some thought into how you can turn an semi-empty campus into an opportunity to change things..
I am really proud of her. But you know what? I am also really proud of my other daughter, who goes to a more challenging college that my first one did, and works crazy hard for Cs in some classes. She keeps looking for ways to get help and fights her way through the areas that are challenging for her. Oh, and second one has changed majors a couple of times, too – everyone doesn’t have a plan coming in, and those that do often change their plan.
Oh, I feel bad for saying what I said. I guess it came out in the wrong context. I’m truly sorry. Every parent should be proud of their kids, in school or not in school. I was just relating to where I’m from I guess. If I didn’t get a good grade I’d get some nasty comments like, “you’re a failure and you’re not going to be anyone in life”. So, maybe that’s how I was trying to put it. I’m really sorry. Thank you for the following advice, I appreciate it.
International students have the added burden of trying to please excessively demanding parents; it seems to be an unfair and horrible stress-inducer and, unfortunately, a common theme.
When someone tells his/her child that he/she is a failure, that adult is a failure as a parent. I don’t mean to offend your family, but it’s just very mean to say to a child, no matter what age you are! (I’m first generation and have seen lots of this firsthand).
Being cruel is not a motivator and does not help you when you are having difficulty with coursework and adjusting to a foreign and new place. Your parent has no idea how hard the US university system is now.
So. . . . . You fix this by listening to the advice of the previous posters^^^^ and finding a supportive “adult” either at the wellness clinic or at the international students’ offices. The right people will be supportive and helpful without cutting you down.
You also need to “live” at the HELP centers until your grades come up:
** Writing center
Office hours
Tutoring center
Emails to the professors.**
Right now, your goal should be to try to get C’s so that you can maintain a passing grade. If the professor allows pass/fail grades, you may want to consider that.
I’ll tell you what I’ve always told my children: Just do your best; we’re proud of who you AND are what you have accomplished. A grade is just a letter and DOES NOT define you!
Does your professor post the powerpoints online? If she posts the powerpoint slides online before class, you can bring them to class and write your notes directly on them, which can be an easier way to bring notes. If the slides are available after class, then try to take notes on things your professor discusses that are not on the slides since you’ll have the slides available to study from. If the slides are not available at all, then perhaps you could ask your professor if they would be willing to make them available for students. You don’t want to spend the entire class time copying down the slides, if you don’t have to.
If you have trouble with note-taking, you might want to check to see if your school offers a note-taking service. You may have to pay, but it might help to have a backup set of notes from another student, if you’re having trouble paying attention in class and taking notes.
To be completely honest, most college students have no idea what they are doing. Many are playing it by ear from semester-to-semester. They’re trying different things and different classes. Students change majors and career goals all of the time. Most students don’t know at all what they really want to major in or what they really want to do after college. Many post-college adults don’t really know what they are doing either and are just kind of figuring it out. I wouldn’t feel too left out in that regard. You’re in good company with that.